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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My sister has said I've made things awkward but I disagree

360 replies

Robinson89 · 14/10/2021 17:36

I worked in child care for over 10 years, mainly as a nanny, and although I've changed professions completely now, I still occasionally babysit for some families during evenings and weekends. My rate is £10ph and has been for the last few years.

Last week my sisters friend (I don't know her personally) asked if I'd be interested in babysitting her children occasionally. I said yes and told her to pass my number on and let her know to ring me if she had any questions. Yesterday I received a text from the friend asking if I could babysit this upcoming weekend as she wanted to go on a night out for her friends birthday. It would be for around 6 hours until 11:30pm. I told her no problem, asked for her address and explained that my rate was £10. She replied shortly after explaining that she was looking to pay around £8.50 as that is all she could afford. I sent a polite text back to say I understood her position, but unfortunately my rate was £10 and it is what I charge all my families. I said if she changed her mind then to let me know and I'd happily babysit for her.

I never heard anything about it again until my sister phoned me this morning to say that her friend was really disappointed that she couldn't go on her night out and why would I expect £10 for basically putting the kids to bed and sitting on the sofa watching tv all night Hmm. I have no idea why my sister is even entertaining this, and frankly I'm a bit hurt. It has nothing to do with the fact that I'd be sat watching the tv whilst the kids are in bed. It's the fact that I'm giving up my weekend (I work full time myself) to babysit her children and not being able to spend time in my own home with my own family. I'm not desperate for the money so my down time is really important to me. I'm also a qualified trained professional who knows what to do in the event of an emergency. AIBU?

OP posts:
EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 14/10/2021 17:51

@Waspsarearseholes

I'm not sure thats clear, I've reread it several times

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 14/10/2021 17:52

@Waspsarearseholes

Nevermind I am definitely being unobservant OOPS BlushGrin

HeartsAndClubs · 14/10/2021 17:56

I think that people seem to think that if they know you or know someone who knows you you should be giving them cheaper rates.

My DP used to work for a place where they had a lot of live events, think actual famous acts, and he would get calls from people who he didn’t even know saying “hello, can you get me some tickets for xxx event?” And when he said “well, all you need to do is ring the booking line, give them your credit card details and they’ll sell you the tickets,” they used to be really put out and act surprised as if they expected him to wangle them some free tickets.

People are cheeky fuckers, and there’s no such thing as friends in business.

Tell them to get stuffed.

treesandweeds · 14/10/2021 17:56

@EineReiseDurchDieZeit

That is, if I'm understanding you correctly OP that you asked for £10 total not per hour?
I doubt it, why would she do that?!
Coffeetree · 14/10/2021 17:56

Ugh, no of course YANBU. Sounds like your sister made a promise for a low rate, without mentioning to you.

My dad did this to me once. He boasted to his colleague that I could sort some legal issue really easily, he said shouldn't take more than 30 min! The person showed up in my office all relieved and hopeful. It turned out to be a really complex matter for which our firm's fee would be £1000 plus. So awkward all around. Thanks dad.

FudgeSundae · 14/10/2021 17:58

If your sister is that bothered why doesn’t she make up the shortfall?

Bluntness100 · 14/10/2021 17:59

Your sisters being horrible why should you start to work for this woman cheaply and your rates are cheap enough as it is. Tell them both to jog on or she can give her mate an extra tenner to give to you.

But really? Her mate can’t go to a night out for the sake of her baby sitter costs nine quid more than she wishes to spend?

My arse.

StealthPolarBear · 14/10/2021 18:01

I assune the op meant per hour.
A pp made a good point - as her if shed be willing to do overtime in whatever her job is for a lower rate at the weekend.

ThinWomansBrain · 14/10/2021 18:01

I think I'd be pretty pissed off with sister for entertaining the idea of "reccomending" me for a below minimum wage role, let alone supporting the CF and saying I'd make it awkward.

Let your sister do it. - or the CF go out for 5 hours rather than 6 if £50 is all she can afford (although wouldn't touch it with a bargepole now!)

Spidey66 · 14/10/2021 18:02

Definitely £10 ph not per evening, it says so in the first paragraph, which is a very reasonable price.

The friend/sister are being unreasonable.

Original poster
Robinson89 · 14/10/2021 18:02

Glad to hear that I'm not being unreasonable. I'd hate to think that she thinks I'm unsympathetic to her situation, but her finances really have nothing to do with me and at the end of the day I'm just trying to make a living myself.

Sorry if I've confused people - my hourly rate is £10.

Yes, my DBS is on the update service which renews every year @Enterifyoudare Smile

Great idea to suggest that my sister does the work Wink

OP posts:
ChargingBuck · 14/10/2021 18:03

my sister phoned me this morning to say that her friend was really disappointed that she couldn't go on her night out

FFS

So for the difference of £9, your sister's pal had to cancel her entire evening? Chinny ...

If sister is so put out by this, she could have offered to pay the difference herself. Or take on the babysitting herself.

The pal is a CF btw - first for asking, & second for snitching to your sister.
And it's none of your sister's business what your hourly rate is, & she's a CF too, for expecting you to discount it for her pal.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 14/10/2021 18:03

Yep, I didnt notice that part, and I've already acknowledged my mistake.

Either way its CF

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 14/10/2021 18:03

What a nerve. Why can't your sister do it. My cat sitter charges more than that.

ElizaDarcysDeeds · 14/10/2021 18:03

It probably has made things awkward but that's not your fault nor your problem.

StealthPolarBear · 14/10/2021 18:05

I'm guessing they were hoping you'd offer to do it for nothing as you just love watching tv in other people's houses

Fizzgigg · 14/10/2021 18:06

@ChargingBuck "chinny" Grin Grin

Anonymice1 · 14/10/2021 18:06

Your sister should do it for free. It’s just a Saturday sitting on the sofa in someone elses home. £10 is cheap for a Sat night op.

ChargingBuck · 14/10/2021 18:06

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

What a nerve. Why can't your sister do it. My cat sitter charges more than that.
ha, read this as "my cat charges more than that".

I imagine cats don't deign to work for less than NMW.

Luckytattie · 14/10/2021 18:06

AND If something happened with the kids it's be you dealing with it t. deffo not unreasonable

ChargingBuck · 14/10/2021 18:07

[quote Fizzgigg]@ChargingBuck "chinny" Grin Grin[/quote]
I am a laaaaydeee of a certain age Fizz :)

Lightswitch123 · 14/10/2021 18:07

@Waspsarearseholes

Your sister is really taking the piss. Her friend is looking to save £9 on her evening out. She either goes out for an hour less or has one or two fewer drinks. It's quite simple. Would she go to the bar and say she'd like X drink at £10 bit only wants to pay £8.50?! Of course she wouldn't because you have to pay what things cost!
Exactly. £10/h is cheap for babysitting where I live
TheReluctantPhoenix · 14/10/2021 18:08

I think it is cheap too. You would not get a qualified professional for under £12/hour here.

In any event, you charge what you charge and they can take it or leave it.

LuLaLeggings · 14/10/2021 18:09

I think I charged £4 an hour 25 years ago as a 14 year old (nobody seemed that fussed leaving their children with another child back then Confused) so I think £10 is very reasonable when your response to any emergency would be more than I'll call my mum Blush

MadeOfStarStuff · 14/10/2021 18:09

How does she have the nerve to get so worked up about less than a tenner difference in price? If she’s going on a night out that’s barely the price of 2 drinks (1 in some places!). If she’s willing to miss out on her night out over it that’s her choice.

YANBU at all