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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should I complain to school about this?

200 replies

DigOlBick · 05/10/2021 12:10

Don’t know if I’m being Ott as I’m not a fan of social media in general.

Yesterday my 7 year old came home from school and asked if we could get TikTok. Obviously I said no and left it at that as I assumed some of her friends had been talking about it.

My partner asked her how she knew about it and she said that her TA was talking about it with them and talking about the different challenges that are on there. I’ve read a lot in the news about kids dying from stupid TikTok challenges and I’m quite shocked that an adult working in a class room of small children seems to be recommending videos to them.

My daughter is happy to not have any of these things, she has an iPad and is allowed Netflix and Disney and learning apps but she is not allowed YouTube or anything like that.

Would you complain to the school about this?

OP posts:
3scape · 05/10/2021 14:58

School have just sent out a warning here about yet another sick trend that someone has started encouraging kids to do.

It is important for children to be IT savy. Savy does not mean screen zombie with zero social skills.

Spanglemum · 05/10/2021 15:02

I would have a quiet word with the teacher. I had a lot of problems with my child when they on TikTok. They have ALN and mental health diffs though.
That said sometimes teachers or other school staff will talk about things you don't agree with and you just have to say 'we don't believe that, we don't do that'

Original poster
DigOlBick · 05/10/2021 15:10

My child is not being harmed because she’s not allowed on YouTube ffs.

OP posts:
PillowRight · 05/10/2021 15:11

I also think a 7 year old should be supervised on Sm.
A 7 year old has no business using SM. Seriously!

Macncheeseballs · 05/10/2021 15:13

Morgan12, are you for real?

PillowRight · 05/10/2021 15:15

@Morgan12

Let your 7 year old have kids youtube at least!

She will be left behind by her peers. Youtube is life for these kids. They don't watch TV etc. It's all about the youtubers.

It's a different world now. Get with the flow because you are only harming her.

Sure, if you want you poor dc to have the attention span of a gnat and be persitently bombarded with highly questionable information and audio visual impressions 'memories' while their personally and brain are at their most receptive, laying down the foundations for their whole life.... sure let them crack on with Youtube influencers.

We give this a miss. Ours aren't socially inept, the'll do SM when their brains have matured enough.

CanICelebrate · 05/10/2021 15:17

YABVU to complain about the TA.

PiglingBland1 · 05/10/2021 15:22

@Morgan12

Let your 7 year old have kids youtube at least!

She will be left behind by her peers. Youtube is life for these kids. They don't watch TV etc. It's all about the youtubers.

It's a different world now. Get with the flow because you are only harming her.

I do not believe other than watching something educational with parental supervision YouTube is at all appropriate for a 7 year old. Even the kids YouTube gets weird stuff on it. Bombarded with commercials etc. They are not going to be left behind, YouTube will hardly take years to figure out. OP is pretty far from harming her daughter. She is being developmentally appropriate.
PiglingBland1 · 05/10/2021 15:26

@pillowright is right about memories. My memories at around 7 are bike riding, climbing trees, spending hours reading, playing with dolls etc. I find it a bit sad many childhood memories will be hours watching people open kinder eggs online or whatever it is that's popular at the moment.

MrsRobbieHart · 05/10/2021 15:28

How rude. Does it make you feel big and clever to insult people you don't know on MN?

Actually I never would have said anything at all had you not been so rude and incorrectly called her a liar.

CoffeeWithCheese · 05/10/2021 15:30

Mine (ever so slightly older but the younger one has ASD, probably ADHD and is generally very emotionally young for her age) are allowed YouTube with speakers on in the family areas of the house downstairs - so we can keep an ear on what they're watching. I've spoken to them about how the sites are designed to keep you watching for advertiser revenue, about the algorithms and danger that it could pull you into something unpleasant, about how to tackle things and why we have the "downstairs only" rule about internet devices. They get it enough to know - although they whine bitterly that they can't sit and watch StampyFuckingPrestonSqueallyWomanArsehole wall to wall in bedrooms all night.

Tiktok I recently installed on my own phone - and my feed is crafting videos and stupid dog and cat clips - so I'm semi-OK with my 9 year old seeing MY FYP feed - but I'd never let her have access to her own at the moment and she knows this... so she just YouTubes up the stupid dance crazes and watches the videos of them on there to learn them instead.

So far both kids have come to me with an open chat log any time anything's been seen online that made them uncomfortable - in one case a friend swearing at them in continuation of a squabble that had gone on in school (over some fucking lolly sticks) and someone saying something unkind on Animal Crossing for fuck's sake - so at the moment the internet safety thing seems to be sinking in with them.

