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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you take this?

300 replies

WhatAPickledOnion · 03/10/2021 16:34

I’ve recently given birth to a beautiful baby girl. Throughout the pregnancy sex was actually non-existent.

Since having the baby DH has wanted it non-stop.

We were giggling and messing around today and I said “I’ve got my stallion back” he turned around and said “well yeah I’ve got nothing to release into now.”

How would you take this statement? I’m just so disgusted and told him what I thought he was implying by that statement but think I’m being gaslighted as he says I’m over reacting and it doesn’t mean what I think.

What would that statement imply to you?

OP posts:
LetHimHaveIt · 03/10/2021 17:11

I actually think your interpretation, OP, makes fractionally more sense than thinking 'I've got nothing to release into now' = a crude reference to a baggy vagina, not least because that makes no sense in response to 'I've got my stallion back' whereas it would if he's been fucking around and is now prepared to return to the stable, fully-loaded. If he'd said 'Yeah, but unfortunately I'm barely touching the sides now'? That would have been a dig at the tightness of your fanny.

But, really, you need to ask him straight out. And the pair of you need to work on your dirty talk.

Somethingsnappy · 03/10/2021 17:11

Ask him for goodness sake! I can't understand why you didn't just say 'I don't understand what you mean by that?' at the time! If you think he cheated, why would you stay with him?

Tigerstigers · 03/10/2021 17:11

So confused... It just doesn't make any sense. Are you sure that's actually what he said? Are you sure he didn't say "well yeah, because I HAVE got something to release into now" still gross, but makes more sense as you said he didn't want to when you were pregnant, and now he "has you back", he wants it again i.e "stallion like" 😂

ThisMustBeMyDream · 03/10/2021 17:12

He 100% means the baby being in there. Go and talk with him. You have jumped to a massive conclusion here. It is not the kind of comment made if one has had an affair. Surely if he had, he wouldn't be making any reference to it given he would want it to be a secret...
Calm down and go and talk!

Snaketime · 03/10/2021 17:12

I would have taken it to mean something totally different. Most men don't like to have sex when women are pregnant because they (stupidly) believe they might poke the baby. So when I first read that statement my first thought was that he was worried of releasing onto the baby.

Moonlight1972 · 03/10/2021 17:12

I don’t understand either but I think you are both gross 🤢

Morgan12 · 03/10/2021 17:14

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 what?

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 03/10/2021 17:14

Would you normally use derogatory misogynistic phrases like rent-a-vagina and slag? Because you sound disgusting yourself.

Ive no idea what your dh means as if he was having an affair, which you seem ok with, and he meant he has come back to you because he is no longer releasing into his mistress, what exactly do you want to do now?

What was his explanation?

KrisAkabusi · 03/10/2021 17:15

I cannot believe you assumed he had a "rent-a-vagina" while you were pregnant! That's a huge assumption to make! 99.99999% if people on here would not make that assumption, which is why your explanations made no sense to anyone. And to be honest, I doubt your husband would make such an assumption either. I can't believe you're not talking to him right now. You two need to have a serious conversation. No more making assumptions, talk!

TheGrumpyGoat · 03/10/2021 17:15

What does he say he meant by it?

Looubylou · 03/10/2021 17:15

Unfortunately I interpreted his comment the same way you did OP-it's the only interpretation that makes sense. However, surely if that were the case he wouldn't be stupid enough to say so. He needs to explain what he meant.

burnoutbabe · 03/10/2021 17:15

@LadyGAgain

To me it sounds like he's calling your vagina loose. But then your interpretation is also a weird conclusion. As was your original comment so who knows.
Yes I'd have taken it that way, you are looser. Which is still pretty offensive
LetHimHaveIt · 03/10/2021 17:15

If he'd said 'There's nothing to bump up against now' that would've been fairly unequivocal: 'release into' is still a bit confusing. But then, it seems like the pair of you are pretty poor at expressing yourselves clearly.

notHarris · 03/10/2021 17:16

Erm I just wouldn't have understood that comment and would have asked him to explain.
How did he explain it to you?

Mamamamasaurus · 03/10/2021 17:19

I'm baffled. By your comments such as 'rent-a-vagina' and 'slag', but also his comment.

I'd suggest you put your phone down and talk to him, find out what he meant. Repeating the same comment over and over again on here doesn't clarify things or make them easier to translate.

Do you actually think he was sleeping with someone else during your pregnancy?

Mydogmylife · 03/10/2021 17:19

I don't understand any of this! You're saying that you think he had a mistress while you were pregnant? What sort of relation ship have you had that this is your go to position? Both your comments re 'stallion' and 'release into' are , to me , gross - I suggest you have a proper discussion about this with no 'not speaking' or deer in the headlights nonsense and get what you both really mean out in the open

ClemDanFango · 03/10/2021 17:22

What does he think he meant?

grapewine · 03/10/2021 17:23

I'm baffled. By your comments such as 'rent-a-vagina' and 'slag', but also his comment.

Yeah, you're not coming over that great either.

diddl · 03/10/2021 17:24

So he didn't want sex when you were pregnant but now you're not he does?

Still don't get his comment though.

BeepingBB · 03/10/2021 17:25

I think his comment meant he's now not spunking on the baby?

Leftphalange · 03/10/2021 17:26

I think the whole conversation sounds a bit grim but I don't think he meant what you think it does.

Nothing to release into = crude way of saying I'm happy to have sex again because I'm not ejaculating into where the baby is.

fumfspos · 03/10/2021 17:26

Does he not mean he didn't want to "release" in you while the baby was in there?
That's what I would assume - not a whole load of stuff about rent-a-vagina.
Very very odd that you jumped to that conclusion.

Porfre · 03/10/2021 17:26

Sounds like he was worried his sperm would make contact with the baby or something. Now baby is gone hes not "releasing into the baby" anymore.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 03/10/2021 17:26

I'd have took it that he was walking into something while you were pregnant as you say you didn't have sex. I wouldn't have taken it as another women though

wishing3 · 03/10/2021 17:27

I’d think he meant he was bothered mentally by thinking baby was there before, like lots of people. Weird phrasing though and I’d have asked what he meant.