Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I complain to school about this?

200 replies

DigOlBick · 05/10/2021 12:10

Don’t know if I’m being Ott as I’m not a fan of social media in general.

Yesterday my 7 year old came home from school and asked if we could get TikTok. Obviously I said no and left it at that as I assumed some of her friends had been talking about it.

My partner asked her how she knew about it and she said that her TA was talking about it with them and talking about the different challenges that are on there. I’ve read a lot in the news about kids dying from stupid TikTok challenges and I’m quite shocked that an adult working in a class room of small children seems to be recommending videos to them.

My daughter is happy to not have any of these things, she has an iPad and is allowed Netflix and Disney and learning apps but she is not allowed YouTube or anything like that.

Would you complain to the school about this?

OP posts:
Cas112 · 05/10/2021 12:29

Not at all, thats crazy.

A lot of children have tik tok now and the TA was probably using it as a way to engage with them.

Original poster
DigOlBick · 05/10/2021 12:30

At 7 years old??

OP posts:
Summersun2020 · 05/10/2021 12:31

YABVU wow. So because you don’t want your child to have tiktok (which rightly or wrongly, a lot of her friends will have), her teachers should never mention it in front of her? 😂 get a grip.

smallybells · 05/10/2021 12:31

Why would you complain to school? She didn't encourage your child to download it, didn't show them inappropriate videos - simply talked about a popular social media platform. Also "small children" - they're 11/12!

99% of TikTok is people doing funny dances, makeup videos, challenges (which are mostly showing things like before and afters of looks, music lip synching or specific dances) etc. Obviously there are some inappropriate videos, but that's in a very small minority. I'm not sure what news you're reading but I'm not reading about mass tiktok deaths?

Ileflottante · 05/10/2021 12:31

🤦🏼‍♀️

Zarene · 05/10/2021 12:32

It needs to be discussed at school as a way to keep kids safe on it (obviously?).

smallybells · 05/10/2021 12:32
  • misread year 7 from 7 years old! Apologies
Generallystruggling · 05/10/2021 12:33

Crikey, year 7? I’m sure your DD is hearing all sorts at school, I know my year 7 DS is. I don’t allow Tiktok either but they’re all still well aware of what it is and have seen some dance challenges on YouTube. You need to unclench a little.

spikeyfish · 05/10/2021 12:33

You can't be serious.

Hermanfromguesswho · 05/10/2021 12:33

Talking about things that exist isn’t advertising them to the children.
Do you know what context they were discussing it in? Possibly a computing lesson? Or it arose from another relevant topic. Possibly the TA wasn’t even speaking approvingly of the challenges… 🤷

Ileflottante · 05/10/2021 12:33

Would you also complain about children being taught about consent and age-appropriate sex education, because it mentions sex? Or would you complain about someone mentioning wine in the presence of your child? Or speeding?

Dishwashersaurous · 05/10/2021 12:34

Tik tok has a legal age limit of 13. Date of birth before joining.

But you don't know exactly what the ta said and whether she was explaining about it and that it wasn't age appropriate for children

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 05/10/2021 12:35

Keeping them safe means explaining why you shouldn't copy things people are doing online...

Original poster
DigOlBick · 05/10/2021 12:36

Of course I wouldn’t object to sex education. This was a casual conversation where the TA was sat with the table while they were working and talking about TikTok videos. I just think it’s not appropriate to discuss that with 6 and 7 year olds.

OP posts:
Holskey · 05/10/2021 12:36

As a secondary school teacher, I would make reference to popular culture, especially if it was something the children were familiar with. Made me more human and there's no harm acknowledging the world we live in.

I don't think TAs and teachers should be introducing social media platforms to young children though, so yanbu. Does tiktok have age restrictions?

KingsleyShacklebolt · 05/10/2021 12:36

.I’ve read a lot in the news about kids dying from stupid TikTok challenges and I’m quite shocked that an adult working in a class room of small children seems to be recommending videos to them.

Don't tell fibs, you haven't read "a lot" about mass deaths of children from tik tok videos.

Now, if you'd said that you were concerned about social media for 7 year olds, or that it's a Chinese app and there are data concerns, or that the app says you have to be 13 to have an account, then you may have a point. But all that children are interested in doing is dancing to Drake or The Weeknd like they have seen the celebs doing.

And yes, you would be unreasonable to complain to the school.

Orangebonbon · 05/10/2021 12:37

Op is on about her 7 year old DD not her year 7 DD.

astoundedgoat · 05/10/2021 12:37

It's a social media platform, not smack.

I have it and it's great. I have thus far avoided risking death creating a #couchguy response video and I'm sure your 7yo's TA will be fine too.

Don't be that parent. Your daughter isn't allowed to have lots of things that she knows exist. Does she know that alcohol exists? Jobs? Money?

astoundedgoat · 05/10/2021 12:38

I’ve read a lot in the news about kids dying from stupid TikTok challenges lol

Dishwashersaurous · 05/10/2021 12:38

But you don't know what was said.

A child might have said that they were doing something on tik tok, and the ta could then have explained that it's not age appropriate etc etc.

Original poster
DigOlBick · 05/10/2021 12:38

Yes there are stories of children as young as 6 swallowing magnets that have been in the news. Some children have died from doing this. It’s all part of various online challenges. Just like the tide pod challenges and the ones where kids were kicking the legs out from under there friends. In a few years time I wouldn’t have a problem but she’s just turned 7.

OP posts:
SantanaBinLorry · 05/10/2021 12:41

I'm with you OP... Although I wouldnt complain.

Yr 7, yer... they're out there in the big bad world.
Age 7... wtf. No need to mention/include any kinda social media, especially 'challenges'
Teachers and TA's have been around for waaaay longer than the internet/SM I'm sure they can come up with less lazy ways to engage young people.

elenacampana · 05/10/2021 12:42

Don’t be the speech police OP, declaring what people can and can’t talk about. There was no ham done. The TA didn’t download TikTok to your child’s device or talk them through how to access it. It was a little chat, probably to engage with the kids and May well have been brought up by another child in the group. You weren’t there and it’s a non issue so no you shouldn’t go in all guns blazing with a ridiculous complaint.

MintJulia · 05/10/2021 12:45

Maybe the ta was explaining how some challenges are very silly and can be very dangerous, and that no-one should feel like they have to do this stuff. Also if they know of someone doing silly tiktok things, they should tell a teacher.

Forewarned .....

nomoneytreehere · 05/10/2021 12:45

I think this is inappropriate op. Yanbu. Lots of people will disagree though - Including parents of 6 and 7 year olds. I don't let my 13 year old have it as I think it is mindless and the algorithm is a bit disturbing. My kids junior school has been very clear that it doesn't approve of children having an account / access to an account so this would be frowned upon by my head.

Swipe left for the next trending thread