Should I complain to school about this?

[DigOlBick]

Don’t know if I’m being Ott as I’m not a fan of social media in general.

Yesterday my 7 year old came home from school and asked if we could get TikTok. Obviously I said no and left it at that as I assumed some of her friends had been talking about it.

My partner asked her how she knew about it and she said that her TA was talking about it with them and talking about the different challenges that are on there. I’ve read a lot in the news about kids dying from stupid TikTok challenges and I’m quite shocked that an adult working in a class room of small children seems to be recommending videos to them.

My daughter is happy to not have any of these things, she has an iPad and is allowed Netflix and Disney and learning apps but she is not allowed YouTube or anything like that.

Would you complain to the school about this?

I heard of a child dying from swallowing magnets way before tiktok days!

My dsc had it at age 7 their dm gave them old phone to do it. But is monitored on what videos are watched.

@Coyoacan

It looks like the people who are most in favour children being on social media have the least reading comprehension. I wonder why?

That's uncalled for

I think you need to have more confidence in your own parenting. You have said no, she accepted it. She will be exposed to tonnes of references to social media. My 7yo was watching his teacher do science videos on YouTube during lockdown. He then asked to go on YouTube himself. I said no and we all moved on.

You are making something out of nothing here.

Unfortunately parents are allowing primary children to watch TikTok without realising there’s a reason for the age limit.I went on it for a couple of weeks and I got all sorts-including how to strangle someone during sex!! This man was taking questions from clearly very young teenage girls-had already been banned and then popped up again using a new name.I didn’t go looking for any of this stuff either-before anyone goes on about algorithms - I watched smiths same self absorbed people talking about themselves-I saw people with learning disabilities which was great until people were commenting terrible things about them.I gave up watching in the end-it was like watching the worst of humanity.
No way should a child have access to it unless their parent is sat with them watching.and that’s not going to happen is it?

I'd have a chat with the teacher about your concerns. I don't think it's age appropriate to dicuss TikTok with 7 year olds.

Watch www.imdb.com/title/tt1285016/ The Social Network, it's eye opening. All these platforms are developed to hook you and make you want to check again and again and again and again. New message alerts trigger a dopamine release in your brain, the "reward" neurotransmitter. People who work for the tech industry are often the ones who are most careful about the dc's digital experience (and their own).

It's not great for adults let alone very young children. The more they spend time on SM and Youtube, the more sedentary they are. When they record themselves doing stupid stuff, 'challenges' they lose the carefreeness of childhood where you do stuff just for fun, now it's all for an audience and kids' brains are still developing and highly sensitive to acceptance and rejection. None of this sounds great for their long term mental health and physical health.

Tiktok is an unfiltered stream of crap videos and dc will most likely come across very inappropriate stuff. It's a bit fucked up really.

I taught a class of 7/8/9 year olds and the vast majority of them had TikTok. Their parents had access to and managed the content for the most part and what they were viewing was dance routines. My 6yo has asked for it and been told no. That's my choice. But equally it is discussed in class by children and they often recreate the dances at break. I have no idea how many times they asked if I had a TikTok and could they follow me. No and no, but it's not really any different to saying in passing that you saw something on Facebook or Instagram.

Maybe 'youtube is life' for 7 year olds if they've had a smart phone stuck in their hands as soon as they were able to hold things

YANBU to be concerned. TikTok is not for 7 year olds and has a lot of grown up and troubling content on it. The TA was not just mentioning TikTok in passing, she was discussing videos she makes and uploads, obviously that's going to peak a child's attention and encourage them to be interested in it. I don't know that I would formally complain but I don't think it's right for TAs to be encouraging the use of a 13+ app to 7 year old children.

Also, I was in year 6 15 years ago and many kids in my class had phones that could share videos. It was definitely a thing. A boy in my class showed me porn that he had filmed from his computer screen using his phone. Parents should absolutely be closely monitoring their children's tech and social media use, in this day and age I think it's negligent not to.

OP, I'd say something constructive to the school. A good school will want feedback from parents. The TA probably isn't aware of the detrimental effects Tiktok has on kids, maybe she's new and needs support and training. During lockdown school kids were using iPads in the classroom. The TA left the kids alone for 5 minutes and all the 6 and 7 year old boys went to watch some quit scary stuff on YouTube. Lessons were learned as some kids were shocked by the content these boys were accessing. The boys who accessed it were hardened and not phased apparently. I wouldn't want that for my kids.

Your child only 7 so agree with you as so many parents let their kids have free reign as easy parenting for them. Talk to your daughter and explain that this is for older children and talk to her in general about social media. I also agree with the parent who said the teacher could engage with the children more doing other things but seems like lazy teaching also. They grow up so fast and at 7 she is still a child and very young. So lots of time to enter that world of madness where a lot of it does have a very negative effect on young people and some are very impressionable and just copy what others do. But do talk to her about the good and not so good side of it all. Hard as she may feel left out if the only one not doing it but as others said it is age 13 to register. So difficult but you know what is best for your child. But I would not talk to the teacher as could make things difficult for your little one.

