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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you take this?

300 replies

WhatAPickledOnion · 03/10/2021 16:34

I’ve recently given birth to a beautiful baby girl. Throughout the pregnancy sex was actually non-existent.

Since having the baby DH has wanted it non-stop.

We were giggling and messing around today and I said “I’ve got my stallion back” he turned around and said “well yeah I’ve got nothing to release into now.”

How would you take this statement? I’m just so disgusted and told him what I thought he was implying by that statement but think I’m being gaslighted as he says I’m over reacting and it doesn’t mean what I think.

What would that statement imply to you?

OP posts:
LetHimHaveIt · 03/10/2021 18:10

Fulsome apologies.

rwalker · 03/10/2021 18:10

That is some conclusion you've jumped to . I really don't understand how you can come to that conclusion and shocked at how quick you are ready to kick hime out.
Were you looking for an excuse to get rid.

TractorAndHeadphones · 03/10/2021 18:11

@WhiskeyNeverStartsToTasteNice

I still have absolutely no idea what either of your comments meant. Why can't you just ask him what he meant? Booking a locksmith sounds ludicrously extreme.
9 pages later i STILL don't get it.....
Original poster
WhatAPickledOnion · 03/10/2021 18:11

Searching the house for a sex doll... I may have actually lost my marbles Blush

OP posts:
Wagglerock · 03/10/2021 18:12

@Honestmary

Are you hoping the locksmith can tell you what he meant?
And if they do figure it out, can you get them to update us?
trama · 03/10/2021 18:12

Maybe ask him what he meant instead of trying to ban him from his home (which if his name is on the title is illegal).

saraclara · 03/10/2021 18:12

You're being ridiculous. If he'd had another woman and kept it secret all that time, him 'admitting to it' now makes no sense at all!

The only sense I can make of it is that she was put off by being near the baby.

Your interpretation shrieks of insecurity, and his wording makes no sense to me in your scenario.

saraclara · 03/10/2021 18:13

@WhatAPickledOnion

Searching the house for a sex doll... I may have actually lost my marbles Blush
Yes. You have. Seriously you need to talk to someone because you seem to be losing your mind.
ChequerBoard · 03/10/2021 18:14

This is bonkers.

OP this is real life, not an episode of Eastenders. Not one person has interpreted you DPs bizarre words as meaning what think it means.

Unless there a major drip feed here and he has form for cheating plus there is additional evidence of him cheating during your pregnancy you are acting like a paranoid loon.

Calm down, talk to him and try to go straight to drama llama def con 10.

Bluetrews25 · 03/10/2021 18:14

Cancel the locksmith
Book an appointment with your GP
Google a diagram to show DH that he would not have walloped the baby in the face anyway due to the cervix being present.

Trust me. Feelings aren't facts.

storkstalk · 03/10/2021 18:14

it’s like he’s talking derogatory about some slag and now he’s back with his wife.

You sound delightful.

slashlover · 03/10/2021 18:15

@WhatAPickledOnion

Searching the house for a sex doll... I may have actually lost my marbles Blush
OP, have you had any other consuming thoughts or anxiety since you've had the baby?
Swimmingwiththefishes · 03/10/2021 18:17

Oh my god OP calm the fuck down.

You say you usually jump to conclusions and are high maintenance and my goodness you sound it

It is a gross comment but I would assume he was talking about the tightness post birth

Almost everyone here disagrees with your interpretation so please listen to them

toocold54 · 03/10/2021 18:17

Searching the house for a sex doll... I may have actually lost my marbles

OP do you have anywhere you can stay for a few nights?

I don’t think it’s a healthy environment for any of you right now, especially your child. I think it’s best your partner looks after baby for a while.
Maybe you could have a few days away and get an appointment with your gp.

Original poster
WhatAPickledOnion · 03/10/2021 18:18

No he has never cheated but we’ve never gone more than a week without sex before in over 10 years!

OP posts:
saraclara · 03/10/2021 18:18

Please see your GP. This could be some kind of post natal psychosis. The fact that you've got a locksmith coming is really disturbing.

Soubriquet · 03/10/2021 18:18

@WhatAPickledOnion

Searching the house for a sex doll... I may have actually lost my marbles Blush
I think you lost them a while back
grapewine · 03/10/2021 18:19

@WhatAPickledOnion

Searching the house for a sex doll... I may have actually lost my marbles Blush
You need some serious help, whether you're winding everyone up or not.
NannyOggsward · 03/10/2021 18:20

Sorry why would you need a locksmith to search the house for a sex doll? Why would there be locked rooms??

Or are you kicking him out?

He 100% meant the baby as I said before but you are utterly and totally batshit love.

aSofaNearYou · 03/10/2021 18:24

Being brutally honest it does sound like you are MASSIVELY jumping to conclusions. His response is far more likely than what you have assumed, have you really just assumed he must have a mistress this whole time? If you have no reason to suspect that other than him not wanting sex, that's insane! Yes, you are jumping to conclusions. You need to take a step back and calm down.

Flunked · 03/10/2021 18:26

@saraclara

Please see your GP. This could be some kind of post natal psychosis. The fact that you've got a locksmith coming is really disturbing.
I agree.

@WhatAPickledOnion how recently did you give birth? Can you speak to your health visitor or GP because these kinds of thoughts and behaviours do not seem right.

TuftyMarmoset · 03/10/2021 18:33

Yes, if this isn't a troll thread then I agree you need to speak to your GP as this line of thinking is so bizarre and unfounded that it's very concerning.

ButterflyAway · 03/10/2021 18:34

@WhatAPickledOnion In the kindest way, you really need some professional medical help. This isn’t normal behaviour, this isn’t healthy and you’re escalating pretty quickly. You don’t appear to be in a safe mind frame right now, do you have someone that can take the baby for a while?

caketiger · 03/10/2021 18:35

@RaisedByPangolins

Did he mean that while you were pregnant he would have been “releasing into” the baby? That’s what I took from it, which is gross but sadly not an uncommon view, that by having sex he’d be somehow coming into close contact with the baby.
That's what I thought also...
Heyyouwhatsthatsoundo · 03/10/2021 18:36

OPs husband stopped having sex with her when she was pregnant which is unusual behaviour for him. Once baby comes he begins having sex with her again. OP comments on his libido being back again and he advises the reason as “I’ve got nothing to release into anymore”.

I have no idea how people can’t understand how that would spark suspicion.

OP id honestly expect something like a fleshlight (they’re extremely popular) as opposed to an affair, which would explain the linguistics as well.

If there’s no other red flags have a chat with him put your mind at rest.