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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed my mum says I’m a snob for this

330 replies

BrendaBubbles · 05/10/2021 19:28

It’s relevant to note that I am from a working class background and last year I moved into a flat in an actually “naice” area of the northern town I grew up in. The number of the flat has “A” after it because it was originally the upstairs of a single Edwardian townhouse and the ground floor has the number only.. for example I have 69A and downstairs they have 69.

I thought having the A just looked a bit rubbish and a friend suggested that I could instead give the flat a name and register it with the post office and so on to use it officially. So I went through this rigmarole and my flat is now called something along the lines of Brenda Tower then the road name etc (not exactly that name due to privacy!)

I thought it was quite a fun thing to do but when I told my DM she went berserk and said she was disappointed because she hadn’t brought me up to be so snobby about something like an address and that moving to this part of town has made me into a worse person. I thought she was joking at first but she is really holding me in contempt for it and makes annoying references to how “posh” and “too good” I am at family gatherings and things. Other than having a nice flat in a nice area and giving it my own name, Am I actually being unreasonable?? Lots of people with cottages and things have house names so why can’t my flat?

OP posts:
driftcompatible · 05/10/2021 22:24

You named a RENTAL?!

That's not posh that's ... embarrassing.

You've given a grandiose and pretentious name to something you couldn't even afford to buy. Blush

lolliwillowes · 05/10/2021 22:24

the word snob in the title will guarantee this thread reaches 100 pages of comments. well done op!

Bounce55 · 05/10/2021 22:25

I know of a house named 'Costalot'
Total naffness
Just stick with numbers, easier to find etc

RandomMess · 05/10/2021 22:26

🤣

I can't believe the hate and angst over giving your property a name.

When I lived in part of a converted house I added a name as well as the number as people kept getting us mixed up (separate doors).

It's not snobby at all 🤷🏽‍♀️

Bounce55 · 05/10/2021 22:26

@driftcompatible

You named a RENTAL?!

That's not posh that's ... embarrassing.

You've given a grandiose and pretentious name to something you couldn't even afford to buy. Blush

I missed that bit Noooooooooooo 🤭🤣
lolliwillowes · 05/10/2021 22:28

@driftcompatible

You named a RENTAL?!

That's not posh that's ... embarrassing.

You've given a grandiose and pretentious name to something you couldn't even afford to buy. Blush

what a grotesque and tasteless comment, I very do detect a workin' class chip, maybe even an entire butty!

of course many renters choose to do so and have. the absolute right to have dignity and passion for their home. or would you prefer they were all Vicky pollards, so that you could feel better about marrying for security or being in lifelong debt to a bank?

moofolk · 05/10/2021 22:29

I love it.

You've named your home and I hope you love it too.

And if you want to see what snobby is @BrendaBubbles, it's the posh people on Mumsnet who are deriding you as chavvy / naff.

Sod them and sod your mum.

Viva Chez BrendaBubbles!

WineWine

StoneofDestiny · 05/10/2021 22:30

Your house, do what you want. You are harming nobody. Your mother has a problem - inverted snobbery.

me4real · 05/10/2021 22:32

I called something my 'town house' to someone once as a joke and they didn't realize I wasn't 100% seriious and accused me of being pretentious, which was annoying.

@driftcompatible Who is it hurting right now? I have a Temple Room in my council flat btw. It used to be a manky balcony but they just glassed it over. Everyone should be more whimsical if they want, make their everyday life more exotic.

driftcompatible · 05/10/2021 22:33

@lolliwillowes

I don't even understand that gibberish.

She's named a rental. It's bizarre. She's named something that belongs to someone else. THAT'S tasteless. Confused

PeriChristmas · 05/10/2021 22:33

@esloquehay

There's nothing posh about naming your property; it's incredibly nouveau riche, so I'd just ignore your Mum.
🤣
lolliwillowes · 05/10/2021 22:36

I would say the snobbery towards renting is more pungent in this thread than naming a property.

