Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Today is a big birthday and my husband forgot

306 replies

Kk789 · 08/10/2021 18:44

Today is a milestone birthday and my husband forgot. He remembered at 6pm and said sorry but we couldn't do anything anyway because of covid.

I feel really sad about it actually because we do usually do birthdays, not so much big presents but we make it a nice day

Feel pretty low :(

OP posts:
Shehasadiamondinthesky · 08/10/2021 19:27

If someone I was with treated me like this my god there would be fireworks, they would never forget it and I would be seriously considering whether I wanted to be with someone so bloody selfish and uncaring. He clearly does not have any respect for you.

Anonymice1 · 08/10/2021 19:27

Next time he’s going out with friends, act surprised and say you thought it wasn’t possible because of covid.

indecisivewoman81 · 08/10/2021 19:28

He is an arse. I suspect he has used covid as a thinly veiled excuse to cover up the fact that he is totally selfish.

Get yourself in a lovely bubble bath, curl up in your favourite pjs and order yourself a fantastic luxurious present that you would never normally buy. Pay for it to be gift wrapped too.

Make sure to tell your friends tomorrow when you are out for your meal that your beloved husband forgot!!

HarebrightCedarmoon · 08/10/2021 19:28

Happy Birthday!

I always talk about my birthday weeks before. DH has no chance to forget!

We both forgot our wedding anniversary last year though.

headinthecloudsnow · 08/10/2021 19:28

@indecisivewoman81

He is an arse. I suspect he has used covid as a thinly veiled excuse to cover up the fact that he is totally selfish.

Get yourself in a lovely bubble bath, curl up in your favourite pjs and order yourself a fantastic luxurious present that you would never normally buy. Pay for it to be gift wrapped too.

Make sure to tell your friends tomorrow when you are out for your meal that your beloved husband forgot!!

Agree! Don't cover for him- make sure you tell your friends!
DowntonCrabby · 08/10/2021 19:29

That’s utterly shit OP, he can’t possibly have completely forgotten if it’s been mentioned a few times. It’s selfish, thoughtless, lazy and just shitty of a supposed partner.

Flowers can you message a friend to go out? Covid is a non-excuse, even if he didn’t few comfort out he should have organised something at home. I’d be planning on serving divorce papers for his next birthday. Asshole.

Twattergy · 08/10/2021 19:29

Please come back and tell us he's sprung a surprise on you OP. If not, he's a total soul sapping dick, sorry.

BornIn78 · 08/10/2021 19:29

He’s a twat and if I was one of your friends out with you tomorrow and I asked the inevitable “so what did he get you for your 40th?” I’d be telling him that when I found out he couldn’t even be arsed getting you a card - although if this is a reflection of your relationship as a whole I suspect your friends probably already think he’s a total knobhead anyway.

DirtyDancing · 08/10/2021 19:30

I just wanted to say Happy Birthday 🎂

Cloudyzebra · 08/10/2021 19:30

Lets be honest here, from what you have said he didn't forget, he just couldn't be bothered! I am really sorry OP but that is utterly shit on his part! I hope you can treat yourself now.

Flufferty · 08/10/2021 19:30

Happy birthday 🎁🎂

Bluebubbletrouble · 08/10/2021 19:31

Happy birthday OP CakeFlowers

I've just had a colonoscopy on the morning of my milestone birthday, also had to isolate and test beforehand. Can we have a shared it's not fair party Smile

sarahc336 · 08/10/2021 19:31

Happy birthday op though!!!! Xx

winterescape · 08/10/2021 19:31

Could be a surprise party for you tomorrow op but I agree, not even a card is thoughtless. I’d be hurt. I’d not want to go out at 7 either, just because I’ve mentioned it and he’s forgotten.

Thethreecs · 08/10/2021 19:31

Happy Birthday 🎂🎂🎉🎉💐💐

Considering you both mentioned it and the fact he knows you over a year so will know when your birthday is, there's no excuses for forgetting. He should have at least had a card for you. I'd be so disappointed coming in from work and there to be nothing!!!

Don't spend your own money you've saved on a present, get him to pay.

Is he just sitting there now doing nothing? Has he not even offered to arrange dinner or anything.?

Sootybear · 08/10/2021 19:32

If I had a big birthday coming up my partner wouldn't have a chance to forget. I'd be talking about what I want to do for months! I'd wake up singing happy birthday to me! I don't understand how this could happen. Sorry you feel low but plan something nice to do tomorrow. There is still time to celebrate this weekend and get him to order you a lovely gift too.

thewhatsit · 08/10/2021 19:33

@GoingOutOutNEVER

Couldn’t do anything because of Covid.. I had to check when op posted this, thought it was posted in the middle of lockdown not today
Yes what does “because of COViD” mean? There is nothing you can’t do now “because of Covid”.

I’m someone that actually normally sides with the DHs/ DPs on these type of threads - because often you get very materialistic threads “how dare my partner not get me a big present for Mother’s Day” or whatever but forgetting someone’s 40th or 50th is pretty shitty. And there is surely no “because of Covid” anymore.

Original poster
Kk789 · 08/10/2021 19:33

@Bluebubbletrouble

Happy birthday OP CakeFlowers

I've just had a colonoscopy on the morning of my milestone birthday, also had to isolate and test beforehand. Can we have a shared it's not fair party Smile

I hope you had a AMAZING milestone+1 birthday to make up for it!!
OP posts:
PennyPinkPineapple · 08/10/2021 19:33

Could it be a bluff? Maybe he has surprise planned?

If not that is very inconsiderate.

Happy birthday! Have a nice big G&T xx

MrsColon · 08/10/2021 19:34

Happy birthday! I've just poured a glass of wine and am toasting you. Book something lovely! Things I would do (appreciate they're not for everyone):

Wood carving day - I've been to www.greenwooddays.co.uk/ but there are a few dotted about all over.

Caving - Peak District is brill but you can book anywhere really.

Paragliding - bloody amazing!

National Trust 'putting the house to bed' tours - really interesting

Crafting courses - I really want to learn to knit

Pottery workshop - I'm crap at it but it's squishy and fun.

Horse riding beginners weekend.

Anyway, pick something you fancy and jolly well do it. You deserve it.

As we'd say in Scotland: "here's tae you - who's like you? Damn few and they're all deid!"

Original poster
Kk789 · 08/10/2021 19:34

@PennyPinkPineapple

Could it be a bluff? Maybe he has surprise planned?

If not that is very inconsiderate.

Happy birthday! Have a nice big G&T xx

There is no bluff. He is really just a dick.
OP posts:
IveNameChangedAgain2020 · 08/10/2021 19:35

Sorry I just wouldn't stand for this. I don't understand posters who put it on OP to ask "well did you mention it" or "it's just a birthday". Seriously don't put up with this shit. Get dressed up, make up on and go out with your friends.

AND remember this when it's his birthday. Don't be a matyr and still make his day special. The same energy he puts out is the same he gets.

ChikiTIKI · 08/10/2021 19:36

When he asks why you don't do anything for his 40th just say "oh I didn't think we celebrated 40ths" hope you enjoy your meal with friends tomorrow. Happy birthday 🙂

cakecakecheese · 08/10/2021 19:36

Covid is a shit excuse. My 40th birthday was 2 days into the last lockdown. My partner had an amazing cake made for me and we had dinner delivered. It's not like you even wanted a massive fuss, just some sort of acknowledgement and I'm sorry you didn't get that.

I hope you have a nice night out tomorrow Flowers

ChikiTIKI · 08/10/2021 19:36

P. S. Is he still invited to the meal tomorrow?

Swipe left for the next trending thread