Should I complain to school about this?

[DigOlBick]

Don’t know if I’m being Ott as I’m not a fan of social media in general.

Yesterday my 7 year old came home from school and asked if we could get TikTok. Obviously I said no and left it at that as I assumed some of her friends had been talking about it.

My partner asked her how she knew about it and she said that her TA was talking about it with them and talking about the different challenges that are on there. I’ve read a lot in the news about kids dying from stupid TikTok challenges and I’m quite shocked that an adult working in a class room of small children seems to be recommending videos to them.

My daughter is happy to not have any of these things, she has an iPad and is allowed Netflix and Disney and learning apps but she is not allowed YouTube or anything like that.

Would you complain to the school about this?

I totally agree with you OP, it is just not necessary for the TA to be talking about her TikTok account at all while they're doing maths. She doesn't need to be encouraging it for it to be inappropriate, she should not even mention it.
These kids are 6 or 7, and TikTok is a safeguarding nightmare with a minimum age of 13. TA can find another way to engage with the group.

That's absolutely not on & so unprofessional. I'd mention it to the teacher as it's way below the standard I would expect. TA sounds like she needs a reminder about professional boundaries.

Some TA's are highly qualified and experienced and others aren't, personally I don't think it's appropriate to talk to 7 year olds about in maths. I think the best thing to do in this situation though is just be a good parent and tell your dd that she is unfortunately too young to be on Tiktok and watch the videos as you are supposed to be 13 to go on there.

Honestly have no idea how you saw a video on the playground when real smart phones weren't really around until about 2007, and were not exactly a dime a dozen or with loads of content. But whatever, perhaps it was someone's v inappropriate home videos.

YABU. Crazily so. Trying to pretend it's not happening is ridiculous. Believing that your 7 year old got the conversation 100% accurate in her reporting to you is also just bizarre. I can easily see it coming up, a TA saying she posts dancing videos and moving on. But then, i once met a woman who complained to the school because they talked about death in class..... after one of the children had lost their MOTHER. She didn't think her children needed to know about death. Sigh.

Oh god, it must be fucking awful to be a teacher, or anyone working in a school now. Can't open your mouth without someone complaining.
Honestly your dd is 7, shes not going to have given you the full conversation that went on. For all you know the TA may have said that they shouldn't be using tik tok, but then someone else would complain because the TA has no right to tell their kids what they should be doing outside of school hours 🙄

Honestly have no idea how you saw a video on the playground when real smart phones weren't really around until about 2007, and were not exactly a dime a dozen or with loads of content. But whatever, perhaps it was someone's v inappropriate home videos.

This was my thinking too, but apparently I'm on another planet for thinking it wouldn't have been very common for a 9 year old to have a smart phone at school 15 yeas ago.

I’m a teacher and that’s why I wouldn’t be happy about it. TikTok is a safeguarding nightmare.

real smartphones weren’t around until 2007

They were, not as advanced as iPhones but you could certainly send videos. I was an NQT in 2004 and I remember sharing a video with friends (it was of cats, not porn, though. Just saying!)

I'm a primary school teacher and we have loads of young TA's who talk about TikTok to the children. Mostly dance moves and memes. I agree with the others it's not a big deal they are just trying to engage with the children. I'm often surprised that my class are aware of the names and follow them (instead of reading and doing their homework.)
What? And you're ok with this? Are you seriously saying its a good way to engage with the children? A good TA should know a few more ways to engage than that.
And it's TAs, plural.

I’d have no problem with the TA talking about the existence of Tik Tok with my children. Any primary aged child with older siblings knows all about it. I’d also have no problem with kids being shown any of the dance challenges posted on Tik Tok. If the videos are kid friendly then who cares what medium they were posted on?

I don’t let my four have Tik Tok but I do sometimes show them funny videos on there. I’m not sure really what the problem is with that? A child is not going to go off the rails because they know about the existence of Tik Tok.

And no, I would absolutely not complain to the school.

@FatJan

My cousin's friend's sister's child went to a school where they played a TikTok video at lunchtime because it was raining and the whole class died, so you do need to be careful.

It's like that MoMo thing a few years ago, headline news, dire warnings, Head Teachers rushing to warn parents about this dangerous internet phenomenon. The only people who had seen it were the daughter of someone's neighbour's cousin's hairdresser, who had DIED.

Part of being a parent is understanding what your children are doing online and knowing the risks/benefits of apps and websites. Coming at the whole debate from a position of "not being a fan of social media" like the OP says initially is pretty short-sighted. You might not be a fan of social media OP but your child probably will be, and it's your job to understand it and help her navigate it. Perhaps not at 7, but you can't just expect everyone to pretend these things don't exist.

If you are going to complain, do so in a way that won't make you feel like a dick if any of your facts are wrong.

Excellent advice from @fourminutestosavetheworld which I'm going to engrave on my heart for all those future moments when I am filled with righteous indignation

Hard to tell exactly what the TA said. I think explain to your DC why you choose not to use TikTok.

Rather than 'complain' to the school, you could say that your DC has felt under pressure to use social media and as they're only 7 they don't fully understand what social media are or the risks, so please would staff be aware of this when talking about, for example, TikTok ? I think it's certainly worth saying something to the school.

