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AIBU?

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Original poster

Today is a big birthday and my husband forgot

306 replies

Kk789 · 08/10/2021 18:44

Today is a milestone birthday and my husband forgot. He remembered at 6pm and said sorry but we couldn't do anything anyway because of covid.

I feel really sad about it actually because we do usually do birthdays, not so much big presents but we make it a nice day

Feel pretty low :(

OP posts:
TheWholeWorld · 08/10/2021 18:55

@Kk789

My birthday has been mentioned a few times because it's a big one. I know it sounds silly and it's just a birthday
It's not silly. I would be gutted. Can you order yourself some nice takeaway food and dessert for tonight?
Antiqueanniesmagiclanternshow · 08/10/2021 18:55

I don't understand how this happens. It's my milestone birthday next YEAR and we are already planning.

It sounds like you're being a bit of a martyr. Go out tonight. I don't know why covid is preventing it. Are you in the uk?

Did you stay silent all day waiting for him to say something? I'd have lost my shit by 9am!

Dyrne · 08/10/2021 18:55

So you haven’t mentioned it at all in the last couple of days?

I just find it really weird - DP and I always talk to each other in the run up to our birthdays about what we want to do and what the other one wants for presents etc? Then the night before is all about the anticipation of the Colin the Caterpillar cake?

It sounds like you have much bigger problems than just a birthday tbh.

Cruiser11 · 08/10/2021 18:56

What did you plan for your birthday? Did you say I’m lucky my big birthday is a friday so let’s go out to dinner on the actual day and then have family over Sunday and go and watch a show on Saturday etc?
Did you discuss birthday presents beforehand or plan a party? I couldn’t imagine not making the most of any birthday, never mind a big one.

Blueeyedgirl21 · 08/10/2021 18:56

Can’t do anything because of covid? Are you in Aus or somewhere?? How bizarre. Does he actually have covid ??

mbosnz · 08/10/2021 18:56

I'd wish you happy birthday, but it hasn't been, has it?

I'm so sorry.

You do matter, you know. He's just been a self absorbed twat. Whether this is a permanent state of affairs, only you will know.

Mymapuddlington · 08/10/2021 18:56

Happy Birthday!

Obviously he has to look after the house/kids/pets while you have a lovely pamper weekend, bubble bath and glass of wine. Get a bell you can use to ring him for more coffee or chocolates.

BlueSuffragette · 08/10/2021 18:57

Sorry he forgot OP. Have a few treats for your birthday. GinCakeWineFlowers Hope he realises he's been a dumb arse and makes it up to you. Try and enjoy the rest of your birthday night by doing whatever you choose. Best wishes OP xxx

neededafart · 08/10/2021 18:58

Happy birthday op. 🎂

Original poster
Kk789 · 08/10/2021 18:58

@Cruiser11

What did you plan for your birthday? Did you say I’m lucky my big birthday is a friday so let’s go out to dinner on the actual day and then have family over Sunday and go and watch a show on Saturday etc? Did you discuss birthday presents beforehand or plan a party? I couldn’t imagine not making the most of any birthday, never mind a big one.
We're seeing friends tomorrow for a meal and drinks, so I didn't expect fireworks today but I would have liked some kind of acknowledgement at least.

Maybe I am being a bit of a martyr now but I just feel deflated. I know I'll enjoy tomorrow with friends.

We do clearly have bigger problems than a birthday card :(

OP posts:
Cruiser11 · 08/10/2021 18:58

It’s not even 7pm yet, you have 5 hours left to do something nice and the whole weekend to fill with treats. I wouldn’t wait around for him to get his act together. Plan yourself a lovely day tomorrow.

Henio · 08/10/2021 18:58

I don't really understand these posts, seems like people would rather sit around feeling sorry for themselves while their partner is none the wiser. Atleast let them know in the morning so they get a chance to make it up to you Confused

Not saying its ok to forget your partners birthday but why make the day even worse

trevthecat · 08/10/2021 18:58

Don't say its pathetic. It is not pathetic to want a card and a brew. I would be really hurt to be forgotten like this.
Happy birthday 🎂

Comedycook · 08/10/2021 18:58

I just had a milestone birthday and got nothing and did nothing from dh. It's so shit. He would buy me something if I specifically said what I wanted. He'd also take me somewhere if I said I want to go to such and such restaurant in the day. After nearly 20 years together, he still doesn't bloody understand I'd like him to think of doing something or think of getting me something.

yikersvipers · 08/10/2021 18:59

@GoingOutOutNEVER same. Thought is was a zombie thread.

DelphiniumBlue · 08/10/2021 18:59

@Kk789

Today is a milestone birthday and my husband forgot. He remembered at 6pm and said sorry but we couldn't do anything anyway because of covid.

I feel really sad about it actually because we do usually do birthdays, not so much big presents but we make it a nice day

Feel pretty low :(

Is online not open? And where I am, all shops, restaurants, cinemas and theatres are open. Gigs are happening. Gatherings at home are allowed. How is Covid an excuse for not this? So what has he organised now he has remembered? Could you go out for dinner now?
Owlink · 08/10/2021 19:00

Happy birthday, OP Cake I'm so sad for you. You're not pathetic or being silly. I would feel exactly the same. And it's not as if you hadn't talked about it with your husband in the last few weeks / days! There's no excuse for such thoughtlessness. I wish I could say something cheering but whatever is suggested (dinner & big fuss tomorrow) is just too damn late. I am sorry.

girlmom21 · 08/10/2021 19:03

He's a twat.

Go and get a bottle of wine and order your favourite takeaway (for you, not him) put your feet up and watch your favourite film.

Mooloolabababy · 08/10/2021 19:04

Sorry but the covid excuse is bollocks. Most people buy online now anyway. We've all had lockdown birthdays in this house and they were all made special by putting in effort and planning in advance. Maybe remember this for his birthday next time? Happy birthday op Thanks

ginswinger · 08/10/2021 19:04

He would be getting a very long, uncomfortable stare if I were in your shoes. He's either an arse or needs considerable help is remembering birthdays. My brother is the latter so I just send him my list of wants and needs with links to purchase.

Original poster
Kk789 · 08/10/2021 19:05

I'm in the UK! It was the worst apology I've ever had!

OP posts:
mbosnz · 08/10/2021 19:07

Hear that MrKk789? You are getting a very hard paddington stare from the Mumsnet Squad. Up your game buddy. Appreciate Kk789. She's worth it.

Original poster
Kk789 · 08/10/2021 19:07

You are all so lovely, thank you for making me feel less stupid about this. I an going to have a nice cosy night and look forward to seeing my friends tomorrow Wine
I won't be remembering his 40th!!

OP posts:
Dyrne · 08/10/2021 19:07

@Kk789

I'm in the UK! It was the worst apology I've ever had!
That’s what really sticks out for me OP. Your DH shrugging his shoulders and a “oh well never mind”.

If I’d forgotten someone’s birthday I’d be straight out the door to the nearest shop for a card, chocolates and bunch of flowers and be planning a nice dinner pronto to at least try and salvage it. The fact he couldn’t even be arsed once he remembered speaks volumes about how he feels about you.

Bookaholic73 · 08/10/2021 19:07

I’m so sorry, that’s so thoughtless.
I’d be gutted if my DH forgot my birthday.

I would go and plan a day to yourself to celebrate.

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