To think it's not right to charge adult children rent to live at home

[Hdhshxhs]

I have a few friends who charge their adult DC rent to live at home.

I personally find this very strange, no matter their age my children will always be my children and welcome in my home without any expectation of money.

I think aswell with it being so hard for young people to get on the housing ladder these days one of the only ways they can is to live at home rent free so they can save for a deposit.

AIBU?

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss child benefit yes but what about the rest? For me it'll be money from her dad, child element of UC and child benefit. Also the council tax discount for being a single adult. All in all I'll lose about £650 a month

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

Can you really not understand that when child benefit stops the 18 year old effectively costs you more as you have less money coming in. Even if you have no financial worries you can't possibly be ignorant of the fact that huge numbers of families do

Child benefit is about £80 a month, most parents spend more than that on lunches and travel to college etc. Those costs stop so it likely equals out.
Our bills and mortgage would be the same with or without them here bar the food one.
Children do cost money though, it’s a known fact before deciding to have them. I don’t expect others or the children themselves to provide for the costs for something I chose. They will have many years of supporting themselves when they leave home, I’d rather they save and get on the property ladder whilst they have no responsibilities.

But they are no longer children then can support themselves. You choose to support them fair enough but not everyone can afford to nor should they have to .

My 23yr old is here now having finished uni. He has a job but I haven't yet charged him anything. It will take 3 pay packets for him to clear his student overdraft and we have agreed that in January he will start to pay his share of the bills.

He uses more electric/gas/water than us, he eats more than us and, most Importantly, he has paid his own way at Uni for the past 3yrs. There is no reason on earth that he shouldn't pay his way here too. Otherwise he's going to get a massive shock when he moves out.

So he will pay 200 a month which will go towards the utilities and his share of 'communal' items such as cleaning/washing stuff etc. If he likes what I cook he can eat with us if he doesn't he can buy his own.

Even if I was wealthy I would make him pay his way.

"but not everyone can afford to nor should they have to."

For me, it's not even about being able to afford it or not. I just firmly believe it is a valuable life lesson (for want of a better term) that young adults contribute towards their living costs.

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

Can you really not understand that when child benefit stops the 18 year old effectively costs you more as you have less money coming in. Even if you have no financial worries you can't possibly be ignorant of the fact that huge numbers of families do

Child benefit is about £80 a month, most parents spend more than that on lunches and travel to college etc. Those costs stop so it likely equals out.
Our bills and mortgage would be the same with or without them here bar the food one.
Children do cost money though, it’s a known fact before deciding to have them. I don’t expect others or the children themselves to provide for the costs for something I chose. They will have many years of supporting themselves when they leave home, I’d rather they save and get on the property ladder whilst they have no responsibilities.

Child benefit is about £80 a month but child tax credits could be several hundred pounds more a, month, child maintenance isnt a benefit but it also could be several hundred a month can you really not see how that would equate to a, huge losz of money per month for some parents?

What about charging them rent but secretly saving it for them for when they want to move out? I'll be doing that if my DC ever work full time and live at home still.

I would consider it completely normal for adults to contribute to their parents house. If I had to go 'home,' due to life taking a turn, I would be handing over a couple of hundred quid at the least.

It totally depends on the situation. Adult dc just out of uni, finding feet is massively different to a 35 year old who is earning a good salary. Also situation of the parents massively vary.

I paid my mum £400 a month from the minute I got my first salary payment. This went on for a good 8 years until I left home and even then, and to this day, I still put £400 into her account each month I've been left home for 20 years. We were very poor growing up and I like to know she has money to pay for things she wants.

I'm really glad my parents charged me tent - I got used to paying bills and not having my whole income for myself. I also saved money because I could better understand the value of it.

DHs parents didn't charge him rent and he didn't save a penny and really struggled to budget when he moved out as he was used to a bigger disposable income. Lots of my friends who hadn't paid rent had the same issue. Even though their parents "made" them save money, none of them actually did in reality.

