Today is a big birthday and my husband forgot

[Kk789]

Today is a milestone birthday and my husband forgot. He remembered at 6pm and said sorry but we couldn't do anything anyway because of covid.

I feel really sad about it actually because we do usually do birthdays, not so much big presents but we make it a nice day

Feel pretty low :(

Happy birthday OP 🍰

What’s going on that he forgot your birthday? It’s massive hurtful

Happy birthday @Kk789 🥂🍰

I married into a family where birthdays are often forgotten. I was upset the first time it happened, but have learnt not to take it personally now. I really enjoy looking for and finding the perfect present for people I love, so I carry on, but they are hit and miss.

Your feelings are valid OP. Everyone deserves to be made a fuss of on their birthday by the people that love them. I'm really sorry he messed it up. Next year I'd give him a week's warning and suggest a few nice things he could do. Enjoy your meal and treat yourself!

Happy Birthday OP! Treat yourself.

Everyone deserves to be spoilt on their birthday. I’d be gutted if my husband forgot but birthday s are big with us..: not in a money sense but in so far as the day is for that person to feel special.

If have the have a chat with my husband and tell him how disappointed I was.

You're not silly at all. He's being a thoughtless prick and on his birthday make sure you 'forget' and organise a girls night out. Happy Birthday 🎂 x

Happy birthday @Kk789
I would treat myself with a retail therapy sponsored by dh.
"How generous of you dh to offer me your bank card so I can pick my own birthday present (as you take the card). Cheerio"

Happy Birthday @Kk789 ❤️🎉🎂
It feels awful doesn't it? Is this usual? Does he have a habit of not remembering dates/anniversaries etc?
My Dh won't remember any dates or birthdays unless reminded. He was just checking my days off last month as he was planning a big surprise for my birthday in October. My birthday is in December 🙄
He has add, so I forgive him. Still sucks to be reminding though. What's your dh's excuse?

Happy Birthday KK 🎂💐

Happy birthday Maybe he has something secret planned for tomorrow

Be interesting to hear what he has to say when your friends ask what he bought you!

Happy birthday OP!!

I’d go and do something nice now for myself and focus on making the rest of the day as nice as you can. Then in a few days I’d be very clear with him that there is no excuse for this level of neglect. Sure maybe because of covid he couldn’t organise certain things but there is absolutely no reason why he couldn’t have got a card, made you a nice breakfast, gone out for a meal or got a takeaway and chosen something thoughtful as a gift.

Happy Birthday! I'm so sorry that your husband has let you down. Last Christmas I realised once I'd put all of the presents out on Christmas Eve that there wasn't a single gift for me, nothing not even a selection box. With the last minute restrictions all of our plans changed and it was just us and our 2 sons at home, we were due to spend it at my parents with my brother and sister too, our Dad has dementia and I'm not sure how many Christmases are left where he'll know who we all are so I was already sad about all that. Realising my husband hadn't thought about me and got me anything felt like cruelty and has affected my relationship with him ever since if I'm honest.

@Nanny0gg

Be interesting to hear what he has to say when your friends ask what he bought you!

Me too. DH didn't make much effort for my big birthday and I was too embarrassed to tell anyone.

What's Covid got to do with it?;the shops are still open and so are all the websites.You can literally get next day delivery on most things.It's also Saturday night;even if he remembered at 6pm he still could have taken you out or gone and got a bottle of wine and you could have ordered a take away and watched a movie together.

What a cop out;he's a lazy turd.

Wtf has covid got to dowith getting a card or acknoeldging it this morning

horrible fucker

Happy birthday 🥳 🎂

I actually would leave over this.

Not particularly because I wasn’t spoiled on my birthday but because I just couldn’t square the lack of care or consideration.

And forcing him to run out and make a restaurant booking or buy champagne or jewellery wouldn’t cut it.

I honestly couldn’t respect someone again who treated me with such contempt.

It sounds like he's got mixed up because you're celebrating your birthday tomorrow even tho it's today...... I means it's not great but it's not as if you didn't have anything arranged.

@rainbowmash

If you wanted a fuss, you should have communicated your expectations. You sound like a bit of a martyr. Whether you know it or not, you set yourself up to wallow in disappointment. Your feelings may be real and valid, but you might benefit from a closer look at where they come from.

Oh jog on.

Do people really think I should have told my husband I wanted a card on my 40th birthday?

^ only on Mumsnet!

Happy birthday OP. Sorry it's been so deflating.

Happy Birthday OP

Why put yourself down and say you are pathetic and it’s only a birthday, it’s your one special day of the year and everyone should be made to feel special on their birthday regardless of what birthday it is and especially if it’s a big birthday, you should have had card, flowers, chocolates and present as a minimum and then a meal cooked by him or special takeaway ( as you are going out tomorrow) although as it’s a special birthday he should have pushed the boat out and taken you for a romantic meal tonight as well (funds permitting).
This sort of thoughtless selfish lazy crap from partners really gets me cross. There is just no need to cause a loved one pain for no reason when it was so avoidable. Covid ffs, aren’t the shops and restaurants open now?? Online delivery?. That’s just such a lazy shit excuse.
Hapoy birthday

Happy Birthday.

" I know it sounds silly and it's just a birthday" It doesn't sound silly.

XX [thank you]