To have a 10 month old baby in a nursery 5 days a week?

Toomuchworkon · 2021-10-06T05:58:53+00:00

Just been reading another thread where it’s generally agreed this is a lot / potentially too much and I’m all worried now. Honestly, would you be judging me harshly?

orangejuicer · 06/10/2021 07:01

If you don't have a choice OP I don't see why opinions on MN matter.

WeepySheepy · 06/10/2021 07:02

Do what you need to do and what works for your family. I know someone who had to put their 7 month old in 5 days a week. They were absolutely dreading it but the baby seemed very happy and settled after the first week and has learnt loads.

Finfintytint · 06/10/2021 07:03

My son was in nursery full time from the age of six months. He’s twenty seven now and hasn’t developed any psychopathic traits as far as I know.

Aorh · 06/10/2021 07:05

If it was a choice, I wouldn’t do it (but then if it was a choice, I’d have stayed at home with mine and they wouldn’t have gone until they were 3), but it isn’t going to do them any harm, it just might be painful for you. The most delightful teenager I know was in full time nursery from 3 months.

You do what’s best for you and your family and what you need to and it’s not for anyone else to judge.

NorthernChinchilla · 06/10/2021 07:07

Did it with both of mine from 9 months. Both are as attached to me/DH as possible.

DD is a total hellspawn but that's just her inherent personality

Only issue frankly is the bloody cost of it!

EarringsandLipstick · 06/10/2021 07:08

Not at all.

My children were in a creche full time from 9 months (in the case of my eldest) and a bit later (later 2 children).

They were perfectly happy as was I.

The thing is, different things work for different children & families. I wouldn't judge someone who made a different decision to what I did, either.

It comes down to what you and DC are happy with, and that's all.

dottiedodah · 06/10/2021 07:08

We had babies from 2 months on when I worked in a nursery. The youngest I looked after was 5 months old and in nursery 5 days a week 9 to 6! These hours are really more common than you think .please don't worry, baby will be fine .have lots of new baby mates to play with too

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 06/10/2021 07:08

It is a lot. But it depends on whether or not you have a choice. If there is absolutely no other option then find the very best nursery and try to put those feelings of worry behind you. But if it would be possible for you and your DP (if you have one) to work things out so that the days in nursery can be reduced, then I would definitely do that; at least until your DC is 2. Even if it means a significant reduction in lifestyle for a while. Best of luck.

Original poster

Toomuchworkon · 06/10/2021 07:10

I’m hoping to drop a day or two in the near future but right now it is a new job and so full time. The alternative would have been to not work and to have looked for part time work but part time is rarely advertised - it tends to happen when people have been there and then reduce hours.

OP posts:

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 06/10/2021 07:10

Sorry. In answer to your question; I would not judge you harshly.

EarringsandLipstick · 06/10/2021 07:13

@LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood

It is a lot. But it depends on whether or not you have a choice. If there is absolutely no other option then find the very best nursery and try to put those feelings of worry behind you. But if it would be possible for you and your DP (if you have one) to work things out so that the days in nursery can be reduced, then I would definitely do that; at least until your DC is 2. Even if it means a significant reduction in lifestyle for a while. Best of luck.

Why? What does 'it is a lot' mean? It's childcare while she works, as long as she's happy with the caregiver, and her DC is happy, it's fine.

There's no need to mitigate the situation, like nursery care is a bad thing. Many children love it.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 06/10/2021 07:14

If you have an alternative (as you suggest) not to work for a while longer then I’d probably take that option.

Original poster

Toomuchworkon · 06/10/2021 07:15

You’re a really sensible poster normally @LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood so I think we have misunderstood (!) one another - you think I should quit this job and wait for a part time one which may or may not appear instead of waiting a year or so and going PT in this one? Surely not!

OP posts:

Alarae · 06/10/2021 07:16

No. My DD has been with her childminder since she was 10.5 months old doing 8-4pm five days a week.

She loves going as she gets to play with the other kids, they go out to parks all the time, loads of toys and a large garden to have fun in.

Much more fun for her than being stuck at home with mum and dad!

MyMabel · 06/10/2021 07:16

I put DD in nursery 5 days a week at 10 months. She was fine, her speech, mobility, social side of her really blossomed. It did her the world of good.

However she’s nearly 2 now and I’ve just dropped a Monday at work so I can have a bit more one on one time with her, which is also really nice.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 06/10/2021 07:17

The “it's a lot” was in response to the question about nursery being “5 days a week”. I was responding to the question the OP asked and giving my opinion. It’s fine that you have a different opinion. That’s kind of how these things work!

MyMabel · 06/10/2021 07:18

And fwiw. I didn’t need to go back to work. I wanted to

EarringsandLipstick · 06/10/2021 07:20

@LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood

The “it's a lot” was in response to the question about nursery being “5 days a week”. I was responding to the question the OP asked and giving my opinion. It’s fine that you have a different opinion. That’s kind of how these things work!

I get that.

I just don't know what you base 'it's a lot' on, as in what's detrimental to having a child in nursery / creche 5 days a week?

There's an implication that this is bad or less than ideal.

However, my point is that as long as the parent and child are happy, it's fine. It's not 'a lot' or 'a little' in the way that you are suggesting it's inherently bad & needs to be ameliorated.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 06/10/2021 07:26

I’d not judge anybody using childcare to support their child, financial responsibility is a huge part of being a parent. Very different from using childcare when you don’t work imo.

DammedifIdo · 06/10/2021 07:28

I think this is really common as mosr people work full time and most people go back before the year. It's not necessarily what people want to do but I wouldn't judge you as it's normal

Username7521 · 06/10/2021 07:29

Please don’t listen to the likes of @LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood and quit your job. It is normal for a child to have to go to childcare and for the parent to work. Only on mumsnet do they tell you that you’re less of a parent.

Take the job, do nursery full time and if it doesn’t work for you then change it.

My advice would be to set boundaries and stick to them. Don’t feel bad for leaving to pick up your child and switch off when you’re with them. Make sure you’re happy with the nursery.

marykitty · 06/10/2021 07:29

If it's needed and you have no other choice don't let other people feel bad for it. My DS started nursery even earlier, 3 days per week at 6 months. It was difficult at the beginning, but now he seems very happy.

I have a friend of mine which is a SAHM (her personal choice) and she decided to put the baby in nursery 5 days/week, full days, since age 9 months....in that case i think it's unnecessary, but your case is completely different.

Good luck with your new job

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 06/10/2021 07:30

Ah. I have misunderstood you. Sorry. I thought that it genuinely was an alternative. That the new job had just been offered to you and the alternative was to wait a bit longer before entering the job market. 10 months (I found with my 3) is a tricky age for separation. It’s also exhausting working full time with a very young child (I’ve done both and preferred taking a bit longer off). I don’t think you will cause any harm to your DC with nursery. Either long or short term. I do think they may be grizzly and fractious to begin with. Even upset at times. And you will be exhausted. Delaying that seemed like a good idea, if you had the option. Particularly if in another few months the potential for some of the exhaustion and upset might have diminished.

I do not think you should quit the job you already have. Sorry for the confusion. My misunderstand. Not yours. That serves me right for rushing to answer when I should be getting ready for work.

I do think you and your DC will be fine.

didireallysaythat · 06/10/2021 07:31

Judge you? For what?

Full time 5 days a week at 3 months. Thankfully it didn't occur to me at the time that this wasn't the norm. A truely wonderful nursery helps.

Brieandcamembert · 06/10/2021 07:34

Far better you are earning a living to pay for your child. I wouldn't judge.