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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My sister has said I've made things awkward but I disagree

360 replies

Robinson89 · 14/10/2021 17:36

I worked in child care for over 10 years, mainly as a nanny, and although I've changed professions completely now, I still occasionally babysit for some families during evenings and weekends. My rate is £10ph and has been for the last few years.

Last week my sisters friend (I don't know her personally) asked if I'd be interested in babysitting her children occasionally. I said yes and told her to pass my number on and let her know to ring me if she had any questions. Yesterday I received a text from the friend asking if I could babysit this upcoming weekend as she wanted to go on a night out for her friends birthday. It would be for around 6 hours until 11:30pm. I told her no problem, asked for her address and explained that my rate was £10. She replied shortly after explaining that she was looking to pay around £8.50 as that is all she could afford. I sent a polite text back to say I understood her position, but unfortunately my rate was £10 and it is what I charge all my families. I said if she changed her mind then to let me know and I'd happily babysit for her.

I never heard anything about it again until my sister phoned me this morning to say that her friend was really disappointed that she couldn't go on her night out and why would I expect £10 for basically putting the kids to bed and sitting on the sofa watching tv all night Hmm. I have no idea why my sister is even entertaining this, and frankly I'm a bit hurt. It has nothing to do with the fact that I'd be sat watching the tv whilst the kids are in bed. It's the fact that I'm giving up my weekend (I work full time myself) to babysit her children and not being able to spend time in my own home with my own family. I'm not desperate for the money so my down time is really important to me. I'm also a qualified trained professional who knows what to do in the event of an emergency. AIBU?

OP posts:
josbd · 16/10/2021 06:18

Would you argue about the price of a meal?

Would you argue the price of a haircuT

How bloody DARE this pair of charlatans bully you and try to make you feel guilty!!

Friend is bad enough, but your sister is a disloyal, vile creature.

Stick to your guns, OP, and tell those two to fuck right off!!

CorianderAndCream · 16/10/2021 07:09

I got £8 an hour as a 16 year old with no qualifications... £10 is hardly bank breaking

Dorisspider · 16/10/2021 07:32

Blimey I had no idea babysitting was so well paid.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 16/10/2021 07:51

[quote madisonbridges]@Treesandsheepeverywhere. Thanks for letting me know. I don't have those contacts so that won't work for me. But £13ph, do you ever need a stand in whilst you're on holiday?[/quote]
I started on £10ph and built up the trust over a few years. It's not an overnight thing. When you get repeat work it then leads to being recommended to others. I started with one family and at last count I've babysat for about 12 different families all through word of mouth. All within 4 miles of each other, so I'm familiar with the area, the kids etc.
Biggest compliment I ever got was being chosen for a job over a Norland nanny.
Start with one client and be consistent and go above board.

Jangle33 · 16/10/2021 07:59

Wow! £10 standard here.

If she can’t afford it then she needs to adjust her night out plans, maybe she should ask them for a discount too Grin

madisonbridges · 16/10/2021 08:04

@Treesandsheepeverywhere. Thanks for that info. It's very kind of you to take the time. I'm definitely going to look into this. It would work perfectly for me.

Bangolads · 16/10/2021 08:47

Ignore your sister she’s being an idiot

Emberino · 16/10/2021 09:10

Your sister is being totally unreasonable….was in a similar situation with mine and her friend over DH doing some work on her house…it’s his highly skilled trade neither liked the rate he charged per day which was a fraction of the cost of the companies they were considering getting in thought he should give up his weekends and family time for what they considered was “fair mates rates”…both of them had high paid consultant doctor’s salaries coming into the house and could earn £1000 per day locumming. Never mix friends, business and money.
Sister was vile on the phone to me about it, even on one occasion when he’d helped her out for free! Another relative did the same, bit my DHs hand off when he did some work for him, after he’d paid him said all the other quotes were double and he should be charging more, but didn’t offer to pay him more, next time got stroppy with me as DH was too busy to do some urgent work for him and I said he needed to find someone else. Families are mostly crap.

