To think it's not right to charge adult children rent to live at home

[Hdhshxhs]

I have a few friends who charge their adult DC rent to live at home.

I personally find this very strange, no matter their age my children will always be my children and welcome in my home without any expectation of money.

I think aswell with it being so hard for young people to get on the housing ladder these days one of the only ways they can is to live at home rent free so they can save for a deposit.

AIBU?

@Hdhshxhs

Not sure how it's a stealth boast. It doesn't make sense to me that youd have children but the second they turn 18 you can't afford to have them around anymore

Mine pays towards the car insurance and petrol as she also drives the car. If adults children are earning they should contribute. Some parents save money from their children and give it back when they move out. Some families lose child benefit when their children leave school and start work so they need a bit of money towards bills. Maybe you think this is wrong, but that is your view. Noone is saying you have to do it with your kids.

@CounsellorTroi

How will they learn to manage their money and budget if they don’t pay rent?

This, this, a thousand times this, @CounsellorTroi.

My parents were in no way wealthy, but gave me money any time I needed or asked for it.
Clothes, a car, petrol, paid for uni, and worked the whole time I was in school. Mum a teacher, Dad, in farming.

As a result, I had absolutely no idea how to budget or manage my money or to put groceries above that fabulous pair of shoes I saw… Shameful. I cringe when I look back.

I was a mess in the money dept. It took me years of failure before I finally became successful at being responsible and as I look back I’m so ashamed.

My parents definitely should’ve raised me to be more responsible instead of making it so easy to be irresponsible, even though they did it out of love. They were raised during the Depression, and wanted us to have everything they didn’t.

You're not really charging rent even when you say you are. Almost no child is paying rent AND their fair share of expenses. Really the money they give is just covering their part of the council tax, electricity and food isn't it?

I have 1 in education, 1 earning. The earning one gives me 1/3 of net pay. This is because I pay everything for non earning one, and also have continued to do so for earning one.. I’m talking holidays, car, travel Money, lunches, takeaways, meals out, shopping trips, phones. So in effect, this is given back. I wouldn’t be happy with a climate of ‘ I’m paying for me and DS, you’re earning and can get your own’. They are contributing to household expenses, of which they are one of the major expenses

Soon as I started working I payed £50 a week to help with things and I'd occasionally buy the food shop and I would at least twice a month treat my parents to meals out/take aways.
I didn't see this as any problem as it was still cheaper paying that than it was getting my own place and gave me time to actually save money up for when I was ready to move out.

@changeyourname11111

(Also a single parent and in an admin job, with three dc)

That's exactly my situation and exactly what I do!

And not straight out of uni either...they are allowed a time when they're deciding what to do/looking for work and when they are more settled then a contribution that covers some of their food, council tax etc.

I probably won’t charge my daughter but have no issue if others want to.

My son who is 21 gives me an allowance weekly which helps towards bills. If they have money it is only right they have to learn that nothing is free. It is not a lot but it makes him realize how much things cost. Not everyone is loaded. He offered to help as knew things were tight.

Most parents who charge DC rent, charge far, far less than it would cost to rent a room. On top of that, they don't pay bills, they get cooked meals, cleaning and even laundry done. If you have a young professional at home,they should 'want' to contribute at least something.

I think it would benefit them in the long run to be paying a small amount of rent now. If you’re that concerned about taking the Money from them then you could pop it in a savings account and give it back to them when they come to move out.

I will 100% charge my children rent when they’re older and earning money so it prepares them for their future but I’ll save it and give it back to them when needed.

I have a 22 yo loving at home.

They pay £130 per month which includes their mobile, all food and bills. I think they're getting a bargain to live in a nice house with their own ensuite.

I'm a single mum, so I think they should help out where they can.

I agree with OP.
Maybe if your child is a Premier League footballer - then fair enough. But if they are teenagers on their first part-time job - that's grabby and immoral.

I'm on a decent pension and my 23 Yr DD has just returned home. While she looked for work I supported her totally, but now I will charge her 60 per week, to be reviewed. This is not rent, but her 'keep' and includes insurance etc. for her car I think it is very unwise to not even charge for food, it's treating them like an infant. Having said that I did support my son for too long, he was unwell. However I do think I (and his father) contributed to him not supporting himself much of the time, I do regret that.

@Properjob

I'm on a decent pension and my 23 Yr DD has just returned home. While she looked for work I supported her totally, but now I will charge her 60 per week, to be reviewed. This is not rent, but her 'keep' and includes insurance etc. for her car I think it is very unwise to not even charge for food, it's treating them like an infant. Having said that I did support my son for too long, he was unwell. However I do think I (and his father) contributed to him not supporting himself much of the time, I do regret that.

Why isn't she paying her own car insurance?

My kids are only little so maybe I'll change my mind, but currently I believe they will always be welcome in the family home, whatever age!

However, if they choose to stay after 18, or return home later in life for more than a holiday or emergency short trip, I will ask them to contribute to the food and bills - amount depending on their earnings, so they can learn to pay their way and understand costs etc... and can contribute, as adults, to the family costs. I'd do this even if I was a millionaire because I think it's good learning and considerate for an adult child to contribute.

My parents would never have asked me for rent for living in my family home. I have no problems with managing money as an adult, bit patronising to suggest that not paying your family rent means you don't know the value of money

Do they pay for their poll tax at least?

@Owl55

Do they pay for their poll tax at least?

Only if they have a time machine.

This

Poll tax, blimey that takes me back

@1FootInTheRave

Op, you have less than 100 quid left after you've paid bills so clearly not well off. I'd argue pretty poor tbh.

What kind of adult leeches of their own mother when she has so little. Pretty disgusting imo.

This

Once my children are both 18 I will lose £750 a month in loss of tax credits/maintenance/child benefit. If they wish to stay living at home I would need then to contribute to food and a small part of the council tax/utilities. It would certainly be a lot cheaper than renting privately but I couldn't afford to carry them unfortunately. If I could afford it then I would of course help them, but a reduced rate roof over their heads is all I will be able to manage. They need to understand if they are no longer in education they need to get jobs and pay their way in life.

I personally think that adult children who are living at home and working full time should pay something, especially if the parents don't have a lot of money.

That being said I do think that parents should not be using their kids' to finance their lifestyle

Charging your child enough to cover costs? Fine.

Charging your child enough that you are laughing all the way to the bank and they are struggling? No.

Mine contributed whilst they were living at home and earning. Why not? If they moved out into accommodation they’d have to pay.
Their contributions went towards heating and electricity. I shared the bills so they could see the cost.
When their food requirements didn’t fit with what I was cooking, they paid for their food too. It was funny how they suddenly wanted to eat food they’d moaned about when younger rather than buy their own.

You have completely missed the point. It’s teaching them about life.