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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My sister has said I've made things awkward but I disagree

360 replies

Robinson89 · 14/10/2021 17:36

I worked in child care for over 10 years, mainly as a nanny, and although I've changed professions completely now, I still occasionally babysit for some families during evenings and weekends. My rate is £10ph and has been for the last few years.

Last week my sisters friend (I don't know her personally) asked if I'd be interested in babysitting her children occasionally. I said yes and told her to pass my number on and let her know to ring me if she had any questions. Yesterday I received a text from the friend asking if I could babysit this upcoming weekend as she wanted to go on a night out for her friends birthday. It would be for around 6 hours until 11:30pm. I told her no problem, asked for her address and explained that my rate was £10. She replied shortly after explaining that she was looking to pay around £8.50 as that is all she could afford. I sent a polite text back to say I understood her position, but unfortunately my rate was £10 and it is what I charge all my families. I said if she changed her mind then to let me know and I'd happily babysit for her.

I never heard anything about it again until my sister phoned me this morning to say that her friend was really disappointed that she couldn't go on her night out and why would I expect £10 for basically putting the kids to bed and sitting on the sofa watching tv all night Hmm. I have no idea why my sister is even entertaining this, and frankly I'm a bit hurt. It has nothing to do with the fact that I'd be sat watching the tv whilst the kids are in bed. It's the fact that I'm giving up my weekend (I work full time myself) to babysit her children and not being able to spend time in my own home with my own family. I'm not desperate for the money so my down time is really important to me. I'm also a qualified trained professional who knows what to do in the event of an emergency. AIBU?

OP posts:
ellyeth · 15/10/2021 20:40

On the face of it, I thought £60 was a pretty good deal for mostly watching TV. However, when you explained that you would be giving up your Saturday night with your family, I agree that you should be able to charge the rate you normally do. Also, a teenager or other non-professional person would not necessarily have the skills to deal with an emergency.

Really your sister should have told her friend what your hourly rate was and not implied (which it's possible she did) that you might take a lesser amount. If your sister was so concerned about it, perhaps she could have either done the babysitting herself or offered to make up the difference in the hourly rate.

browneyes77 · 15/10/2021 20:40

@BestZebbie

As an adult £8.50 is under the current NMW - which makes it especially cheeky given it is a weekend evening and you are experienced.
Literally came here to say this!

She’s got a cheek expecting you to give up your weekend and not even pay you the minimum legal rate.

CrankyFrankie · 15/10/2021 20:43

£10 p/h is the going rate where I live.

Beautybunny · 15/10/2021 20:45

Just a chancer. I woukd have loved you. Pigging cheek.

violetbunny · 15/10/2021 20:50

The actual rate is irrelevant. The point is, it's up to the OP to charge whatever makes it wort her while. No one has to accept it, they can take it or leave it if they think it's too expensive.

pregnantncnc · 15/10/2021 21:12

I was often paid more than £10ph to babysit as a uni student (my actual rate was £8ph but families would often round up/tip as I somehow managed to get on good terms with a set of families at a nearby prep school which was bloody fantastic for me ahaha), with a lot of casual experience and first aid training - but clearly not a professional! YANBU, OP!!

madisonbridges · 15/10/2021 21:20

Diverging slightly, how does a person get onto these babysitting rotas Do you do it through FB? Or is it by word of mouth? Thanks.

blueshoes · 15/10/2021 21:24

@someofusdontknowwhy

She was quibbling over £9? If her budget is that tight that £9 is the difference between a night out or not then I think she needs to look at her priorities
This.

She can afford it, just refuses to pay an extra £9. CF

PearlyShamps · 15/10/2021 22:03

She could have just gone out for five hours instead of six, bringing childcare costs within her budget. She was not prepared to compromise on her night out, but wanted YOU to compromise your hourly rate! Blummin cheek!! YANBU

cherish123 · 15/10/2021 22:14

@PearlyShamps agreed - hadn't thought of this but you are right.

