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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My sister has said I've made things awkward but I disagree

360 replies

Robinson89 · 14/10/2021 17:36

I worked in child care for over 10 years, mainly as a nanny, and although I've changed professions completely now, I still occasionally babysit for some families during evenings and weekends. My rate is £10ph and has been for the last few years.

Last week my sisters friend (I don't know her personally) asked if I'd be interested in babysitting her children occasionally. I said yes and told her to pass my number on and let her know to ring me if she had any questions. Yesterday I received a text from the friend asking if I could babysit this upcoming weekend as she wanted to go on a night out for her friends birthday. It would be for around 6 hours until 11:30pm. I told her no problem, asked for her address and explained that my rate was £10. She replied shortly after explaining that she was looking to pay around £8.50 as that is all she could afford. I sent a polite text back to say I understood her position, but unfortunately my rate was £10 and it is what I charge all my families. I said if she changed her mind then to let me know and I'd happily babysit for her.

I never heard anything about it again until my sister phoned me this morning to say that her friend was really disappointed that she couldn't go on her night out and why would I expect £10 for basically putting the kids to bed and sitting on the sofa watching tv all night Hmm. I have no idea why my sister is even entertaining this, and frankly I'm a bit hurt. It has nothing to do with the fact that I'd be sat watching the tv whilst the kids are in bed. It's the fact that I'm giving up my weekend (I work full time myself) to babysit her children and not being able to spend time in my own home with my own family. I'm not desperate for the money so my down time is really important to me. I'm also a qualified trained professional who knows what to do in the event of an emergency. AIBU?

OP posts:
Leedsfan247 · 15/10/2021 18:30

Your rate is your rate if someone can’t afford you it’s up to them

Joesmummy1 · 15/10/2021 18:31

You’ve done nothing wrong. At all.

That’s your (sounds fair to me) rate.

If someone doesn’t/can’t pay then that’s ok too. They just need to find a 16yo who will be more than happy to!

Iwtwab12bow · 15/10/2021 18:37

Actually, l used to take all my ironing down and use their electricity. Honestly £10 an hour is the going rate. Baby sitting is not easy and a big responsibility.

DemBonesDemBones · 15/10/2021 18:38

Wow, I knew I was cheap but £10 an hour?! I charge half that, am DBS checked and trained in first and emergency paediatric aid, 20 years experience in childcare.

Dutch1e · 15/10/2021 18:42

@DemBonesDemBones

Wow, I knew I was cheap but £10 an hour?! I charge half that, am DBS checked and trained in first and emergency paediatric aid, 20 years experience in childcare.
Yes, ridiculously low rates. Please raise them to something that reflects the value you bring into their home
Coffeemaniac · 15/10/2021 18:44

Yanbu it’s your time and your skills she wants, she pays the rate you want.

DemBonesDemBones · 15/10/2021 18:45

@Dutch1e I have been with most of my families so long that they do pay me quite a bit more. But if it was a new customer and I said my rates were £10 I'd expect them to laugh-that's just not realistic around here and I live in a very naice village in Berkshire!

Lifeinthescratcher · 15/10/2021 18:56

Your ds and her cheeky friend is being UR, you are not

Bugbabe1970 · 15/10/2021 19:06

@Viviennemary

I think its quite a hefty charge for evening babysitting. But if that's your price that's it. Presumably its cash in hand or will you be declaring it as earned income.
🙄 It's a fair price People pay more than that to get their dogs walked Why do we not value our child care workers in this country!
cherish123 · 15/10/2021 19:07

YANBU
You work full-time. You are entitled to your weekend. She tried to negotiate a rate, you said no. End of story. She could have got another babysitter. I am sure a teen would do it for £8.50.

nomoneytreehere · 15/10/2021 19:11

We pay the teenager over the road £10 an hour. Cf sister's friend.

pantsandpringles · 15/10/2021 19:17

YABU, you should have offered to babysit their precious little darling for free!

Back in the real world though, she's an absolute chancer and a bit of an arse to complain to your sister about it.

BritMommyAbroad · 15/10/2021 19:19

No. YANBU. I actually think £10 per hour is pretty reasonable. I’d tell your sister and her friend to piss off. You’re not a charity.

Empressofthemundane · 15/10/2021 19:27

YANBU

fourandnomore · 15/10/2021 19:28

If she can afford to pay for 6hr babysitting at any rate plus a night out, she can afford to reduce the length of her night out or hire someone whose rates are lower, well done for sticking to your rate! How rude and your sister has nothing to do with it.

oakleydo · 15/10/2021 19:30

If she wants to pay £8.50 she needs to find a local teenager who is happy to sit on the sofa for a few hours. Not a professional who already has a full time job

Cheeky woman to try and knock you down!

What planet is she on!

Insanelysilver · 15/10/2021 19:49

The rate you’re charging seems very fair to me. Where I live, I can’t find a dog sitter whip charges less than £18 an hour for sitting on my sofa watching Netflix. Not even walking the dog literally just sitting down watching tv.
That woman sounds like spoilt brat. When she doesn’t get what she wants she phones your sister to bitch about it.
Also I’d point out to your sister that she should have told this friend that you were charging a fair fee and it’s sad if she can’t afford it but that life isn’t. She should be in your corner totally backing you up.

Twilight7777 · 15/10/2021 19:53

YANBU even in the slightest!

OldGeezer · 15/10/2021 19:55

Never buy from or sell to friends or family - full stop!
Make friends of clients, never make clients of friends/family. (I have a drawer full of the T Shirts 😥)

Dixiechickonhols · 15/10/2021 19:59

Your sister is being ridiculous. You were very polite with friend. You are experienced and you have families willing to pay. It’s a take it or leave it scenario. If she wants to pay £8.50 then she can look for a sitter who charges that.
Don’t get drawn further you don’t have to justify self.
There was a thread on here a month or two ago and teens on Facebook were wanting more than you charge.

Dixiechickonhols · 15/10/2021 20:00

I pay my dog Walker £12 an hour. So £10 for being responsible for a child seems reasonable to me.

Dixiechickonhols · 15/10/2021 20:06

If anyone had made it awkward it’s the friend. You were able to help short notice. I wonder if she’s a dont ask dont get type and now feels silly so is mouthing off to your sister.

Blondeshavemorefun · 15/10/2021 20:13

Total cheek !!

That’s your rate. Which is low tbh - if I bs I charge £12ph and have done for ages

If your sister was that bothers either she could have bs or paid the £1.50 diff which is £9

Can’t believe the friend argues over £9

Youdoyoutoday · 15/10/2021 20:17

If £9 is a deal breaker for her then she shouldn't be going out as she obviously can't afford it. Tell your sister its none of her business and not to recommend any of her friends again.

Youdoyoutoday · 15/10/2021 20:23

Plus good baby sitters who you can trust are like gold dust so the friend has done herself no favours!

Ours is a girl from the nursery my DD goes to and I trust her, pay her £10 an hour and pay for her £20 taxi ride home because I don't want her getting the train late at night and she doesn't drive, she didn't ask for that though, I offered.

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