My sister has said I've made things awkward but I disagree

[Robinson89]

I worked in child care for over 10 years, mainly as a nanny, and although I've changed professions completely now, I still occasionally babysit for some families during evenings and weekends. My rate is £10ph and has been for the last few years.

Last week my sisters friend (I don't know her personally) asked if I'd be interested in babysitting her children occasionally. I said yes and told her to pass my number on and let her know to ring me if she had any questions. Yesterday I received a text from the friend asking if I could babysit this upcoming weekend as she wanted to go on a night out for her friends birthday. It would be for around 6 hours until 11:30pm. I told her no problem, asked for her address and explained that my rate was £10. She replied shortly after explaining that she was looking to pay around £8.50 as that is all she could afford. I sent a polite text back to say I understood her position, but unfortunately my rate was £10 and it is what I charge all my families. I said if she changed her mind then to let me know and I'd happily babysit for her.

I never heard anything about it again until my sister phoned me this morning to say that her friend was really disappointed that she couldn't go on her night out and why would I expect £10 for basically putting the kids to bed and sitting on the sofa watching tv all night . I have no idea why my sister is even entertaining this, and frankly I'm a bit hurt. It has nothing to do with the fact that I'd be sat watching the tv whilst the kids are in bed. It's the fact that I'm giving up my weekend (I work full time myself) to babysit her children and not being able to spend time in my own home with my own family. I'm not desperate for the money so my down time is really important to me. I'm also a qualified trained professional who knows what to do in the event of an emergency. AIBU?

Agree with all the 'not unreasonable's. Haven't used babysitters for years, so out of touch with rates. However 50 years ago as a teenager I was paid 50p for a whole evening with three kids under 5 ...

So roughly a £12 difference on the night? She could have sat out a few rounds....

Expecting you to give discount on your hourly rate saving her £9 for the evening is a bit of a cheek as no doubt she’ll be spending a lot on drink that evening. How tight can people be

@someofusdontknowwhy

She was quibbling over £9? If her budget is that tight that £9 is the difference between a night out or not then I think she needs to look at her priorities

Just going to say exactly this!

@BestZebbie

As an adult £8.50 is under the current NMW - which makes it especially cheeky given it is a weekend evening and you are experienced.

Spot on!!

If £9 decides whether she can afford the night out or not she needs to stay home and save up more pennies.
And your sister needs to butt out.

yadnbu

Not BU at all. That's your rate. She can pay it or find someone else.
Nothing awkward about that unless your sister has created an expectation, in which case that's her problem.

@ILoveJamaica

No one would be happy to pay a Babysitter £60 for one night. You can't compare your hourly rate to other jobs, as it's not the same.

I look after dogs for people when they are at work. I charge £17 per day, per dog. If I tried to charge £10 per hour, that would make it £90 per day, per dog, and no one would pay that.

Why not? Is it because it's mainly women who are babysitters and any job done by women is of low value and therefore should be low paid and below minimum wage?

OP, if she ever does ask you to babysit, make sure you get paid in advance. People like this will try to pay you less than the agreed amount or will have an excuse for not paying that day and then drag it out.

You are not being unreasonable.
What a load of rubbish she couldn't go out over an extra £9 for the evening. If she had a few less drinks she would have been fine.
Just pushing her luck as your sister is her friend.

Stick to you rate of £10.00 . What a cheek your sister has …. Does your sister usually try to get you to do what she wants by guilt tripping you? If this is usual behaviour for your sister well done for standing up to her . Your sisters friend needs to find a cheaper sitter perhaps she can ask your sister . Problem solved and anyway it’s not your problem …

@EineReiseDurchDieZeit

£8.50 for SIX HOURS thats not minimum wage!

£10 for 6 hours is also less than minimum wage.

Friend is CF, but you are selling yourself short!

That’s her hourly rate. Not for the entire evening.

I can only assume your sister told her mate to expect mates rates , without asking you first.
It’s not awkward for you. It is for her.
Tell sister your rate is fixed ,before she suggests you to anyone else
Friend should pay a teenager - but tbh, they’d probably want £10 an hour nowadays anyways lol.

You should have told your sister if you were that bothered you should have babysat for her. X

"Why not? Is it because it's mainly women who are babysitters and any job done by women is of low value and therefore should be low paid and below minimum wage?"

Yup.

@ILoveJamaica
Presumably you look after more than one dog at a time, and don't survive earning just £17 a day?
It's a bit difficult, when babysitting in someone's house, to add other children into the mix and divide the cost.

It's not just having the skills to intervene if something goes wrong. It's also that if something DOES go wrong and the child comes to harm, the babysitter will bear the legal, moral, and emotional responsibility. It's a huge responsibility for such low pay.

Your Sister and her friend are CFs.

No, you are not being unreasonable or awkward. Why didn't your sister tell her how much you charge in the first place.
Once you start that sort of thing then word gets around and you'll never get 10ph again.
Too bad. She has no business moaning that you'll just be watching TV when children in bed.
I have done nannying and it's sometimes not all sunshine and roses. You are there because they have to have a responsible adult with them.
Your experience is why you call the shots, just as a junior doctor gets paid less than a consultant.

YANBU Good for you for knowing your worth, you are an experienced practitioner and should be paid as such. Your sister and her mate are CFs. Your sister has made it awkward for herself. If her friend wants to pay below NMW for an adult she needs to find a babysitter who is younger and this more experienced. To blame you for her not being able to go is ridiculous!

I got £4800 for 48 hours looking after 5 children 1999/2000 millennium. 3 sets of parents went to France.
Job was advertised in The Lady magazine.

You most certainly are not being unreasonable. Your hourly rate represents the value of your time and expertise. Yours sister’s friend made her decision not to use you after you kindly offered your services. That’s on her. Your sister needn’t have made that hurtful comment about you sitting on the sofa all night while you babysit, either. But that’s just sisters for you. I have one and we might come out with some crap like that to each other at times (when we should be building each other up, like you and your sis) but we love each other really. Just draw a line and say you want to put this unpleasant experience behind you. You know your worth and that’s that.

I'm glad you told her your rates upfront so you didn't get underpaid in the end!

@Djifunrsn

The friend has been very stupid. A childcare professional who is the sister of one of her friends - a fantastic option for a worry free night out.

This.

Ignore them both, OP.

Maybe the friend has been paying a random 15 year old a lot less to babysit. Maybe she’s chancing her arm.

But her attitude straight out of the gate makes her sound like this would just be just the start of unreasonable issues. I can just imagine her coming home late, not enough cash, “will owe it to you” etc etc.

Agree with others that you should bump your rates, too.