I got pissed when their previous school was egging the kids on to produce YouTube videos for the school to upload - when I had spent the previous months insisting DD1 was NOT getting a YouTube channel and "YouTuber" was not a good career plan!

Closetbeanmuncher · 05/10/2021 15:31

I agree 7 is way too young to have tiktok.

supermoonrising · 05/10/2021 15:44

it was part of a discussion about social media and internet usage that would be absolutely fine. That’s important and I think schools should do as much as they can to monitor what media the children are consuming. But this was a causal conversation between TA and a group of 4 children about her own personal TikTok account. I just don’t feel that’s appropriate. Even if a child had bought it up, I feel the TA should have said yes some people have TikTok for sharing videos and leave it at that

I agree with your last sentence. But it’s hard to know exactly the context in which it was discussed without being there in the classroom. I would feel annoyed too, but I certainly wouldn’t complain. Even if the TA got it wrong on this occasion - it happens. Teachers and TAs get things wrong occasionally - they face literally 100+ questions every day, and will not always get the angle of their response spot on.

supermoonrising · 05/10/2021 15:46

And of course it’s more challenging in a sense than an office environment, as kids will often throw random questions/areas at them, often completely out of the blue - religion, relationships, the internet, terrorism etc etc. It ain’t easy.

supermoonrising · 05/10/2021 15:48

Let your 7 year old have kids youtube at least! She will be left behind by her peers. Youtube is life for these kids. They don't watch TV etc. It's all about the youtubers. It's a different world now. Get with the flow because you are only harming her.
(“this advert was brought to you by Google LLC”)

christinarossetti19 · 05/10/2021 15:50

I wouldn't complain to the school, just say to dd that she's too young for TikTok and explain why.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 05/10/2021 15:50

It’s not appropriate for 6-7 year olds to have an age restricted form of social media which they are 7 years too young for being brought to their attention by a TA but as you don’t know what exactly was said, I’d just leave it.
I wouldn’t be impressed either though.

ittakes2 · 05/10/2021 15:51

You are getting a lot of backlash. But my daughter's high school recommends against tick tok for the sexualising of young teens. The IT department went through their accounts and picked up quite a few girls dancing sexily in their school uniforms which as you can imagine when down like a lead balloon with the head mistress! She can't stop them dancing sexily but they no longer do it in their school uniforms that's for sure!

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 05/10/2021 15:53

Youtube is life for these kids.

This is the saddest thing I’ve seen written for a long time.

Steelesauce · 05/10/2021 15:57

Even my 3 year old knows what tiktok is. Its not a crime to mention a form of social media.

Jellycatspyjamas · 05/10/2021 16:01

If you have the opportunity I’d speak to the class teacher who might be able to give some context (and offer feedback to the TA about being more careful about social media). I don’t think it was appropriate for her to be talking to 7 year olds about doing Tik Tok challenges etc regardless of parents who might allow their DC to use it.

And how absurd to think “You Tube is life” for primary aged children, I’d hope they have much more going on than endless You Tube.

Takemetothe90s · 05/10/2021 16:01

@dannydyerismydad

DS's school regularly reminds us of the importance of checking the suitability of apps, games and social media, stressing the age ratings and risks.

I think the head would have a dim view of teachers or TAs talking about social media platforms to under age infant children.

Yep, that would happen at my child’s school too, but this is Mumsnet and teachers can do no wrong…
Coyoacan · 05/10/2021 16:03

It looks like the people who are most in favour children being on social media have the least reading comprehension. I wonder why?

godmum56 · 05/10/2021 16:09

@smallybells

Why would you complain to school? She didn't encourage your child to download it, didn't show them inappropriate videos - simply talked about a popular social media platform. Also "small children" - they're 11/12!

99% of TikTok is people doing funny dances, makeup videos, challenges (which are mostly showing things like before and afters of looks, music lip synching or specific dances) etc. Obviously there are some inappropriate videos, but that's in a very small minority. I'm not sure what news you're reading but I'm not reading about mass tiktok deaths?

not year 7, AGE 7
Twizbe · 05/10/2021 16:13

Ah, I read the YouTube thing as she's not allowed it at all.

The auto play feature is a tough one. My son went through a period of really wanting to watch rocket launches. We could let him watch alone for a bit but had to monitor as it would eventually get to Challenger and he didn't need to see that