I once rented a beautiful cottage in the Lake District, had a severely wanky name that I could do nothing about Grin

But we are all different. I spend my days surrounded by trees and streams, painting landscapes for a living. I have never felt the need to won a property and pay a good deal for the privilege of being where I love.
Why is this considered worse than paying a bank until retirement and then not being able to pass the property on if you wind up in care? I would suggest we accept that we are not all motivated by the same concerns.

We will all be dead before we reach 100, most likely, so who fucking care about what we wont take with us? Security is one thing, but the passive aggressive bullying against anyone who doesn't follow a neat prescription, drone lifestyle is hilarious and tragic.

PeriChristmas · 05/10/2021 22:36

It's not snobby OP.
Your Mum ha a chip on her shoulder.
And so do lots of these posters 🤣

lolliwillowes · 05/10/2021 22:36

[quote driftcompatible]@lolliwillowes

I don't even understand that gibberish.

She's named a rental. It's bizarre. She's named something that belongs to someone else. THAT'S tasteless. Confused[/quote]
why is this worth shaming someone? are you ok?

me4real · 05/10/2021 22:42

Why is this considered worse than paying a bank until retirement and then not being able to pass the property on if you wind up in care? I would suggest we accept that we are not all motivated by the same concerns.

@lolliwillowes Yes and we don't all have the same resources and opportunites either, so we each make the best of what we have in our own way, or should.

Rainbowheart1 · 05/10/2021 22:48

It is snobby, you seem ashamed it’s a flat and people can tell as it has a A in it, so instead you’ve named it to make it less obvious it’s a flat.

I’ve never heard of anyone naming a flat, it’s very strange!

(Are you not worried of an accident where you need an ambulance and they can’t find your flat as it’s named?)

Method · 05/10/2021 22:50

I think naming a property is naff, especially when it's a flat, but changing it with the post office when it's not even yours is ridiculous and snobby.

I'd love to hear your mum's version of the story, I think she might have a point.

DixonD · 05/10/2021 22:52

@ZenNudist

Not snobby so yanbu about that, but silly. I think you made your own house harder to find. Presumably still need to use 69A so people can locate you on the road. So that's trouble for visitors, cabs, deliveries and the postie.
I thought that if your property has a number and you want to give it a name you can do so, but you still have to use the number (alongside the name) as your postal address. You can’t just remove the number.
Rainbowheart1 · 05/10/2021 22:52

It’s a rental! Oh dear, that makes it 50 times worse!

(And definitely embarrassing!) the poor owners too!!

longwayoff · 05/10/2021 22:57

I'm not sure your solution is refined enough OP. Round the corner from me is a desirable residence with Fifteen and a Half, elegantly stencilled upon its Georgian front door.

Windows01 · 05/10/2021 22:57

Are you sure she didn't miss the s off?

FreshFancyFrogglette · 05/10/2021 22:59

Do whatever makes you happy. Don't let her get to you. Am sure there is something that she does which makes you cringe, but you aren't insecure enough to bang on about it. Just try to ignore her.

PheasantsNest · 05/10/2021 23:03

I'm embarrassed for you OP. How cringeworthy.

saraclara · 05/10/2021 23:03

If someone I knew did that, I would think they were being pretentious.

Your mum thinks she’s losing you: that you’ll rise above your roots and look down on them (this is very very common and a not unrealistic fear).

That. You said yourself that the A looked "a bit rubbish". There's nothing wrong with an A after a number. Nothing that looks rubbish unless you think it signifies something lesser than a number on its own.

So I think you're being disingenuous. Yes your mum is overreacting, but let's not pretend you're not being pretentious, because you are. That was a lot of trouble to go to just so your flat doesn't have an A tagged onto the number.

RubyKitty · 05/10/2021 23:05

The village I grew up in only has house names. If I had a £ for every time someone stopped and asked where Hill View or Stream Cottage or The Barn were I would be rich enough to buy one of those houses 😀 A number is quite helpful in that way. The house I currently live in has both a name and a number so a perfect combination