If you were left £450k inheritance, would you give your adult children something?

[Jinnybean]

Mil has been left a large sum. She’s always said that she will give Dh £10k.

It’s been nearly a year and she hasn’t mentioned it at all. We know she had the money a month ago.

I can’t imagine having that much money are not helping my children/grandchildren out. She is mortgage free.

Would you help your Dc out?

Yes, or put a significant chunk in trust for younger children. That being said, I wouldn't directly give them anything if I knew they were going to piss it up the wall - instead I might wait until I could see it was needed, then offer to pay it directly into something significant i.e. house deposit/mortgage payment/whatever so it never actually hit their bank accounts. I know lots of people who have been gifted large chunks of money and have absolutely fuck all to show for it and I can see why parents/relations would be unwilling to give any more in that situation.

@Jinnybean

Thank you everyone. His funeral was this morning. My sister bought us all a rose each so we could put it on his coffin.

That sounds lovely

I would but my mother wouldn't (and didn't).

I think the older generation has more of a hoarding mentality.

If she only had the money a month ago, she may still be sorting things out. It can be complicated.

Just ask her about it. It's only been a month.

Her money, she can do what she wants!

And yes of course I would give money to my adult DC, more than £10k as well, if I were mortgage-free.

Ooh and interesting thread! My dad will be in this position soon. Mortgage free, already retired and holidaying anywhere and anytime he likes. Meanwhile his daughter drives a banger that is unreliable and struggles to make ends meet. I still don't think he'll give me anything though

My parents didn’t but they were depending on the lump sum for their old age and didn’t have good pensions. They also retired early. They are generous towards me in general however. And always treat me to holidays and meals out when I see them so they have spent a lot on me over the years.

We would have trouble stopping my dad giving it all away! He would also do a deed of variation to the original will to leave the money in a more tax efficient way.

Very sorry for your loss op.

Regarding MIL maybe she is seeing a financial advisor or something like that before dealing with what she will do with the money. Give her a bit of time. I remember when my Granddad passed away it took an age to get the £1000 he left me. She might be sitting financial things first. Perhaps give her the benefit of the doubt. Xxx

I’m so sorry for your loss. This is a really tough time for you and of course you will think about what your MIL said last year especially when your own dear Dad had nothing.
Inheritance is always awkward. Hopefully once your MIL has sorted herself out she will follow through on her promise. If she doesn’t I’m afraid you have to just let it go so it doesn’t eat you up inside.

Yanbu to ask if other people would.
I would if given that amount, especially if I were older and had already paid off my mortgage etc.

Yabu a bit expecting anything, even if she did say she would. I wouldn’t get into it with her, just wait and see what she does. A month isn’t that long to have waited if she’s only had the money herself that long. Don’t forget that money represents her fathers life.

Only if there was something left when I died 😂

I gave both of mine a deposit for a house each. It is what my parents would have wanted. I can now live my life without feeling that I should be putting money aside for my will. They will get my house and any money that I haven't spent. Simples.

My mother got inheritance - over £150k. GPs wanted all grandchildren to have some of it - my mother kept it all for herself. Make sure you are very specific in your will who you want estate to go to

@Insertcreativenamehere

My mother got inheritance - over £150k. GPs wanted all grandchildren to have some of it - my mother kept it all for herself. Make sure you are very specific in your will who you want estate to go to

Ooft savage 😳

I would keep half of the money and my husband but the other half would go to my children and grandchildren. In fact, have already given out almost half of it.

I would add, though, that if I were in a situation where I had no home of my own and very little capital, I would sort that out first.

My Dad did, but he was executor of the will and decided to make the changes to gift enough to me and my DSis to avoid the tax, not expected but lovely surprise which helped pay off my mortgage

@Insertcreativenamehere

My mother got inheritance - over £150k. GPs wanted all grandchildren to have some of it - my mother kept it all for herself. Make sure you are very specific in your will who you want estate to go to

If your grandparents really wanted to leave the money to GCs, they could and should have done so. The fault is with your GPs, not your mum tbh.

I think a lot of older people make vague promises while they were alive that they don't honour in their wills - some people promise the same money to several different relatives!

Nope. I would keep it for me. If the person who left it to me had wanted my children to have it, they would have left them something.

Yes, we did just that, but made giving them the money conditional on it going into a house purchase.

@toastfiend

Yes, or put a significant chunk in trust for younger children. That being said, I wouldn't directly give them anything if I knew they were going to piss it up the wall - instead I might wait until I could see it was needed, then offer to pay it directly into something significant i.e. house deposit/mortgage payment/whatever so it never actually hit their bank accounts. I know lots of people who have been gifted large chunks of money and have absolutely fuck all to show for it and I can see why parents/relations would be unwilling to give any more in that situation.

If you trust someone so little that you don't even want the money to hit their bank account for fear of them pissing it away on something else, why on earth are you giving them any money at all?

There's nothing to stop them selling the asset when they have it, either you trust them or you don't.

@LittleMysSister

I think it depends. My DP's parents are very open with giving money and immediately gave him and his brother a chunk when they inherited upon his nan's death last year.

However my own parents talk a lot about what we'll get when they're gone but never gift us money. In fairness, they haven't inherited anything in my adult life, but my mum has quite a bit in savings and has never been forthcoming even when my sister and I were buying our first homes, and more recently when my sister has been planning her wedding, though they did give some in the end.

I just think some prefer to sit on it until they can pass it on themselves in a will and it won't effect them.

Such a silly attitude to sit on it until they're gone, so much will go in Inheritance Tax