To think it's not right to charge adult children rent to live at home

[Hdhshxhs]

I have a few friends who charge their adult DC rent to live at home.

I personally find this very strange, no matter their age my children will always be my children and welcome in my home without any expectation of money.

I think aswell with it being so hard for young people to get on the housing ladder these days one of the only ways they can is to live at home rent free so they can save for a deposit.

AIBU?

When my kids are grown up my plan is to charge them rent as it doesn’t do them any favours to have a larger amount of money then miss it when they no longer get to live rent free. I will however be putting it in a savings account for them for when they buy their own property.

I think ideally I'd charge some ££ and put some away for them and some towards their phone bill etc.

I know for a fact that once some families lose child benefit/tax credits and then they won't afford to live.

Also, what about people who wish to downsize to reduce living costs. Should they stay there forever and let adult children live there free? We'll still have 18 years on this mortgage when our oldest is 18.

Your children should respect the time, effort and costs of providing a home for them to live in and making a contribution towards those running costs should be expected.

It teaches respect, it teaches discipline and the value of money. Otherwise, they think only of themselves and spend all their money on themselves, and that is not a good trait to allow to germinate within very young adults who are still young and impressionable.

This should happen regardless of household budget

Yes they should pay their way, one day you will be dead and they will need to live in the real world

In am wondering if you with still have this frame of mind when your kids are say mid to late twenties with no incentive to move out.
I have a 16 yr old and a 20 year old and they both help me out, l didn't even have to ask my youngest, he offered and he only has a part time job in a supermarket. We are part of a team, not each man for his own, l was widowed young , and they have seen me working all hours ,hanging on to this house by the skin of my teeth. They will also benefit from this house one day in the future.
If you don't need the money, all well and good, but not everyone is in same situation.

If They’re working why shouldn’t they pay ? They would have to pay up if they lived elsewhere
I actually think if you don’t need the money then the child’s contribution should be put in an account so they can have it when they (finally) leave
Mine will be/ are charged a percentage of their wages

It’s also about fairness to other children. One child at home - rent free. The other lives away for work and has to pay rent. Why should one be subsidised and not the other?
We got round that by charging them a little below the cost of a room in a shared house (checked on spare rooms.com). When they moved out we shared the money equally among all children.
That’s because we could afford it. If we couldn’t we would have charged them just the same but kept the money.

Paid 'board' from age of 16 because I worked full time. This was a (necessary) contribution to the family income. Normal in My world. I was on the same wage as my dad at 18 so to expect him to subsidise me would be ridiculous.

I find it really odd that adults who are earning money wouldn't pay their way! What if you have 2 working adult children in their 30s living with parents who are pensioners. You'd expect the pensioners to pay for everything while the adult children contribute nothing? I think if the adult children are working full time then it's only right and decent that they contribute to the cost of their food, heating, electricity etc.

If they are living there full time then I think adult children should contribute to the household somehow. If they can afford to financially because they work then that to a point if they can't I would be expecting them to help with housework/meals/laundry etc.

They need to learn the value of money

@Hdhshxhs
We ask our 3 (all working full time ) kids for a 200 pounds a month contribution each.
They don't save any of their money that they earn and the spend it all on going out - meals out- drinks - and festivals and expensive clothes. I'm working full time as is my partner - we get by (more than) ok. But with the kids all being over 20 I feel like it's only fair they contribute. It would be different I think if we saw them saving for a deposit on a house ..

I think everyone’s different and there’s no right or wrong. My Dad asked me to pay some towards the bills/food once I was working full time. 1, my mum died when young so he was supporting my sister and I himself. 2, It prepared us for when we eventually moved out and how to budget money.

If, when my DS is an adult and we are as healthy financially as we are now. I’d ask him to contribute when working full time and then give him the money back when he buys his own house.

If I collected rent from my kids I'd put as much as possible into a savings account for them and keep it for when they need it. It's a good life lesson for adult kids to budget and not have all of their income to spend.

I don’t charge rent because we don’t need the money and DD does, with the ridiculous cost of housing. She is saving for a flat, already has £20k but still not enough. Crazy. We didn’t have to deal with this shit, of course we feel bad the housing market is so ridiculous for young people, so no way are we taking money off her. Different if we needed it to pay our bills, but we don’t.

