To be annoyed my mum says I’m a snob for this

[BrendaBubbles]

It’s relevant to note that I am from a working class background and last year I moved into a flat in an actually “naice” area of the northern town I grew up in. The number of the flat has “A” after it because it was originally the upstairs of a single Edwardian townhouse and the ground floor has the number only.. for example I have 69A and downstairs they have 69.

I thought having the A just looked a bit rubbish and a friend suggested that I could instead give the flat a name and register it with the post office and so on to use it officially. So I went through this rigmarole and my flat is now called something along the lines of Brenda Tower then the road name etc (not exactly that name due to privacy!)

I thought it was quite a fun thing to do but when I told my DM she went berserk and said she was disappointed because she hadn’t brought me up to be so snobby about something like an address and that moving to this part of town has made me into a worse person. I thought she was joking at first but she is really holding me in contempt for it and makes annoying references to how “posh” and “too good” I am at family gatherings and things. Other than having a nice flat in a nice area and giving it my own name, Am I actually being unreasonable?? Lots of people with cottages and things have house names so why can’t my flat?

If you want to make getting your post and any deliveries a nightmare fill your boots 🤷🏻‍♀️

@CSIblonde

It's very "lower middle" class to me & a bit pretentious. I think I'd be embarrassed if I was your Mum. It sort of shrieks I want an old farmhouse or manor house so I'll name my flat like its one.

And what is wrong with being lower middle-class?

I’ve just seen that you rent. I would be more worried about your landlords view than your mums!
Although I guess it might be a ‘naice’ view from the ‘towers’

I don’t think it’s snobby, as you say it’s a bit of fun. You do what you like.

Although she’s being over critical perhaps she’s worried you’re leaving your family behind or growing apart and maybe it’s just her insecurity

I think it's a bit wank but I wouldn't make you feel bad about it. Different strokes and all that.

I mean if I knew it was usually called a number and now someone changed it to a name - I would think it was a bit pretentious/wannabe - sorry OP.

I came from a working class background and my parents were pretty snippy about the fact that I was paid by bank transfer in my first job, age 16. It meant they had no idea what I earned because they never saw a wage packet. My father used to mutter about "cheque books" and "direct debits" as though they were the devil's invention. They disapproved even more when I left home and got my own flat in a better part of the city. Aspiring to have a better and more comfortable life than your parents was a sign of contempt for your forebears in their eyes. When I was older I went to uni and did a series of degrees. They never forgave me for that.

Unusual, but not snobbish. Here, it is rare to find named homes, unless they are vacation homes in small villages or actual mansions, but even those, I believe, have actual street addresses, hence something like, "Shadowchase House, 329 Windy Drive, Anyplace, Some State, 00000."

Many house names historically were named after the first lady (wife) that lived there. My house was built in the 1800’s and is named after the wife of the man who built it and lived in it first with her and his family. I guess if you are the first person to live in your flat in it’s formation as a flat this is kind of a similar situation.

I don’t think there is any harm in naming your home, it’s nice to make somewhere that’s so personal and your place truly your own. I probably would have kept the number with the A too just to make the address easier to find for post/parcels etc.

I also think your Mum is super jealous sadly.

To be fair I think the same that others have said. It’s a bit wanky. My brother has a detached house out near Scunthorpe and immediately changed the number to a name and I did roll my eyes and think ‘pretentious twat’ but I’d never fall out with him over it or be rude about it. It’s not something that I’d do but equally it’s not something that harms anyone. Your mum is massively over reacting.

If she does this again, laugh and say "That's right!", "You ain't seen nothing yet", or some other jokey remark.

Hilarious OP as are the gasps of horror on this thread…priceless - enjoy every moment of it!

I grew up on a new build estate where the council took it upon themselves to name the houses and give everyone a plaque to put up. I thought our (shit) estate was well posh.

Hoping your real name is Mallory.

If you have completely dropped 69A then you are being unreasonable.

It’s pretentious and will be a PIA for delivery drivers as a house name only has no logic. Also I hope you don’t need the emergency services.

You will forever be saying to people it’s Ivory Towers, above 69”.

@simitra

I came from a working class background and my parents were pretty snippy about the fact that I was paid by bank transfer in my first job, age 16. It meant they had no idea what I earned because they never saw a wage packet. My father used to mutter about "cheque books" and "direct debits" as though they were the devil's invention. They disapproved even more when I left home and got my own flat in a better part of the city. Aspiring to have a better and more comfortable life than your parents was a sign of contempt for your forebears in their eyes. When I was older I went to uni and did a series of degrees. They never forgave me for that.

That’s really sad 😔 my dad always used to say to me “all parents want their children to have more and do better than they did in life” and I believed it, and I agree.

Sorry yours didn’t seem to have that outlook.

Yes, your mum is an inverted snob. But you are also weird to name a flat. I happen to live in a small village where nine if the prooerties are numbered. I happen to live in one that has a very grand sounding name though it's a teeny, tiny, old terraced cottage. It's source of some embarrassment but...

"none of" not "nine if"

Not snobby, just quirky... Your DM is projecting her inferiority complex on you!

I am surprised that you were allowed to change it from a number completely.
My friend bought a detached cottage in a lane of detached cottages which all had numbers.
My friend (calls herself a snob) wanted a name not a number and this was agreed to ONLY if after the name the number was still always stated.

So 2, Pretty Lane became 'Rose Cottage' 2 Pretty Lane...... she did it too!

It’s not pretentious but it is bleeping annoying.

I have been that poor person who has to find “honeysuckle cottage, Birmingham”, in an emergency. Come on, give us a clue!! We get criticised if we can’t find it within an allocated time & could result in worse for the person needing help.

I think it's great you've done that. Why not personalize your home? You still have the flat number so no problem. It's nobody's else's business what you call your home (anymore than what colour dishes you choose).

This sounds like inverse snobbery to me. Your DM has a chip on her shoulder. Ignore her.

I think your mum needs to get a grip you can do what you want

You sound completely batshit, OP, but I like a bit of eccentricity. It's a shame that your DM doesn't appreciate it!