@DigOlBick

Of course I wouldn’t object to sex education. This was a casual conversation where the TA was sat with the table while they were working and talking about TikTok videos. I just think it’s not appropriate to discuss that with 6 and 7 year olds.

You don’t really know how the conversation started or the contents of the conversation. Why make a complaint, if needed why not try to find out more about the conversation.

Just because your child doesn’t have access to tik tok others may want to talk about things they have seen with someone they trust.

Did the TA say to all the kids "you should download TikTok, it's excellent! I have it and upload all sorts of videos onto it"?

If not, then she was not encouraging any 7 year old children to use TikTok.

You would need to find out the exact conversation before complaining to the school.

It could've been something very simple as 1 of the kids asking if she has TikTok, her saying yes, them asking if she posts videos and her saying "yes, I like doing the dance challenges with my friends" - is that really something to complain about?

Who on earth let's their 6/7 year old have their own phone?

YANBU it's just not necessary or sensible to talk about it with children this young.

BUT...some of those 7 year olds will have older siblings...who share worse than a discussion about TikTok.

You might not expect it from a TA though I agree.

Those saying the school has other things to be worried about: the school should have a detailed e-safety policy which sets out the appropriate use of technology and social media, and every adult in the school should be aware of it! An adult discussing a 13+ platform with 7 year olds is not e-safety good practice, and should definitely be flagged up to someone in the school so a quiet word can be had with the TA.

Around 6/7 is the cohort when they will be starting to discuss e-safety on social media in PSHE, and the teachers will not want mixed messaging going around on this.

e-safety on social media is now a part of the school curriculum and about to become part of the new statutory PSHE curriculum. It is linked up with safeguarding training in schools. Anyone who thinks it isn’t something that schools deal with, or should be bothered about, are very behind the times.

If it was part of a discussion about social media and internet usage that would be absolutely fine. That’s important and I think schools should do as much as they can to monitor what media the children are consuming. But this was a causal conversation between TA and a group of 4 children about her own personal TikTok account. I just don’t feel that’s appropriate. Even if a child had bought it up, I feel the TA should have said yes some people have TikTok for sharing videos and leave it at that.

I'd talk to the TA and find out what was said.

if they were promoting online challenges, I would complain.

You are right to be interested in your child's safty.

Yabu. Honestly at 7 years old aswell kids come out with all sorts, you probably haven’t even been given the full conversation or the details. She could have talked about Tiktok for any reason, as someone said a child could have asked her about this or whatever. It’s not like she has told your dd to download the app and set up a profile etc. How you choose to parent your child is your choice, I wouldn’t be letting my children have tiktok either but some children do and some parents allow it and that is their business so it’s not really fair on the teacher to go ahead and assume things when your dd probably isn’t telling you the full story.

I have 2 children aged 6 and 4 ( year 1 and reception) the other day dd came home and told me that her teacher calls the mummy’s and daddy’s fat at pickup time when trying to work out which parent is for which child , then it went onto the teacher calling the daddy’s fat, then it went on to the teacher didn’t say anything like that. Children come up with things all the time, they say stuff, don’t tell you the full story. You can’t be concerned about every little thing your children come home and tell you expecially at this age when they don’t tell you the full story or tell stories about stuff that has happened at school. If your dd was coming home telling you really actual concerning stuff and getting upset about it then I would bring it up to the school, but I feel so sorry for teachers they can’t even open their mouths anymore it seems without some parents over reacting.

Sounds to me like TA was very responsibly trying to support, warn and protect children who already use Tiktok.

Have you spoken to any of the other parents about it?

I think that would be my approach to try and get an idea of their feelings.

Although your child at 7 may not be being exposed to any of this, some of the other children might be. It may be that the TA has seen or heard other children in the school talking about TikTok and wanted to have an age appropriate conversation about it.

It's tricky for teaching staff to judge these things as it's all quite new and for anyone who is 30+ it wouldn't have been a thing at all when they were at primary school. Teaching staff are still feeling their way with it.

Chat to other parents and get an idea of whether other kids in the class are having much exposure to it - chances are some are if they have older siblings etc.

If other parents are upset about this as well, then take it forward and have a conversation with the school about how they approach teaching children about social media.

I wouldn't be happy with this either.
Tiktok stuff pops on my feed sometimes , neighbours kids doing stupid dances etcband all I can think is one day they will be very embarrassed.
They shouldn't be encouraging social media usage at school especially at such a young age.

@DigOlBick I am totally with you, YANBU, I would also be unimpressed and get in touch with the school about it.

For those who've not bothered to read the thread, OP has clarified that her 7 year old DD said the TA was talking about her own TikTok uploads. Doesn't sound like it was a safeguarding conversation, more a casual chat about her own life that's naturally piqued the curiousity of kids... of course they'll want to see their TA's videos.

IMO that was highly unprofessional of her, though she clearly just didn't think through the potential consequences of her chat, and that she might be unintentionally 'promoting' social media to young children. She's probably just young and naive, but it's worth flagging the incident up with the school.

The school did just discuss this with my DS's class he's 7 because the devious licks trend resulted in school property being damaged. I don't think it's BU at all to discuss.