Should I complain to school about this?

[DigOlBick]

Don’t know if I’m being Ott as I’m not a fan of social media in general.

Yesterday my 7 year old came home from school and asked if we could get TikTok. Obviously I said no and left it at that as I assumed some of her friends had been talking about it.

My partner asked her how she knew about it and she said that her TA was talking about it with them and talking about the different challenges that are on there. I’ve read a lot in the news about kids dying from stupid TikTok challenges and I’m quite shocked that an adult working in a class room of small children seems to be recommending videos to them.

My daughter is happy to not have any of these things, she has an iPad and is allowed Netflix and Disney and learning apps but she is not allowed YouTube or anything like that.

Would you complain to the school about this?

Apparently the TA was talking about their own personal TikTok and the videos they upload to it. I just don’t think this is appropriate conversation for small children while they’re doing their maths work

Pick your battles OP, this really isn't one of them.

Don't tell fibs, you haven't read "a lot" about mass deaths of children from tik tok videos.

You’re the one telling fibs. OP said nothing about mass deaths.

If you type children dying from TikTok challenges on google you will get pages and pages of stories. These challenges are stupid and I hate that these platforms make it so accessible and desirable for children to follow a trend.

I don't think it's a minority of inappropriate videos. I have an account myself and upload content and I'd say quite a few times a day there's content on my FYP that's totally unsuitable for a seven year old child.

I know a couple of parents who have their own accounts and show their primary school videos they've seen themselves relating to hobbies and daft dance challenges but they don't have their own accounts and they don't have unsupervised access to the parents phone to sit and search stuff.

There's PE teachers on there who upload classroom content with the kids doing the dance challenge stuff and the kids do look like they're having a great time but I wouldn't my seven year old having their own account on any social media.

She said she had read "a lot about kids dying". That is not true, because there are not lots of kids dying, so therefore not "a lot" to read about.

@KingsleyShacklebolt

She said she had read "a lot about kids dying". That is not true, because there are not lots of kids dying, so therefore not "a lot" to read about.

And again, she didn’t say there were lots of kids dying. She said she had read a lot about it. Your reading comprehension needs work.

@DigOlBick I’m with you on this too. I have daughters of a similar age to yours who are desperate to have phones and go on tik tok because some of their friends have their own phones and do til tok videos. It’s insanely irresponsible for a child so you to have unsupervised access to smart phones which I know in at least one case a child has: ever so slightly older at age 9 but I’d be really annoyed if at school it was discussed and other kids joining in because it weakens my stance as a parent who is saying no as they’re not ready

DS's school regularly reminds us of the importance of checking the suitability of apps, games and social media, stressing the age ratings and risks.

I think the head would have a dim view of teachers or TAs talking about social media platforms to under age infant children.

I know some of her classmates have their own phones. I’m just hoping she’s not being shown anything bad. I remember being shown porn on a mobile phone from a classmate when I was very young and it was very upsetting. I just want her to enjoy being 7 and not worry about stupid videos.

I am a teacher and would not expect a TA to instigate a conversation about TikTok in the classroom (although it does come up in esafety lessons).

However, it is sometimes instigated by the children and it is then a case of politely closing down the conversation as kindly as possible.

For example, my last conversation was because a child was humming 'I love rock and roll' and another child made reference to Lad Baby's spoof cover. They then asked me if I ever used TikTok and I said that I didn't but that my children did. We had a brief, appropriate conversation about stuff they were already aware of.

If you are going to complain, do so in a way that won't make you feel like a dick if any of your facts are wrong.

I think that the issue here is that you don't know exactly what was said and whether it was a closing down the topic age appropriate discussion or something else.

If the TA were recommending TikTok to 7 year-olds, you would definitely not be unreasonable to complain. 'Mentioning' it is different though. A 7 year-old cannot be shielded from mere mentioning of things they are not yet old enough to do or have.

It is ok for them to know of the existence of TIkTok and the kinds of things which are typically on there, and that some of it is inappropriate for children, and that even if some of it isn't inappropriate per se, they are too young to have social media accounts. It is parents' job to navigate and control this. My dc (and some of my students) know that I like Game of Thrones. That doesn't mean I'm telling them to watch it God forbid.

