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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you take this?

300 replies

WhatAPickledOnion · 03/10/2021 16:34

I’ve recently given birth to a beautiful baby girl. Throughout the pregnancy sex was actually non-existent.

Since having the baby DH has wanted it non-stop.

We were giggling and messing around today and I said “I’ve got my stallion back” he turned around and said “well yeah I’ve got nothing to release into now.”

How would you take this statement? I’m just so disgusted and told him what I thought he was implying by that statement but think I’m being gaslighted as he says I’m over reacting and it doesn’t mean what I think.

What would that statement imply to you?

OP posts:
Ginger1982 · 03/10/2021 19:54

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slashlover · 03/10/2021 19:59

@Ginger1982 I've reported your vile post. OP has recently had a baby and could have PND.

scarpa · 03/10/2021 20:02

@LalalalalalaLand123

Makes no sense at all OP. Are you sure he didnt say "ive got SOMETHING to release into now" ?
This is the only explanation that makes sense to me...
  1. DH is pent up after not having sex for ages
  2. OP comments on the frequency(/vigour?) of the sex they're now having again
  3. He says it's because he's now got 'something' (OP) to 'release into' (blech) because she's no longer pregnant, as an explanation for why he's so horny now

And because OP is hormonal, by her own admission 'needy and high maintenance' anyway so post-baby maybe feeling more so, and possibly a little paranoid (sorry, OP - but it appears that way) she's misheard it and concocted a mistress during pregnancy?

DownstairsMixUp · 03/10/2021 20:03

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FilledWithRageAlways · 03/10/2021 20:06

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Livvielo · 03/10/2021 20:21

I would say from that comment, he didn’t feel
Comfortable having sex when you were pregnant.
That can be a normal thing for both men and women.
I would take his comment as a (bad) joke. Like he’s been ‘releasing’ into some kind of container, because there has been no sex until recently, and he’s referring to wanking.
It’s grim. But that’s how I took it.

Livvielo · 03/10/2021 20:22

And to add to my comment- he’s run out of things to release his stuff into.

Patapouf · 03/10/2021 20:26

Are you feeling quite well post natally OP?

I hope you know it's not okay to talk about other women like that, imagined women never the less.

BoomChicka · 03/10/2021 20:33

If not a wind up then yes, the overreaction could be due to mental health issues.. or this could be what the OP is like all the time, who knows.

fantasmasgoria1 · 03/10/2021 20:44

If my Fiance had made that comment I would have challenged him as to what he meant straight away. You need to actually ask him what he meant by it.

FateHasRedesignedMost · 03/10/2021 20:51

Are you sure you heard it right? It doesn’t make sense because he’s obviously releasing into you. Whether you’re tighter or not isn’t what I’d have assumed he meant unless he specifically said that.

Referring to him as a stallion; like a stud, maybe he meant he’s not releasing to try to conceive like a stallion does??

FateHasRedesignedMost · 03/10/2021 20:55

And to add to my comment- he’s run out of things to release his stuff into

Actually that makes sense. He’s run out of T-shirts or whatever he was jerking off into while you were pregnant.

RantyAunty · 03/10/2021 20:59

Has he actually had an affair before?

My DH didn't want to have sex while I was pregnant as he said it weirded him out that the baby was in there. Like his dick was too close or that he'd freak if it moved while we were doing it.
So no cheating. It just weird him out. You might ask you DH if that is what he meant as it is a common thing with men.

I get the stallion comment. That you meant he was strong a virile.

eternalopt · 03/10/2021 20:59

Sounds like you need a conversation with him rather than us! Just ask him what he meant by it

QuestionEverythingBaby · 03/10/2021 21:00

This is the only explanation that makes sense to me...

1. DH is pent up after not having sex for ages
2. OP comments on the frequency(/vigour?) of the sex they're now having again
3. He says it's because he's now got 'something' (OP) to 'release into' (blech) because she's no longer pregnant, as an explanation for why he's so horny now

That would make sense but he said “well yeah I’ve got nothing to release into now.”

Newmumatlast · 03/10/2021 21:34

@WhatAPickledOnion

“Don’t have anything to release into anymore” pretty much the opposite of what is going on so it would only make sense if he was implying he’s back to his horny self now because the mistress is no longer in the picture (or whatever he was releasing into).

I can see why it’s confusing because everyone has automatic assumptions of sex lifes etc during pregnancy.

I think the pregnancy may have just been a free pass. I’ve told him I don’t believe him and he just keeps repeating where’s the evidence, where’s the evidence which is a red flag in itself.

I just don’t know but obviously swaying more to the I’m overthinking things after this thread.

To be honest the more I read the more messed up it all sounds and a baby was brought into this :/ you need to get a grip.
KurtWilde · 03/10/2021 21:46

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Cocomarine · 03/10/2021 21:49

Although frustrating and upsetting for you not to have a sex during pregnancy, a single post on here would have confirmed it’s not that unusual. So your assumption that he was cheating then is… well, it’s OTT. As is your reaction now. I echo those saying speak to your HV.

JasonMomoasgirlfriend · 03/10/2021 21:52

Just read the post about searching for sex dolls.

Op,I think you need serious help.

mycatisannoying · 03/10/2021 21:54

I assumed he meant that he is not cumming inside you, therefore not having sex.

Piggy42 · 03/10/2021 21:55

This thread is so weird. If you think he was talking about another women, why on earth would he have said it. No idea what he was talking about

scarpa · 03/10/2021 21:56

@QuestionEverythingBaby

This is the only explanation that makes sense to me...

1. DH is pent up after not having sex for ages
2. OP comments on the frequency(/vigour?) of the sex they're now having again
3. He says it's because he's now got 'something' (OP) to 'release into' (blech) because she's no longer pregnant, as an explanation for why he's so horny now

That would make sense but he said “well yeah I’ve got nothing to release into now.”

I was replying to another PP who suggested she might have misheard, and he was actually saying 'nothing' - which is the only thing I think that makes all this make actual sense!

Otherwise OP's husband decided to reveal, mid-sex, while she's making a playful comment about their renewed sex life, that he's no longer blowing his load inside a mistress (that he may or may not have picked up during her pregnancy) and that nobody thought to continue that line of questioning afterward. Which... would be ridiculous.

HauteGirlSummer · 03/10/2021 22:01

@TheGrumpyGoat

Doesn’t matter how many times you write it, I still don’t get what he means, or what you think it means 😂
Right 😂😂 I don't understand either of your comments. They're both really random.

No idea what stallion means here.
If I had to guess, does he mean wanking often is not an option anymore??

bigbaggyeyes · 03/10/2021 22:09

This is the bizarrest thread I've read on here in ages

Covidwoes · 03/10/2021 22:12

Is anyone else wondering how OP and her partner find the time (and energy) to be at it constantly with a newborn to look after?