My daughter doesn’t have a bedroom-is this bad

[Thoseshoulderslookace]

Dd, 3, sleeps in our room/bed, all her toys are downstairs..everywhere, plus in the garden etc. We have one extra bedroom that’s used as a spare room currently for when people come to stay. We’re getting it ready to be her bedroom, but it’s taking so long because it’s so expensive! Saving back a bit each month to decorate it all fully, buy the bed, shelves, chair, rugs, decorations etc etc.
Is it shit that she doesn’t have her own room yet? Feel so bad about it 🥲

Don’t get a toddler bed, especially if money is tight. She will grow out of it before you know it. My son was 3 in june and looks huge in toddler beds.

[quote Thoseshoulderslookace]@alexdgr8 I’m not wanting the best decor and didn’t say I was painting on the wall, but it does obviously need a toddler bed, shelves, carpet, wardrobe, chair, table, done decorations etc[/quote]
It really doesn't!
Neither of my dc had toddler beds, and ds1 went from a cot to a double bed aged 2. We painted his room pale yellow, put up some fun curtains with matching bedding, a few posters and bought a Billy bookcase that had his books and a few toys. Most of his toys stayed downstairs. He didn't have a table and chairs in his room, didn't have a rug. We got a child's wardrobe second hand and a chest of drawers. I can't remember how much everything cost but certainly no more than £300 as we already had the bed.

Just a duvet cover on .some nice child like ones on e bay as well. Some pretty lights. Maybe be careful of too cheap ones though.a little rug and some pictures ,or some of her own artwork even.good to go !

* I really don’t understand why you are prioritising a guest room over your daughter having her own room.*

^This. So in answer to your question OP, yes it is bad.

I'm sure she's not bothered that she's in your room, but really how much does it cost to give the walls a lock of paint and put a new bed in (if you even need a new bed)?

Bit no, a 3 year old doesn't need their own room so it doesn't matter.

Nah she's 3 it's fine

I would give her the double bed. Get bedding that she’ll love, but double beds are harder to fall out of (set her pillows up in the middle) and will be handy for guests as well.

In my experience she’ll remember the bedding and the wall colour and pictures way more than the furbufure.

So if your options are:
-put her in an unfinished room with all of her toys and do it up as you can
-dont do it at all and not give her a room because you can't afford to do it up til whenever that is

I don't know why the second option is more appealing to you? The first sounds infinitely more preferable to me!

Perfect is the enemy of the done.

I’ve got a three year old, she has a lovely bedroom, guess where she sleeps most nights? Virtually on top of me . Kids that age just want to be near their parents, if you don’t mind and she doesn’t mind, there’s no hurry.

@Nefelibata86

I relate to the OP. Is there decision fatigue or perfectionism going on?

Sorry if not the done thing to ask a question in someone else’s thread but what would people suggest doing for a 20m old please? Baby does fall out of bed so I was thinking floor bed or would bed guard be a better bet? Was planning on having the room pretty devoid of furniture so I also wonder when you can have furniture in the room alongside floor bed from a safety p.o.v?

I would still have my 20 month old in a cot, if you were worried about them falling out of bed. There's no hurry to make the transition.

Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.

My 2 yo dd has a gorgeous massive bedroom, beautifully decorated walk in wardrobe etc. she chooses to sleep in our bed every night 😂 don’t feel guilty, most kids would prefer to share with their parents at this age. Enjoy the snuggles

A guest bedroom isn't a necessity when you have a child without a bedroom.

It;'s fine if you want her in your room. It's also fine if she has her own room that's not "decorated". My two sons slept in an empty (decorated and carpeted) room on mattresses on the floor when they were 3 and 6 respectively. They didn't even notice it was strange. It was their room!

@wheresmyshoe

Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.

yes!

I don’t think it matters that she has her own room but she should have her own bed. Can she have a little toddler bed (IKEA) in your room? with her own duvet and teddies

No. My ds has his bed in our room and toys down stairs. He is 2.

My daughter and I shared a bedroom until she was 5. We only stopped because my partner moved in and we moved to a futon in the living room. Don't feel bad. She's really little. In other cultures kids cosleep/share rooms with their parents until they are older than 3. You're doing your best, she's loved and cared for. That's all that's important.

Not at all! My 2 girls have the biggest room in the house, beautifully decorated and full of toys they never play and rarely even sleep in their. I really wouldn't worry, especially that young x

@TheLette

I think you can do it very cheaply if you want to. I've recently done my daughter's bedroom and some of the very cheap / free things I did were:

• frame her artwork or free posters / flyers from museums in cheap IKEA frames (the frames are bright colours and cost £2 or so depending on size).
• you can get reusable wall stickers in the form of multicoloured dots / stars / hearts etc. Cost me £40 for 2 packs but instantly transformed the room. You could just get 1 pack and do a feature wall / the area above her bed
• I got a Great Little Trading company solid wooden shelf very cheap off Facebook, put that on the wall with her small cuddlies on it.
• 1 bright cushion for the bed from TK Maxx plus I made a tiny one myself out of stuff we already had
• due to having a chimney breast, the room is awkward for a wardrobe. We use an extendable shower curtain pole instead so all her pretty clothes are on display. Looks lovely and cost about £10.

I would keep the double bed if I were you, and just get any other furniture you need secondhand.

The idea with the shower curtain rail is inspired, I would never have thought of that, fantastic idea!

If she is happy then stop worrying. But also there are so many ways you could turn it into an amazing princess room on very little money so don't overthink how much you spend or need. Also, it might be worth thinking about when she starts school, nursery etc. When she wants to bring a friend home (which won't be that long!) then having a room will be important to her, and then she may ask questions as she will see what other have? Nice to have it sorted before then?

I would keep the double bed as it means if she finds the transition to her own room difficult you can take it in turns to snuggle in with her!

I wouldn't get into debt to get specific toddler furniture, I'd get a full size single if you are adamant on getting rid of the double.

I think it depends how often you have people over and it seems you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to have a 'lovely' room for your DC.

I would want her in a separate room as, from my experience, the quality of sleep that you and she will get will improve.

PPs have mentioned FB marketplace. I sold my John Lewis toddler bed and mattress for £30 on there.

I also wanted to mention wall stickers - really impactful, relatively easy to put up and easy to replace as their tastes and interests do change fairly frequently

I think you are going from one extreme (not having her own room - which is fine if you're all happy with that) to not putting her in a not very often used bedroom until it's got absolutely everything in it. It's just a bit unusual.

My dd went straight from cot to second hand adult single bed with a bed guard on. I saw no point in wasting money on a toddler bed. She doesn't have a chair and table; she uses the kitchen table for crafting etc. Why does she need that? There's a bed in there already, just make sure there's a bed guard on it, perhaps buy new bedding and paint the walls - done! Any 3 year old would be over the moon at that! You don't need new carpet, rugs, everything new.