I wouldn't want some empty headed numpty of a TA who 'isn't aware of the detrimental effects' of tiktok on 7 year olds

There is a big difference between a member of staff responding to a question from a child or group of children, and encouraging use of an unsuitable app.

They all know what TikTok is as it comes up in esafety discussions, where we also talk about age restrictions.

I would strongly encourage you to ask about the encounter rather than jumping straight to a complaint. Your child may not be lying, but context and perception are everything.

If you ask the question and your fears are confirmed, she started the conversation, she encouraged them to use it, then yes complain away.

Someone once complained about me encouraging children to watch Game of Thrones. Because I had my hair in a plait and a child said I looked like a character. I said something noncommittal that was blown out of all proportion.

I do sometimes wonder if some parents think that teachers and TAs are robots that are just taken out of the cupboard every morning and programmed to talk only about the curriculum. How well do you think your children would engage with us if we were? We have a human, and preferably appropriately friendly, relationship with the kids. Believe it or not, that often involves bits of chat about interests, activities, pets, jokes, all sorts. Sometimes even in lesson time . It makes school a more positive and enjoyable place for us all and helps with learning. Mentioning things is not the same as saying 'do these things'.

Your DD is 7 of course you are not being unreasonable!

Mentioning things is not the same as saying 'do these things'. It entirely tends if the AT was making TikTok sound cool. A teacher or TA's endorsement carries lots of weight for impressionable kids. I don't think you should complain OP, just make the school aware so they don't accidentally promote TikTok usage.

I wouldn't want some empty headed numpty of a TA who 'isn't aware of the detrimental effects' of tiktok on 7 year olds Well that's one way of putting it (;

@Dishwashersaurous

Tik tok has a legal age limit of 13. Date of birth before joining.

But you don't know exactly what the ta said and whether she was explaining about it and that it wasn't age appropriate for children

This.

there is a legal age limit to it.

The TA might have been discussing the dangers of being on line - my 7 had it.

However there will be a blanket ban of tictok in my house. Facebook/insta/and tick tock is dreadful for children mental health. In fact I have just watched the senate in U.S questioning a Facebook whistle blower on tv this afternoon on the fact Facebook know it is damaging children health and are actively setting up methods to hook children in for their financial longevity.

I also have an 17 year year old girl that works with me and the shite she shows me on there. She is obsessed with tiktok and believes all the shite she reads on it.

I would mention it to the teacher - maybe the TA is new and hasn't had training on e-safety.

@lazylinguist

I do sometimes wonder if some parents think that teachers and TAs are robots that are just taken out of the cupboard every morning and programmed to talk only about the curriculum. How well do you think your children would engage with us if we were? We have a human, and preferably appropriately friendly, relationship with the kids. Believe it or not, that often involves bits of chat about interests, activities, pets, jokes, all sorts. Sometimes even in lesson time . It makes school a more positive and enjoyable place for us all and helps with learning. Mentioning things is not the same as saying 'do these things'.

There is a huge difference between not being a robot and topics that just aren’t appropriate.

Chat to the children about Halloween, pets, books, holidays, siblings, gardening, parks, weekend activities like swimming and soft play and cinema.

Tiktoc? No.

I occasionally refer to having a glass of wine or going to the pub with my family on the weekend but I'm not encouraging the children to do it.

Honestly, a massive difference between talking about your own life - especially if instigated by a child - and encouraging inappropriate behaviours.

I took my 7 year old to the circus and there was a joke about TikTok. I marched us all out then and there. Totally inappropriate. It shouldn’t be mentioned until 9. It’s a secret

YANBU - schools shouldn't be promoting utter nonsense like TikTok to seven year olds. Yes, your DD will doubtless hear about it from her friends, but an authority figure like a TA will lend an air of legitimacy to it which it doesn't deserve, and her endorsement will make it harder for you to refuse.

@DigOlBick

If it was part of a discussion about social media and internet usage that would be absolutely fine. That’s important and I think schools should do as much as they can to monitor what media the children are consuming. But this was a causal conversation between TA and a group of 4 children about her own personal TikTok account. I just don’t feel that’s appropriate. Even if a child had bought it up, I feel the TA should have said yes some people have TikTok for sharing videos and leave it at that.

So annoying

@Lovemusic33

I agree with you OP, I’m shocked at how many people think it’s ok for a 7 year old to have access to tiktok.

No one is saying that. It's about whether or not the conversation is appropriate.

Every response here is moot because we don't actually know what was said or the context.