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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you take this?

300 replies

WhatAPickledOnion · 03/10/2021 16:34

I’ve recently given birth to a beautiful baby girl. Throughout the pregnancy sex was actually non-existent.

Since having the baby DH has wanted it non-stop.

We were giggling and messing around today and I said “I’ve got my stallion back” he turned around and said “well yeah I’ve got nothing to release into now.”

How would you take this statement? I’m just so disgusted and told him what I thought he was implying by that statement but think I’m being gaslighted as he says I’m over reacting and it doesn’t mean what I think.

What would that statement imply to you?

OP posts:
DressBitch · 03/10/2021 18:37

You both sound utterly vile.

CircleofWillis · 03/10/2021 18:38

I completely agree with this!

CircleofWillis · 03/10/2021 18:39

@Heyyouwhatsthatsoundo

OPs husband stopped having sex with her when she was pregnant which is unusual behaviour for him. Once baby comes he begins having sex with her again. OP comments on his libido being back again and he advises the reason as “I’ve got nothing to release into anymore”.

I have no idea how people can’t understand how that would spark suspicion.

OP id honestly expect something like a fleshlight (they’re extremely popular) as opposed to an affair, which would explain the linguistics as well.

If there’s no other red flags have a chat with him put your mind at rest.

This is what I completely agree with! Blush
Stuckhere2021 · 03/10/2021 18:39

HRTFT. I took this to mean he didn’t want to have sex/ejaculate when you were “with child”. My DH once said he felt like foetus was watching him.

Original poster
WhatAPickledOnion · 03/10/2021 18:39

“Don’t have anything to release into anymore” pretty much the opposite of what is going on so it would only make sense if he was implying he’s back to his horny self now because the mistress is no longer in the picture (or whatever he was releasing into).

I can see why it’s confusing because everyone has automatic assumptions of sex lifes etc during pregnancy.

I think the pregnancy may have just been a free pass. I’ve told him I don’t believe him and he just keeps repeating where’s the evidence, where’s the evidence which is a red flag in itself.

I just don’t know but obviously swaying more to the I’m overthinking things after this thread.

OP posts:
Winterautumn · 03/10/2021 18:41

I think he means that now there is no baby inside you, he can now release himself instead.

SameToo · 03/10/2021 18:42

Oh I actually see what you’re saying no Op. so because he doesn’t have the mistress anymore he’s sleeping with you. Seems odd to just have an affair for that reason period of time though and make reference to it. Was your relationship good before this?

Macncheeseballs · 03/10/2021 18:44

Please ask him, I need to know what the hell he means!

SuperSange · 03/10/2021 18:45

Jesus Christ. You're not exaggerating when you say you're needy and high maintainence. Have you ever considered having therapy or something? That's so very far from normal.

aSofaNearYou · 03/10/2021 18:45

@WhatAPickledOnion

“Don’t have anything to release into anymore” pretty much the opposite of what is going on so it would only make sense if he was implying he’s back to his horny self now because the mistress is no longer in the picture (or whatever he was releasing into).

I can see why it’s confusing because everyone has automatic assumptions of sex lifes etc during pregnancy.

I think the pregnancy may have just been a free pass. I’ve told him I don’t believe him and he just keeps repeating where’s the evidence, where’s the evidence which is a red flag in itself.

I just don’t know but obviously swaying more to the I’m overthinking things after this thread.

Why on Earth would he casually admit this during sex though? He just wouldn't!

You know him. If he's a sleazeball generally then I can see why you think what you do. But otherwise, your theory is very unlikely, why on earth would he tell you about it?

TuftyMarmoset · 03/10/2021 18:46

@Heyyouwhatsthatsoundo

OPs husband stopped having sex with her when she was pregnant which is unusual behaviour for him. Once baby comes he begins having sex with her again. OP comments on his libido being back again and he advises the reason as “I’ve got nothing to release into anymore”.

I have no idea how people can’t understand how that would spark suspicion.

OP id honestly expect something like a fleshlight (they’re extremely popular) as opposed to an affair, which would explain the linguistics as well.