Also agree with those who say - if your sister is that bothered, she could offer to do it. What's more, you should suggest it to her.

iguanadonna · 15/10/2021 22:20

It was already 10 quid an hour 12 years ago! In fact I was paid 5 pounds an hour 28 years ago when I was a daft 14 year old.

daisypond · 15/10/2021 22:23

On the face of it, I thought £60 was a pretty good deal for mostly watching TV.

How is it a good deal? It’s a terrible deal. It’s not even national minimum wage.

eastegg · 15/10/2021 22:33

Not rtft but surely instead of cancelling the whole thing she could have gone out for a shorter time eg from 7 instead of 5.30, and saved money right there. Who needs to start a night out at 5.30?

I’m sorry OP, really shit of your sister and friend to stir things up like this.

BeautifulBirds · 15/10/2021 22:37

£10 an hour!!

I think you undercharge!

daisypond · 15/10/2021 22:44

[quote DemBonesDemBones]@Dutch1e I have been with most of my families so long that they do pay me quite a bit more. But if it was a new customer and I said my rates were £10 I'd expect them to laugh-that's just not realistic around here and I live in a very naice village in Berkshire! [/quote]
You’re being taken advantage of, naice village or not - actually, especially as it’s a naice Berkshire village. My unqualified teen gets more than that, and she has several families she babysits for - not in a naice Berkshire village either.

CarolinaInMyMind · 15/10/2021 22:47

The arrogance and entitlement to your (i.e. womens time) when it comes to care work is staggering. You did not make things awkward, she did. Good for you OP.

flashy44 · 15/10/2021 22:48

That was a very reasonable rate,so yes you were right to stick to your guns over it,if your sister was that miffed for her friend missing out on a night out she should have babysat herself.Your sister was out of order

exaltedwombat · 15/10/2021 22:51

I thought babysitting was more about bunging £25 to a teenager, not a 'living wage' sort of job?

But anyway, you quoted a price, she refused it. And you only wanted £10 more than her offer. Hardly a make-or-break.

poppy101010 · 15/10/2021 22:53

Definitely not being unreasonable! If she can afford her night out , she can afford to pay you the correct date of pay !

KayKayWat · 15/10/2021 23:00

Bet she doesn't go to the salon and tell them they need to knock £9 off!

Graphista · 15/10/2021 23:02

I'm betting sister has implied that as she's related to you and the potential customer is her friend there'd be "mates rates" involved, she may have even overtly said so WITHOUT checking this with you first - and now friend is taking issue with what she implied/said

All of which - not your problem!

I'm a former nanny and childminder and cheeky fuckery around childcare and babysitting is something I've had to deal with too and you do have to stick to your guns or you could end up being a right mug!

Various "trades" from electricians to as a pp said lawyers get people assuming they can hire those who do these jobs at a massively discounted rate to do a professional job

My aunt was a forensic accountant "by trade" she had certain people giving it "can you just give my taxes a once over" as it it's a 20 minute quick job! When the kind of people asking usually hadn't kept all their receipts or up to date records and it would have taken WEEKS to sort out!

Cousin is an electrician he gets this all the time too "can you just...for a tenner" not only taking piss out of him but in many cases what they're asking him to do isn't safe or legal and could cost him his registration and ultimately livelihood!

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 16/10/2021 00:41

@madisonbridges

Diverging slightly, how does a person get onto these babysitting rotas Do you do it through FB? Or is it by word of mouth? Thanks.
Mine have been word of mouth but I used to work as a nanny, so I knew a lot of young families.
CuriousCassie · 16/10/2021 00:44

YANBU. If your sister feels this is reasonable pay for the hours, she could surely help her friend out herself? It's nothing to do with you

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 16/10/2021 00:47

Literally had the same experience as OP although it was SIL who recommended me to her friend. Friend expected me to travel quite a long distance for the job and also lower my rate. It was a NO.

I charge 13ph with a minimum of 2 hours. If it's till after midnight, client pays for my taxi home.
Sundays are time & half.
YANBU.

madisonbridges · 16/10/2021 04:40

@Treesandsheepeverywhere. Thanks for letting me know. I don't have those contacts so that won't work for me. But £13ph, do you ever need a stand in whilst you're on holiday?