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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To text a one night stand?

328 replies

itistragic · 06/10/2021 19:34

I had a one night stand 2 weeks ago. When I say one night stand, it was a one night stand however he has messaged me periodically the past 6 years basically 'what are you upto' texts that go nowhere. We have also seen each other at gathering etc but nothing ever happened.

Anyway, 2 weeks ago, he messaged me, I said come over and we had sex. It was great, I really enjoyed it. However, I haven't heard from him since and I haven't contacted him either, which is not a problem and to be expected for one night stands. But I find myself tonight really itching to text him, just offering a repeat basically.

Will this come across as desperate? I'm scared that he might reject me? I'm on the larger side (5ft 3 in, 15 stone) , my friends tell me that he wouldn't have slept with me if he had a problem with my weight but I know better.

By messaging him I am in no way hoping for a relationship, I am definetely not looking for that. Just another genuinely amazing shag.

WIBU to message him? And if not...what do I message?

OP posts:
Itsmeagainandagain · 07/10/2021 16:38

Thats up to you but i wouldnt, i keep one night stands as that, less complicated.

AngelDelightUk · 07/10/2021 16:48

I can’t believe he read and run!

Itsmeagainandagain · 07/10/2021 17:04

@AngelDelightUk

I can’t believe he read and run!
She asked and he ignored? I read back a few and see he is 39 never left the apron strings of his mother, whether hes a good shag or not, thats pretty bad. Get yourself onto love honey or something, cant be going after manbabys.
beastlyslumber · 07/10/2021 17:06

Your last update makes him sound super creepy OP. He's probably not responded because he's had to consult the incel forum for advice on how best to 'neg' you. He doesn't sound like the kind of mature, balanced person you could potentially have FWB set up with.

Do check out Matthew Hussey's videos on dating. I know I bang on about them all the time but I'm sure MN will catch on to him at some point and then you'll all be at it! He has lots of good advice on how to play the dating game in a way that gets you what you want, while having respect for the other person and keeping your own head.

TirednWorried · 07/10/2021 17:17

Having a one night stand is desperate? That's all men then.

The egg does not swim after the sperm.

BertramLacey · 07/10/2021 17:32

@TirednWorried

Having a one night stand is desperate? That's all men then.

The egg does not swim after the sperm.

As has been known for over thirty years, the egg is a lot more active than scientists have generally portrayed it to be www.jstor.org/stable/3810051
toocold54 · 07/10/2021 17:54

I think he sounds quite sweet and shy, and more as if he's looking for a relationship than a cheap fumble.

No he doesn’t.
They’ve known each other for 6 years. He read and ignored her message.
If he was interested no matter how shy he is he would have managed to create a decent conversation in those 6 years.

It sounds like he goes to the parties and late at night when he hasn’t got a “better” offer he texts OP hoping she’ll invite him round.
Which is what’s going to end up happen again.

We’ve all met idiots like this, don’t waste your time on him OP.

Original poster
itistragic · 07/10/2021 21:58

Oh he's replied...can't see the full message as don't want him to see I've read it straight away but all I can see is 'I will take you up on that....'

OP posts:
longtompot · 07/10/2021 22:03

@itistragic

Oh he's replied...can't see the full message as don't want him to see I've read it straight away but all I can see is 'I will take you up on that....'
Put your phone on airplane mode as apparently you can read messages but they appear unread to the sender
ArabellaScott · 07/10/2021 22:03
Glitterball
Winniemarysarah · 07/10/2021 22:03

Jesus Christ open the message woman!! 😂😂😂

purplebatbear · 07/10/2021 22:04

I've just read the whole thread! Open the message!!!! Open it!!! 😂😂😂😂

Original poster
itistragic · 07/10/2021 22:05

Okay I put on aeroplane mode and opened it. It literally just said 'I will take you up on that offer'. 24 hours for that reply but fair enough!

OP posts:
SpiderPlant101010 · 07/10/2021 22:05

Over to you then!! If you want a shag tonight then read the message and go for it. If you don't fancy a shag tonight then say great I'll text you when I next need your services 😍😍

bethabean · 07/10/2021 22:05

Place marking as I've been reading this thread from the start and desperate to know the outcome Grin

Lovewins · 07/10/2021 22:06

He was always going to message! How do you feel about it?

MushMonster · 07/10/2021 22:08

Just read it OP!
It is not a game playing.
If you are not at work or other, just open up!
I knew he would say something along yhe lines.... "oh yeah, on my way!."..
It is all this.... do not sound too keen.... do not sound desperate.... over-think your reply.... bullshit that makes your life difficult.
Just be yourself, if you want to read it, then do!

OP reading your updates on him lingering around after parties and so, mainly via text, it sounds like he is very much into you, but really really shy! There could be some feelings catching up on this one. Any tingling on your side?

Marmalady75 · 07/10/2021 22:13

@itistragic

Okay I put on aeroplane mode and opened it. It literally just said 'I will take you up on that offer'. 24 hours for that reply but fair enough!
Remember how you didn’t want to sound desperate? Neither does he! Invite him over this weekend and have some fun together.
SpiderPlant101010 · 07/10/2021 22:15

@MushMonster Yes I can see something developing here

ShinyMe · 07/10/2021 22:20

Do you really want all this game playing and mind reading and second guessing op? There aren't really compatible with a FWB type situation. The good thing about fwb is that you don't have to stress and mess around, you can be direct and honest. If you're worrying all the time about what it all MEANS then I suspect fwb is not actually what you want.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 07/10/2021 22:22

Well you know he's a little slow buy if he's good in the sack then you go!

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 07/10/2021 22:22

*but

liveforsummer · 07/10/2021 22:26

This is the sort of socially awkward guy who is still living with his mum at that age for a reason. If he'd been truly interested he'd have replied immediately however please don't think it's down to anything about you that means he's not. It's a pure fluke he's good in bed. Usually they aren't

Notimeforaname · 07/10/2021 22:28

I knew he'd text. I thought you were all mad saying he was rude 🤣
Is he allowed out on a school night?? If so ,invite him round!! Yeehaaw

Original poster
itistragic · 07/10/2021 22:32

I can't tonight, my daughter is here. She was at her dads last night so could have done then, now not free until next weekend. I'm thinking I won't reply and maybe just text next time I'm free and up for it and see if he is! Or should I reply saying 'perfect, I'm free a night next weekend'?

OP posts: