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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed my mum says I’m a snob for this

330 replies

BrendaBubbles · 05/10/2021 19:28

It’s relevant to note that I am from a working class background and last year I moved into a flat in an actually “naice” area of the northern town I grew up in. The number of the flat has “A” after it because it was originally the upstairs of a single Edwardian townhouse and the ground floor has the number only.. for example I have 69A and downstairs they have 69.

I thought having the A just looked a bit rubbish and a friend suggested that I could instead give the flat a name and register it with the post office and so on to use it officially. So I went through this rigmarole and my flat is now called something along the lines of Brenda Tower then the road name etc (not exactly that name due to privacy!)

I thought it was quite a fun thing to do but when I told my DM she went berserk and said she was disappointed because she hadn’t brought me up to be so snobby about something like an address and that moving to this part of town has made me into a worse person. I thought she was joking at first but she is really holding me in contempt for it and makes annoying references to how “posh” and “too good” I am at family gatherings and things. Other than having a nice flat in a nice area and giving it my own name, Am I actually being unreasonable?? Lots of people with cottages and things have house names so why can’t my flat?

OP posts:
SinisterBumFacedCat · 06/10/2021 08:42

Your DM has massive reverse snobbery. I grew up in a small working class estate in a middle class area and there was always shit like this dished out to keep you in your place. It didn’t work.

CasperGutman · 06/10/2021 08:44

As I understood it you can add a "vanity" name to a property with a number but can't legally get rid of the number.

From www.goodhousekeeping.com/uk/consumer-advice/consumer-rights/a562128/how-do-i-rename-my-house/:

You can change a house name but legally you must keep the same number, if there is one, for identification purposes in an emergency. A house’s number must be clearly visible to all and used in all correspondence, even if it has a name as well.

Margerine78 · 06/10/2021 17:35

I have to admit as a working class girl myself, that when I see small houses or flats with names I think "snob". It strikes me as someone trying to copy massive estates or county cottages in the middle of nowhere that cost a fortune and have names. That's just my take though

Its your flat though, not sure why your mum was so angry about it.

IsleofRum · 06/10/2021 18:00

Why not have Fawlty towers, 69a Letsbe Ave for formal official mail, and Fawlty towers for less official. If you have the same postie, they will associate the name with the location.
Inverted snobbery is as bad if not worse than snobbery

panauchocolat · 06/10/2021 18:02

It can get complicated to find your home like others said.. but your mum should mind her own business to be honest.
There’s lots of idiots out there that do worst with personalised number plates which is ridiculous… what do they want to say, how exclusive their are ? 🤣

Lincslady53 · 06/10/2021 18:02

By all means give your house/flat a name but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE leave the number as well. It is a real PITA trying to deliver to houses, especially in the darker months coming up, if they do not have large, easy to read from the road side, numbers. Personally I would make it the law to have a large, standard sized number, as we have for cars, but designed to look good on a house, on all houses and flats. The amount of time that delivery drivers waste trying to deliver to a house with no number but a name instead.

mathanxiety · 06/10/2021 18:04

So where Americans name the streets, the Japanese name the blocks. You wouldn't like at 1170 something road, you'd live at House 1, block 1100. Find it fascinating.

Where I live, the streets are laid out in grids, forming neat blocks. The streets run N, S, E, W with the numbering arranged N or S of an e/w axis, or W of the street forming the boundary between the municipality and the city next door.

1100 North Something Road is eleven blocks north of the E/W street which is the axis.
800 W is eight blocks from the eastern city boundary.

If you are directed to the Dominos at 800 W, 1100 N, you know exactly what intersection to go to.

If you lived at 1170 N Something Road, you would live on the east side of that street, on the block whose numbers start with 1100. Even numbers are on the east side of the street, odd on the west.

Numbers start at the next 100 increment at the new block. Even if that last house number on the 1100 block was 1182, the next house north across the intersection would be 1200.

There are not that many houses on the E/W streets, but several businesses. Odd numbers are on the south side, even on the north.

Gilld69 · 06/10/2021 18:05

I've spent years telling my kids to become someone better than me to work hard move to a nice area get away from where we live, they've all done well and have stayed local but I would no way think they were posh or be annoyed, take it with a pinch of salt , you know who you are, enjoy your life x

Vynalbob · 06/10/2021 18:08

If I could vote for YABBU I would, the 2nd B =Both. Your mum for being way OTT but, although I'd just 👀🙄😳, it is a bit snobby...
If it was a little out of the way cottage called I dunno Bluebell Cottage it's understandable but half a house....like the old comedy
'The Bouquet Residence' (bucket) or another TV one
Dunroaming.

However I'd just
Ignore it, unless you keep getting problems with deliveries, she'll get over it.
If she doesn't just tell her to change the record coz the one she's got on is scratched (with a smile of course).

BunsyGirl · 06/10/2021 18:16

My house has a name and no number, as does every house in the rural hamlet that we live in. I would hate to go back to a number now, although it’s a pain when filling in address details for forms in other countries as it seems to be a U.K. quirk!

kikidee2015 · 06/10/2021 18:22

Do whatever the hell you want. If someone has a chip on their shoulder about it that is their problem

Hmm1234 · 06/10/2021 18:35

Your mom sounds like mine. Flat must be well nice and you’re a princess in her castle Wink
She is throwing a jab for no reason ignore it. Actually off to google about this home renaming service had no idea!

cherish123 · 06/10/2021 18:37

I don't think it makes you a snob. If it helps you with mail etc. do it. I think the A would be enough, though.

1forAll74 · 06/10/2021 18:44

Your Mother has a problem, and a silly mindset. Maybe she will get used to it eventually, no use showing much concern about this,

maybloss2 · 06/10/2021 18:48

Next time mum says owt. Tell her that she’s being chippy by not letting you forget it and making you feel out of place in your old home. You’re allowed to do daft things.
( yes I do think it’s daft, but who cares!)

Sendmetobarbados · 06/10/2021 19:08

Naming your flat seems a bit of an odd thing to do. Not snobby, but definitely odd.

I live in an Edwardian semi which still has the original house name carved into the original stone gate post, and it's never crossed my mind to use it in my address. Could never imagine inventing a property name for fun purposes (sorry!).

Sendmetobarbados · 06/10/2021 19:09

Saying that, your mum sounds like she has a giant chip on her shoulder.

Shell4429 · 06/10/2021 19:24

The house next door to me has the same number as mine but with an a. If my neighbour decided to give it a name I would find it hilariously pretentious.

IrishMel · 06/10/2021 19:26

Well done for getting your own place and you can name it whatever the hell you want. Why do other's get their knickers in a twist over what other people do if it does not directly involve them. She is the one with the issue and she should be proud of your achievements. I agree it is fun what you did and just laugh if any of the family have a go. It is your little palace and seems like your mum has a very negative attitude towards your achievements and could be envious which is very sad. Be happy and don't let other's drag you down. Well done xx

Staffy1 · 06/10/2021 19:28

Spell out the name in neon lights along the front. That will solve the both the problems of ambulances not knowing where you are and your mother thinking you are a snob.

Phoebesgift · 06/10/2021 19:44

Not snobbish but a bit dickish.
We rent too and would feel an absolute plonker asking our landlord to do this.

DaNcInGtEqUiLaCaT · 06/10/2021 19:49

My next-door neighbour called her house, 'The cottage'... Kept the number... Mines just the number and the pizza guy still gets muddled. 😂

Wannakisstheteacher · 06/10/2021 19:53

Oh yikes that’s so cringe. It’s super Hyacinth Bucket to give a flat a name - it makes you look a bit of a twat tbh.

Daffi · 06/10/2021 20:02

Great idea, I might do it, clearly few of the people on here live in a flat

CSIblonde · 06/10/2021 20:10

It's very "lower middle" class to me & a bit pretentious. I think I'd be embarrassed if I was your Mum. It sort of shrieks I want an old farmhouse or manor house so I'll name my flat like its one.