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Original poster

Should I complain to school about this?

200 replies

DigOlBick · 05/10/2021 12:10

Don’t know if I’m being Ott as I’m not a fan of social media in general.

Yesterday my 7 year old came home from school and asked if we could get TikTok. Obviously I said no and left it at that as I assumed some of her friends had been talking about it.

My partner asked her how she knew about it and she said that her TA was talking about it with them and talking about the different challenges that are on there. I’ve read a lot in the news about kids dying from stupid TikTok challenges and I’m quite shocked that an adult working in a class room of small children seems to be recommending videos to them.

My daughter is happy to not have any of these things, she has an iPad and is allowed Netflix and Disney and learning apps but she is not allowed YouTube or anything like that.

Would you complain to the school about this?

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 05/10/2021 13:57

I agree with you OP, I’m shocked at how many people think it’s ok for a 7 year old to have access to tiktok.

foxgoosefinch · 05/10/2021 14:00

*It's tricky for teaching staff to judge these things as it's all quite new and for anyone who is 30+ it wouldn't have been a thing at all when they were at primary school. Teaching staff are still feeling their way with it.

If other parents are upset about this as well, then take it forward and have a conversation with the school about how they approach teaching children about social media.*

Teaching staff aren’t “just feeling their way with it” - there are detailed (about tobe) statutory guidelines about how and what they teach on this and the relationship with safeguarding obligations. (I’m a primary school PSHE link governor.) The school should have a detailed curriculum and policy on this already and if they don’t, they’d better get one smartly.

But I suspect that they do, and the TA is not on message with this and a quiet word is needed with someone.

Starlightstarbright1 · 05/10/2021 14:00

Reality kids at 7 are on tick tok..

I have a secondary school child. I think hearing about these things from adults is important.

I also think a 7 year old should be supervised on Sm.

PiglingBland1 · 05/10/2021 14:07

@Starlightstarbright1

Reality kids at 7 are on tick tok..

I have a secondary school child. I think hearing about these things from adults is important.

I also think a 7 year old should be supervised on Sm.

7 year olds should be playing on scooters, building lego, climbing trees, reading, painting etc not on social media. It's extremely depressing.
Saoirse82 · 05/10/2021 14:13

@Lovemusic33

I agree with you OP, I’m shocked at how many people think it’s ok for a 7 year old to have access to tiktok.
That's not what people are saying though. Don't think I've actually read one post on the thread saying that Confused
NewlyGranny · 05/10/2021 14:17

I'm sharing your concern, OP. If the TA was chatting to a group of 7yo children about his/her videos uploaded to a platform they can't legally use for another 5 or 6 years in such a way that your child wanted to see them, something isn't right.

If the TA was shutting down inappropriate discussion and directing the children back to their maths work with a safety warning about SM sites with age limits way above their age, fair enough.

It doesn't sound like a warning chat, though. You won't be allowed access to the TA concerned, of course, but you could usefully start by asking your DD's class teacher to find out what was said to your DD (don't mention the others in the group - they are not your concern).

I'd be asking how your DD is being educated about safe internet use.

As for the people saying let the little ones have TikTok and warn them about the challenges, I think that's most unwise! You couldn't possibly warn a 7yo about all the daft crazes that will be spread on TikTok and you'd be on it all day monitoring the latest insanity. It's for 13+ for very good reasons.

Yes, some parents will let their 7yo on TikTok to explore suicide posts or give them a smartphone to receive porn or let them play GTA where they can play at raping and murdering women. Doesn't mean you can't parent properly and protect your child from the worst that C21st technology can do to them!

LateDecemberBackInLowB12 · 05/10/2021 14:18

@Lovemusic33

I agree with you OP, I’m shocked at how many people think it’s ok for a 7 year old to have access to tiktok.
Knowing about, and having access to are two completely different things.
SouthSideSally · 05/10/2021 14:19

I also think that it is innappropriate for a teaching assistant to be promoting an app that has an age restriction of 13 to a group of 6 or 7 year olds. I wouldn't complain but I would talk to my child about why I wasn't happy for them to have it. I think you're getting a hard time on here but I also think that lots of parents get a bit defensive when it's pointed out to them that the apps they happily let their children use are really not appropriate or particularly good for them.

Bettyboopawoop · 05/10/2021 14:22

Schools are always discussing internet safety, this may have been one of those discussions, I don't find it a Biggie to be honest.

RowanAlong · 05/10/2021 14:27

Seven year olds - no way. They don’t need to be introduced to social media!

RowanAlong · 05/10/2021 14:28

That will happen in its own sweet time with all the angst it brings ...

Twizbe · 05/10/2021 14:29

I can see your point. I don't have tiktok and won't be getting it any time soon... but.. I think this isn't a battle to fight.