What is the point of this thread? We're all different and all organise our lives differently.

When I was young I would earn pocket money by helping out around the house and helped with my younger siblings.
When I started work, I gave my parents money every month towards food, bills etc. Once I bought my own home it made me realised how little they asked for but because they weren't well off it really helped towards the running of the house.
Now I have my own children they help with chores and earn a little bit of money.

My son earns more than me and has a hefty deposit as well as loads of shares. He has far more disposable income than I do. I think it sets them up for a fall to not charge them anything and he would never move out. I always thought I wouldn't charge anything but it doesn't do them any favours with regards to getting used to paying their way. My son eats more than two adults and uses loads of electric, as well as being the second adult in the home, meaning I pay more council tax. He pays £250 pm but it would cost him at least £1k to live the way he does....it is a bargain. Even if I was rolling in money I would do the same. I don't understand why you would be in a position of only having £100 spare and your child (adult) probably significantly more to blow on anything they like. If my son moved out, my costs would significantly reduce. He has £2k left after paying me! It's not a one size fits all

The minimum wage full time is around £1200 a month. I find it hard to believe you were getting £1200 in tax credits and child benefit a month.

I’ve vowed never to charge my kids rent. My mum had no mortgage and didn’t work (she got the house in her divorce) and I paid her £700 a month rent. I also bought my own food, cleaned the entire house every weekend. Did all our washing and cooked my own meals. She never did a thing to help me and in actual fact, when I said I was moving out, she charged me £50 a more for two months as she said she wouldn’t have my rent anymore and needed the extra money.

I begrudge her so much for it, especially when friends were charged £50-£100 a month.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. I’ll never expect it off mine. I would however expect them to provide themselves with food and clothing and spending money.

After reading the responses here, I think it’s important to note what you mean by “rent.” You said your kids pay for their own cars and phones. So I’m assuming you pay all utilities, entertainment in the way of television and/or WiFi, and for food? I agree that it depends on the situation. My 32 YO actor son returned home after being jilted by his wife of one year. We gave him a year to recover, and now are asking for $400 US dollars a month. Prior to that he was saving unemployment, working a job (that allowed him to continue to collect unemployment) and had the use of one of our cars and had everything else paid for. We were quite pleased with his progress, and felt it was time for him to start contributing. He just quite his job serving, and is looking for other work online. We are both retired schoolteachers, with an 18 year old son at home as well, and we will probably have to require that he start paying more to cover the cost of wear and tear on the car, utilities, and food. This will encourage him to realize that he needs to find (consistent) work as promptly as possible, so that he can eventually move back out on his own again. We may have him begin paying about $100 more each month until he eventually reaches a fair contribution as a working member of the family. We might change that requirement if he goes back to school to get a degree that gives him more job options. He has expressed that he doesn’t want to live with us indefinitely, and we want to honor that wish. Young birds need to fly the nest eventually, he came back to it wounded, now he’s almost healed so it’s time to up the ante.

@HarrietsChariot

It's pretty scummy behaviour to charge your children rent. You're the one who decided to have them, therefore they are your responsibility. You can't just think "they're 18 now, time to cash in!"

There can be an argument that a child should be allowed to pay rent if the parent is struggling and the child wants to help, but it should not be expected or demanded and the parent should have exhausted all other avenues of income first.

This is very funny.. bless you for bringing humour to the Thread... hahaaaaa

@Nosleepingclub

I’ve vowed never to charge my kids rent. My mum had no mortgage and didn’t work (she got the house in her divorce) and I paid her £700 a month rent. I also bought my own food, cleaned the entire house every weekend. Did all our washing and cooked my own meals. She never did a thing to help me and in actual fact, when I said I was moving out, she charged me £50 a more for two months as she said she wouldn’t have my rent anymore and needed the extra money.

I begrudge her so much for it, especially when friends were charged £50-£100 a month.

WOW... that a massive amount you were paying... jesus no wonder you loathe her....

I don't charge my two adult sons rent - they wouldn't be able to afford it. I do charge them a contribution towards food, broadband, energy costs etc.