And again, she didn’t say there were lots of kids dying. She said she had read a lot about it. Your reading comprehension needs work.

How rude. Does it make you feel big and clever to insult people you don't know on MN?

Nothing wrong with my reading comprehension anyway. The OP is clearly trying to stoke up fever about this uber-dangerous app, which encourages tiny children into very risky dangerous behaviour which kills some of them, and trying to justify her displeasure with her child's teaching assistant.

Whereas she could have just explained to her child that the TA is an adult, so is allowed to have TikTok. Children can't have it, but might still be able to watch videos created by people on other social media platforms.

Yanbu OP, you’ll get lots of people on this thread saying there’s no problem with it but Tiktok is full of content not remotely suitable for a 7 y o (and it’s an age limit of 13 to join). Plenty of teenage stuff on there including some odd gender, porn and suicide chat/discourse that you don’t remotely want your kid coming across at that age. There was an incident a year or so ago when a graphic clip of suicide was inserted into some apparently innocuous videos circulating on Tiktok. I use a few youth social media platforms and am regularly sent hardcore porn links / weird stuff unsolicited. My 8 y o DD is not getting anywhere near it and a TA should not be talking about it with kids of that age.

I’d mention discreetly to school. TAs don’t have the extent of training that teachers do and they can occasionally not quite get what is or isn’t appropriate - we had some problems one year with a male TA who was keen to discuss his rather unorthodox opinions on sexism with year 2 and 3 children and a quick discreet word to the classroom teacher / head of year was required. Your safeguarding leads will not be keen on promoting those apps to 7 y olds - they take e-safety very seriously in primary schools or should do.

Yabu. It exists. You can't pretend it doesn't. You don't have to let your daughter use it, but to complain about a Ta discussing it is madness.

Agree with you @DigOlBick The TA should not be promoting something that has a 13 age restriction on to 7 year olds. Very ill-advised.

@DigOlBick

Of course I wouldn’t object to sex education. This was a casual conversation where the TA was sat with the table while they were working and talking about TikTok videos. I just think it’s not appropriate to discuss that with 6 and 7 year olds.

So you were in the classroom at the time and know that for a fact?

Unless the teacher was telling the kids about swallowing batteries or other challenges have resulted in the deaths of kids yabu.

Do you never mention anything in front of your kids that they are too young for?

She was probably just on about daft dances or whatever.

Why would my daughter lie?

She just said that the TA was talking about the videos she uploads and she wanted to see them. I said no, we don’t have TikTok, she’s too little.

@DigOlBick

I know some of her classmates have their own phones. I’m just hoping she’s not being shown anything bad. I remember being shown porn on a mobile phone from a classmate when I was very young and it was very upsetting. I just want her to enjoy being 7 and not worry about stupid videos.

What in school? How old are you? What young primary school kids had phones, at school that had access to the Internet when you would have been at school? Im only 30 and no one I knew had a phone that could do that when I was at school

They could even store videos

I’m younger than you. Yes we had mobile phones in junior school that you could text videos on.

@DigOlBick

Why would my daughter lie?

She just said that the TA was talking about the videos she uploads and she wanted to see them. I said no, we don’t have TikTok, she’s too little.

Yeah like the daft dance challenges etc. I highly doubt the TA was talking about anything dangerous. I'm also almost certain the TA wouldn't have been the one to bring it up.

OP, this might be an unpopular opinion on here but I would be concerned about a TA chatting to 7 year olds about Tik Tok challenges too. I have a child in year 7 and a 6 year old. The child in year 7 is aware of Tik Tok (though doesn't have access), the 6 year old is not and I hope will not be for some time. The age minimum for using Tik Tok is 13 as it has some very mature content. That said, a lot of people take a very relaxed approach to children using social media and so the TA may not be out of step with others in her social circle on talking about this to the children. But that doesn't make it okay in school. I would not necessarily recommend complaining about the TA. But it might be worth having a quiet word with a member of the SLT to share your concerns that it's inappropriate and checking whether they cover in the inset day and safeguarding training, considerations around using age appropriate references in the classroom. You might be able to get school to catch this and ensure all staff know they shouldn't be encouraging children to use social media etc. without getting the individual in trouble (as they just may not have thought it through).