If you were left £450k inheritance, would you give your adult children something?

[Jinnybean]

Mil has been left a large sum. She’s always said that she will give Dh £10k.

It’s been nearly a year and she hasn’t mentioned it at all. We know she had the money a month ago.

I can’t imagine having that much money are not helping my children/grandchildren out. She is mortgage free.

Would you help your Dc out?

[Cruiser11]

LoisLane66 my stocks snd shares ISA has gone up 4K since feb so not too bad. I’ve withdrawn the 4K.

[TheJade]

If it was from one of my parents and they hadn’t specifically left anything to my children then yes, I would.

When my mum dies she has already told
Em she is just leaving me half of everything - other half to go to my sister. And it’s up to me if I chose to give to my kiddos x

[Knickynackynoo]

My Mother wouldn't I know that for certain!

[pteradactyl]

I absolutely would yes. But I suppose your MIL is under no obligation to, even if she said she would, but its not very nice. What is she like usually? I ask as my fiancé's mum said she would give him some inheritance she received and 8 years later, nothing. She isn't the nicest person though so it wasn't altogether unexpected.

[Knickynackynoo]

And yes she is under no obligation, I've only ever asked for help once and it was given gladly but a penny else has ever been offered and we're fine with that like the PP said it is her money and ages under no obligation.

[Scottsy100]

When both my parents remaining parents died they gave me and my 2 siblings something even if it wasn’t very big amounts they were left after care bills etc, we all received something I don’t think they would ever have imagined not too. Had it been something like 450k I imagine the sum they would have given us would have been considerably larger, not that any of us would have ever dreamed of asking for anything but I can’t imagine that they wouldn’t have given us it

[Owl55]

Maybe as she inherited this money because of bereavement she is not ready to enjoy the money and share it when she’s ready. She is still grieving!!!!

[Miisty]

Yes I would give them some The taxman will only get their hands on it .My son it would be wasted unless it stipulated flat only he is vulnerable and him friends(so called)would prey on him My daughters no problem My mother promised us money got eaten up with care home fees feel quite bitter as we definitely could have used it

[Harmonypuss]

Yes, I definitely would give my sons something but i wouldn't tell them until I was actually transferring the cash because I would like it to be a surprise, not something they would expect.

[Topsyturveymam]

If I was comfortably well off, I’d pass through. I might want to ask that it’s used on something of substance - house deposit, put in trust for the grandchildren etc.
I wouldn’t want to hold onto it …on the basis that they may not receive it as passed through inheritance.

[WhenWillISleepThroughTheNight]

Yes I would. Adult children tend to still have mortgages and young families of their own.
So long as they weren't drug addicts, I'd share.

[diddl]

"My mother promised us money got eaten up with care home fees feel quite bitter as we definitely could have used it"

Perhaps as well she kept it then if she needed it?

[Gilly12345]

Perhaps she has a will and family members will inherit when she has passed away?

[VestaTilley]

YABU and grabby. Maybe she intends to leave it as an inheritance.

Unless you know that she’s got a huge pension pot then maybe she needs the money to fund her own retirement, or maybe she has debts you know nothing about. Or maybe she wants to spend it all on holidays in her twilight years - good for her if so.

Perhaps she’s just waiting for you to politely ask - have you done so?

I am saving for my DS, and I like to think I would help him out in adulthood if he needed it, but it depends on NEED - if I desperately needed money for my retirement, and he already had a house and a good job, I might assume he didn’t need it.

In your shoes I would get DH to ask once if it would be possible to have the £10k that was promised, and if she says no then let it go.

Do you know she has the money and it’s not still tied up in probate?

[Billandben444]

If she's already offered 10k then I'd leave it another month and her son could say - 'have you had any more thoughts on that 10k?' . Then drop it.

[Morgan12]

I'd be giving more than 10k.
If my mum got 450k she would give me 200k.

Everyone's different I suppose.

If my inlaws got 450k they would give DH nothing probably.

[Lanique]

Of course I would.

[ohmyohmy123]

My mum inherited £1000. Not a lot of money but she gave it all to my brother who needed it at the time. The rest of us siblings were happy that she gave it to him as we didn't need it.

If I had that level of inheritance I'd split it between my children. My husband on the other hand would give them a small amount and keep the rest for their inheritance when he dies (we've talked about it a lot as he's set to inherit quite a bit from his parents). He thinks the children should make their own way initially - despite inheriting himself from his grandparents enabling him to get on the property ladder so he's a bit hypercritical.

[Bugbabe1970]

My husband will inherit from his dad one day. We have discussed what we will do with the inheritance. The kids will get a lump sum to put a deposit for a house down but they will not be given money to just fritter away. PIL worked damn hard for that money and it won't be wasted.

[Bugbabe1970]

OP I can understand how you feel as it sounds you are struggling financially
Maybe MIL hasn't given the mo eh because she doesn't want it spent on your fathers funeral. That sounds harsh I k ow but it was up to your dad to prepare for his funeral and unfortunately that burden has fallen on you.
Sorry for your loss.

[YouTubeAddict]

What on Earth is she going to spend it all on? DH’s Nan is like this. A millionaire but tighter than a Duck’s arse. Personally if it were me id love to see my family enjoying some money.

Oh and by the way, I think that £10k is quite miserly. Unless she’s she 20 kids!

[YouTubeAddict]

*she’s got

[BumblePan]

I would absolutely share it.
Unfortunately, my cousin was in a similiar situation as the OP.
Her mum made promises to share an inheritance. Mum felt good about herself, told friends she was sharing with the children, but said nothing when the money arrived in her bank. Nothing was disturbed and others were left believing she was great helping out her family.
Luckily, my cousin made no financial decisions on the basis of that money, as her mum had form for empty grand gestures.

[SinisterBumFacedCat]

I will never understand why parents do this, why pretend to intend to give money to your own children and then don’t follow through? On your own children? I don’t understand. I could never ever do that to my children.

[Autumnbaths]

Will you be offering to look after her in her old age - or does she need the money to go towards care? She should not have mentioned the £10k if she was not going to give it but it's her money.