Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 11 12

Original poster

How would you take this?

300 replies

WhatAPickledOnion · 03/10/2021 16:34

I’ve recently given birth to a beautiful baby girl. Throughout the pregnancy sex was actually non-existent.

Since having the baby DH has wanted it non-stop.

We were giggling and messing around today and I said “I’ve got my stallion back” he turned around and said “well yeah I’ve got nothing to release into now.”

How would you take this statement? I’m just so disgusted and told him what I thought he was implying by that statement but think I’m being gaslighted as he says I’m over reacting and it doesn’t mean what I think.

What would that statement imply to you?

OP posts:

BoomChicka · 03/10/2021 17:37

Stallion.. release.. rent a vagina.. you both talk in a different language to anyone I know so God knows what he meant.

CandleWick4 · 03/10/2021 17:38

Never been so confused over a thread in my life. Also ‘rent-a-vagina’ 🤮

Faevern · 03/10/2021 17:39

Can you please ask him what he meant cos I still have no clue as I can’t imagine you would be ok with him having an affair?

helpmewithdrawgracefully · 03/10/2021 17:39

@WhatAPickledOnion

That’s what I mean he would never normally say such a derogatory statement like “I’ve got nothing to release into anymore” it’s like he’s talking derogatory about some slag and now he’s back with his wife.

Your relationship doesn't sound very healthy and your personal misogyny is a concern given you've just brought a daughter into the world.

rosegoldwatcher · 03/10/2021 17:42

How different, how very different, from the home life of our own dear Queen!

CatFaceCats · 03/10/2021 17:43

I’m so confused!
Did you know he was sleeping with someone else? Or have you just assumed that? And if you were, or are so sure he was, why aren’t you mad with him about that?

Somuddled · 03/10/2021 17:43

You have used some really horrible language to refer to women here OP. You need to have a think about that.

As for his comment, it's really obvious that he ment the baby. He felt odd about pregnancy sex and so wasn't keen on it, now that baby is out he now feels OK with sex again.

Unsure33 · 03/10/2021 17:44

Well you either had suspected that he was playing during your pregnancy or you didn’t .

Lots of men don’t feel comfortable having sex when their wives are pregnant .

I think you have huge communication problems as no one on here can understand what either of you mean or are like in your relationship. So perhaps as you have a young baby you should start with that .

NoSquirrels · 03/10/2021 17:45

That’s absolutely not what anyone else would jump to upon hearing that.

I thought it was a hideous way of phrasing that he was concerned about the baby when you were pregnant.

If you immediately jump to him having a “rebtba vagina” then there are massive issues in your relationship one way or another.

Somuddled · 03/10/2021 17:45

Why don't you go to him and say 'Rather than me jumping to conclusions, could you clarify what you ment earlier'

Then come back and tell us what he says.

Original poster

WhatAPickledOnion · 03/10/2021 17:46

Assumed he has a mistress obviously that’s why I’m asking on here as I’m prone to jumping to conclusions.

I’ve got a locksmith booked for tomorrow while he’s in work.

OP posts:

NoSquirrels · 03/10/2021 17:47

@WhatAPickledOnion

Assumed he has a mistress obviously that’s why I’m asking on here as I’m prone to jumping to conclusions.

I’ve got a locksmith booked for tomorrow while he’s in work.

And you’ve just booked that on the back of this conversation?

Howshouldibehave · 03/10/2021 17:47

His comment makes no sense.

I’d ask him what he was ‘releasing’ into when you were pregnant, that is now seemingly unavailable?

MadamMedea · 03/10/2021 17:47

Please stop using the horrible phrase ‘rent a vagina’.

I don’t really know what he meant. Surely he wasn’t just brazenly admitting that he’d had an affair which is now over? Or is he generally quite stupid?

TheGrumpyGoat · 03/10/2021 17:47

@WhatAPickledOnion

Assumed he has a mistress obviously that’s why I’m asking on here as I’m prone to jumping to conclusions.

I’ve got a locksmith booked for tomorrow while he’s in work.

Without even talking to him about what we meant?!

Soubriquet · 03/10/2021 17:47

@WhatAPickledOnion

Assumed he has a mistress obviously that’s why I’m asking on here as I’m prone to jumping to conclusions.

I’ve got a locksmith booked for tomorrow while he’s in work.

The fuck……

I think you are jumping to conclusions and moving too quickly

Slow the fuck down

TheGrumpyGoat · 03/10/2021 17:47

*he meant

Howshouldibehave · 03/10/2021 17:47

@WhatAPickledOnion

Assumed he has a mistress obviously that’s why I’m asking on here as I’m prone to jumping to conclusions.

I’ve got a locksmith booked for tomorrow while he’s in work.

Blimey.

Yes, you clearly are prone to jumping to conclusions

This thread is just bizarre

5BlackDoors · 03/10/2021 17:48

well that escalated quickly.

if he is on the deeds of the house you cannot legally change the locks.

But tbh I have literally no idea what you are on about, but you know better the ins and outs of the entire marriage. Just make sure you are safe.

Derbee · 03/10/2021 17:48

This is the most fucked up thread I’ve ever read on here. Don’t understand what either of you meant, he’s been using prostitutes (?) or something whilst you’re pregnant? You’ve changed the locks whilst he’s at work? Dysfunctional doesn’t even start to cut it

LetHimHaveIt · 03/10/2021 17:48

'As for his comment, it's really obvious that he ment the baby. He felt odd about pregnancy sex and so wasn't keen on it, now that baby is out he now feels OK with sex again.'

It's not 'really obvious' at all. 'I've got nothing to release into' is a really bad way of expressing that ^ very odd reluctance men have to ejaculate when having sex with their pregnant partners.

scarpa · 03/10/2021 17:48

This is baffling. You assumed he was cheating during your pregnancy but want to continue sleeping with him? You refer to other women as slags and rent-a-vagina and yet you're concerned he's derogatory? You think he would openly admit he's no longer shagging someone else in that casual a way in conversation and instead of asking him if that's actually what he meant you thought you'd come to Mumsnet...?

All of this is very weird. Your relationship doesn't sound very healthy if you don't trust him enough that you assume he's been cheating while you were pregnant and then didn't address that at all and just started sleeping with him again, but assumed he would mock you about it.

FriendshipHelp · 03/10/2021 17:49

If you assumed he had a mistress, why are you still with him and having sex with him? You right you’re annoyed he let it slip rather than the affair?
Get yourself tested and stop having sex with him until it’s sorted.

LadyGAgain · 03/10/2021 17:49

@WhatAPickledOnion

Assumed he has a mistress obviously that’s why I’m asking on here as I’m prone to jumping to conclusions.

I’ve got a locksmith booked for tomorrow while he’s in work.

I think you need help. This is an extreme reaction when you've not even asked him to clarify or shared your many quite strange interpretations.

MadamMedea · 03/10/2021 17:49

Perhaps rather than a locksmith you could try a conversation…?

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 11 12