@MadamMoth

I paid my mum £400 a month from the minute I got my first salary payment. This went on for a good 8 years until I left home and even then, and to this day, I still put £400 into her account each month I've been left home for 20 years. We were very poor growing up and I like to know she has money to pay for things she wants.

You sound lovely

Does the money help her?

Each to their own , we dont need the money so we’ve never charged ours anything , however both of ours are good savers and don’t squander money generally . What I really can’t understand is the taking money off them to save for them , that teaches them nothing , much better to have instilled the sense to save in the first place and get them to do it themselves .

My mum was a lone parent on a fairly low income. When I started working she lost both child maintenance and child tax credits. The £30 per week I paid her dad cover what she'd lost but it helped.
It also taught me a bit of financial responsibility. Showing your privilege that saving for a deposit to buy a property is even a remote possibility at that age. When I was 18 my MUM didn't even own her own home. I finally got on the housing market at 40.

@MadamMoth

That's so lovely

My stepdd is currently living with us, she moved here while at college so we had the full expense of her at uni, now she's 23 why should I still keep paying for everything for her, I'm in my mid fifties, I'd like to retire before I'm 80. I don't make money from her, quite the opposite, I just make her pay towards what she uses, so I provide food, a room, heat, washing machine etc etc for her board.

@MadamMoth

I paid my mum £400 a month from the minute I got my first salary payment. This went on for a good 8 years until I left home and even then, and to this day, I still put £400 into her account each month I've been left home for 20 years. We were very poor growing up and I like to know she has money to pay for things she wants.

You're a lovely daughter

@Hdhshxhs

Not sure how it's a stealth boast. It doesn't make sense to me that youd have children but the second they turn 18 you can't afford to have them around anymore

When your child turns 18 unless you can prove they are staying in full-time education then child benefit stops and tax credits stop regardless. Once your child turns 18 your council tax also increases as their is an additional adult in the house, if you are a single parent this means you lose your single person supplement which is around 25% and any child maintenance if you claim that. So when your child turns 18 your income goes down (potentially significantly) but your bills go up so unless you are fortunate enough to be on a high enough wage that you don’t rely on any of these supplements in any regards then yes its entirely possible that you can go from being able to afford them to not practically overnight. So damn right I’d expect my son as an adult to pay his fair share of gas/electric/food and council tax as all of these would be significantly higher than if I lived alone.

Children do cost money though, it’s a known fact before deciding to have them. I don’t expect others or the children themselves to provide for the costs for something I chose
So where's the line? My twins will be late 20s when I retire, early 20s when their Dad retires. If they've not moved out by then, should I be financially providing for 2 grown men in full time decent paid jobs? Should I delay retirment in case they don't move out until their 30s?

It doesn't make sense to me that youd have children but the second they turn 18 you can't afford to have them around anymore well you live a privileged life if you can't see why losing hundreds in benefits and costing hundreds in other expenses would be an issue for some people even if not for you.

I'm with you OP, I'm always baffled by threads asking how much rent to charge their young adult DC.

My mum & step dad, comfortable financially, charged me rent when I was a full time student. Needless to say we don't have a great relationship now.

[quote Lagomtransplant]@CallmeHendricks

I'm telling you now, NO MATTER WHAT their health situation, I will learn, I will train up, but into a care home they are NOT going if it's the last thing I do.[/quote]
Good luck with that if you are faced with the horror of severe, and then end stage dementia.
You really have no idea.

I charge mine rent and I am lucky enough to be able to save it for them , unknown to them , it’s a life lesson that households don’t run on thin air

Pelosi & YouveGot & TheFormidable

Thanks! Yes the money does help her. She's able to buy nice things for herself and not worry about if she'll not be able to pay the bills because of it. I love seeing her buy unnecessary things like just a new tea towel or a plant as it brings her joy and we'd never have had those kinds of extras growing up. My dsis is very good to her too.

@allsorts1

My mum & step dad, comfortable financially, charged me rent when I was a full time student. Needless to say we don't have a great relationship now.

why not ?