Likely it was just something to say from the TA. Your daughter asked, you said no, daughter accepted that... all done and dusted.

I noticed you said no YouTube though. I'd reconsider this. There are so many good educational videos on there. My son LOVES trains and tubes and watches all of Geoff Marshall videos. He's his absolute hero.

CoastalWave · 05/10/2021 14:37

She actually has Netflix but you're not happy about 'hearing' about TikTok?

Give your head a wobble.

BiLuminous · 05/10/2021 14:38

My kids don't have Facebook or Twitter. They know they exist though, and sometimes I show them the odd funny/cute video I see on there.I recently got Tiktok and I'll show them the odd video from it that if I think it is suitable, but they aren't allowed it. It's not the same as having it and exploring it with an innocent mind and seeing things you shouldn't see.
So no, I don't think the TA did anything wrong talking about it really. Pretending SM doesn't exist is a bit silly. 7 year olds aren't stupid.

Henio · 05/10/2021 14:41

@DigOlBick

Why would my daughter lie?

She just said that the TA was talking about the videos she uploads and she wanted to see them. I said no, we don’t have TikTok, she’s too little.

Maybe she uploads educational ones? I don't agree with her talking to 7yr olds about it though
FatBettyintheCoop · 05/10/2021 14:44

My understanding is that TA’s are classroom helpers and have limited training with regards to online safety, so I’m not surprised that she didn’t think it through before mentioning it to the children. Hmm

However, I do think you should mention it to the teacher and HT about her recommending an App to children who are quite a bit younger than the minimum age recommended for that App. They presumably aren’t aware of her doing this?

DS is 12 and he doesn’t have it as I think it’s content is problematic.

BreatheAndFocus · 05/10/2021 14:44

@DigOlBick

Why would my daughter lie?

She just said that the TA was talking about the videos she uploads and she wanted to see them. I said no, we don’t have TikTok, she’s too little.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. I think the TA sounds pretty immature actually. Why was she talking about TikTok during a school lesson? And mentioning the videos she uploads is off too as it’s guaranteed to make those young children want to see.

I wouldn’t complain but I would mention it discreetly in a non-complaining way to the class teacher as I think it’s inappropriate to be doing that at work and with such young children. It would make me wonder how professional she was being about other aspects of the job.

mogtheexcellent · 05/10/2021 14:49

I would say something to the teacher. I think it was innocently done but not a great idea.

My 7yo doesnt know what tik tok is and it should stay that way for at least a couple more years.

Original poster
DigOlBick · 05/10/2021 14:51

Where have I said that she’s doesn’t know social media exists? She knows it exists she’s just not allowed on it.

She can have the odd YouTube video if it’s out on by one of us but she’s not allowed on it herself. She did for a bit but she ended up watching these ridiculous videos of grown adults playing with Anna and Elsa dolls and it was just creepy and weird. And he behaviour was appalling when she was on it.

Not sure what the issue with Netflix is. She’s on the kids account.

OP posts:
slashlover · 05/10/2021 14:51

If you type children dying from TikTok challenges on google you will get pages and pages of stories. These challenges are stupid and I hate that these platforms make it so accessible and desirable for children to follow a trend.

I googled and got lots of articles about the same incident - a 12 year old who died from the blackout trend.

JSL52 · 05/10/2021 14:53

@Generallystruggling

Crikey, year 7? I’m sure your DD is hearing all sorts at school, I know my year 7 DS is. I don’t allow Tiktok either but they’re all still well aware of what it is and have seen some dance challenges on YouTube. You need to unclench a little.
Aged 7.
orangeautumnleaves · 05/10/2021 14:54

I don't think a complaint is necessary but you could maybe ask the teacher how it came up in conversation in the class.

Your daughter will get to hear of many things that you won't want her to have/be involved in. The stance I take with my 9 yr old is pretty much all parents are different and some will be happy for x but I am not and give her an age appropriate reason. It'll get worse as she gets older as her sphere of influence widens, you cannot stop it but you can inform and educate her.

BiLuminous · 05/10/2021 14:55

Did the TA tell her to get Tiktok? Or instruct her to do a challenge? If she did, complain. If she didn't then get a grip.

1forAll74 · 05/10/2021 14:55

I would not allow this Tik Tok, whatever it is. I am not sure how young school age children managed to get through their young school days, without all this screen crap, but they did, when my two children went to school in 1980's era.Their schooldays were all about proper educational lessons. It's not old fashioned, children's minds didn't get bogged up with any social media crap stuff then.

Morgan12 · 05/10/2021 14:56

Let your 7 year old have kids youtube at least!

She will be left behind by her peers. Youtube is life for these kids. They don't watch TV etc. It's all about the youtubers.

It's a different world now. Get with the flow because you are only harming her.