bumbleymummy · 16/10/2021 09:11

Yanbu. Why didn’t she just cut her night out short by an hour?

sue20 · 16/10/2021 10:06

Bit of an odd post. The issue not the babysitting rates but what sister is up to? Repeating/creating some guilt trip onto you? What is HER relationship with this friend exactly? That is being put onto you...

clarehhh · 16/10/2021 10:39

She says £10 an hour , seems reasonable to me it is more where I live.

susiella · 16/10/2021 10:48

And it's usually Viviennemary

AlfonsoTheDinosaur · 16/10/2021 10:55

@susiella

And it's usually Viviennemary
I inevitably find Viviennemary's posts unhelpful.
TRex57128 · 16/10/2021 14:25

You are not BU. They are being rude. If all it entails is watching TV then she can get a teenager down the road to do it.

JuneJuly · 16/10/2021 16:33

I suppose you could suggest to your sister that, if she feels it's reasonable to miss out on £9, she can use her own money to make up the difference to facilitate her friend's night out. I mean, what's £9...right?!

DebHagland · 16/10/2021 17:31

For the services of a qualified professional nanny £10 ph is cheap........if it was a teenage daughter of a friend/relative looking to earn a few extra quid then £40-50 for the evening would be reasonable.

FeeLock · 16/10/2021 17:35

It sounds as though your sister's friend has been grumbling to her about this, and your sister has decided to pass it on with interest.

Set your rate and stick to it. All good wishes. Flowers

Newbabynewhouse · 16/10/2021 21:49

Youre free to charge as much as you want... they can take it or leave it.. your are not obliged to do anything you don't want to do...

Kiquina · 16/10/2021 23:08

Uauuhh the cheek of that lady! We live in the US and over here not even a friends teenage daughter will come for less than 20$ so she has a real cheek to ask you to reduce your wage! Don’t bend!

Gardenglove · 17/10/2021 14:50

@itsallgoingpearshaped

YANBU.

People pay their cleaners more without question.
People pay the people who mow their lawns more hourly without question.

But gasp at the very idea of paying a decent hourly rate to someone who is watching over the most important things in their lives, their children!

Totally! Erm sometimes jobs like security guards, receptionists etc may be just sitting down, but in a position of real responsibility and be on call at anytime! Also overnight care workers etc. Should they be happy with a fiver and a bag of doritos?! It's all part of the cost of being a parent. I wonder if she haggled over the price of nappies?! Confused YANBU at all! I think your sister should be embarrassed for her actions. Good for you for not doing it and standing your ground. I wish I was like that! I'd have probably done it and then felt miserable and resentful Blush I need to get more assertive!!
Discofish · 17/10/2021 15:36

So 6 hours at a tenner an hour would have been 60 quid. At £8.50 an hour 51 quid. Who effectively cancels their night out for the sake of £9! And if she couldn't go out then presumably she couldn't find anyone willing to do it cheaper or for free- or she left it too late to organise. Not your fault at all.

Dovecare · 18/10/2021 13:07

I would not pay 10 per hour and I think 8.50 is reasonable.

KayKayWat · 18/10/2021 13:22

@Dovecare

I would not pay 10 per hour and I think 8.50 is reasonable.
If you can't afford a tenner an hour then you're probs not the primary demographic who would require a nanny. Some nannies are making like £60k+ a year.
MoonGeek · 18/10/2021 16:08

I think you handled it perfectly OP. It's not about whether the rate is too high or not; if the rate is too high she doesn't have to accept the offer and can choose to use someone else. Don't let them make you feel bad about it. Also, who would cancel their whole night out for the sake of £9?!?

TracyLords · 18/10/2021 18:10

@Dovecare that’s fine. But don’t expect to have qualified nannies lining up to babysit your kids