If there’s no other red flags have a chat with him put your mind at rest.

Maybe I'm naive but I still think it sounds like he was just grossed out by the idea of pregnancy sex and is no longer concerned about 'releasing' onto the baby. Which I think is probably more common than buying fleshlights or using prostitutes...
MyPatronusIsACat · 03/10/2021 18:48

@WhatAPickledOnion

No we are having it constantly at the moment - that’s why I mentioned stallion, it’s non-stop since I’m not preggers anymore.

“I’ve got my stallion back” “Well yeah I’ve got nothing to release into now.”

I don't get it. Confused What did he mean?
aSofaNearYou · 03/10/2021 18:48

Maybe I'm naive but I still think it sounds like he was just grossed out by the idea of pregnancy sex and is no longer concerned about 'releasing' onto the baby. Which I think is probably more common than buying fleshlights or using prostitutes...

And FAR more likely to be something you would admit to your wife during sex 🤦‍♀️

Eilatan2018 · 03/10/2021 18:52

@WhatAPickledOnion

No we are having it constantly at the moment - that’s why I mentioned stallion, it’s non-stop since I’m not preggers anymore.

“I’ve got my stallion back” “Well yeah I’ve got nothing to release into now.”

Does he mean he can’t ejaculate inside you now because he might get you pregnant? Before it wouldn’t matter as you were already pregnant!
Scbchl · 03/10/2021 18:53

I think he meant he didn't want to have sex when you were pregnant as it freaked him out the baby inside you and the thought of him ejaculating inside you so meant "yeah well I've got nothing to release into" as in the babys not in you now so he's happy to have sex again.

Stuckhere2021 · 03/10/2021 18:55

Have now RTFT and to be honest, I’m depressed. You and partner have had a child together yet lack the basics of normal communication. You say you are needy/high maintenance- you are a mother of a young child and need to put her first. You are getting a locksmith - why??? Your first reaction is to change the locks rather than have an adult conversation about what is going on here? I’m flabbergasted.

Unless there is some backstory of abuse or mental illness , then you both should be ashamed of yourselves and the unnecessary drama you are pulling this poor baby into.

madkittylady · 03/10/2021 18:57

Is no one going to ask how the bloody hell you've got the energy to be 'constantly at it' when you've just had a baby? Grin

AtomicSquirrel3 · 03/10/2021 18:57

@WhatAPickledOnion

I’m not speaking to him, told him I’m disgusted, he was just like a deer in headlights after saying it.

I’m assuming he had a “rent-a-vagina” during my pregnancy because he didn’t fancy me.

Then called it off when I had given birth.

“I’ve not got anything to release into anymore” I’m implying I’ve called it off with my mistress now you’re no longer pregnant that’s why my sex drive is so high with you.

But I'm guessing he's now releasing into you (sorry, that sounds yuk) so your assumption doesn't make any sense.

Macncheeseballs · 03/10/2021 18:58

Yeah that's helpful

Redglitter · 03/10/2021 18:59

he just keeps repeating where’s the evidence, where’s the evidence which is a red flag in itself

Oh ffs you're getting more ridiculous . So if someone totally misconstrued something you said and accused you of something you hadn't done wouldn't you be asking for proof? It's nothing like a red flag.

Ffs get a grip before you destroy your marriage

deeplyambivalent · 03/10/2021 19:00

Hey OP, what was it that your DH said to you that you're upset about? I think I missed it.

TheGrumpyGoat · 03/10/2021 19:01

When did you have your baby OP?

Kinneddar · 03/10/2021 19:01

I may have actually lost my marbles

I don't think there's any doubt about it quite honestly

Crunchymum · 03/10/2021 19:01

I took the comment to mean he was conscious of ejaculating inside when baby was there and now he isn't?

You do sound incredibly needed and hard work. You've booked a locksmith? Based on that comment alone. Fucking Hell.

Redglitter · 03/10/2021 19:01

@deeplyambivalent

Hey OP, what was it that your DH said to you that you're upset about? I think I missed it.
😂😂😂