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AIBU?

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Original poster

How would you take this?

300 replies

WhatAPickledOnion · 03/10/2021 16:34

I’ve recently given birth to a beautiful baby girl. Throughout the pregnancy sex was actually non-existent.

Since having the baby DH has wanted it non-stop.

We were giggling and messing around today and I said “I’ve got my stallion back” he turned around and said “well yeah I’ve got nothing to release into now.”

How would you take this statement? I’m just so disgusted and told him what I thought he was implying by that statement but think I’m being gaslighted as he says I’m over reacting and it doesn’t mean what I think.

What would that statement imply to you?

OP posts:
Honestmary · 03/10/2021 17:27

So I’ve read this over and over and still don’t get it. On a plus it’s distracting me from the football which is super stressful so thanks for the post

Wisewordswouldhelp · 03/10/2021 17:27

@ThisMustBeMyDream

He 100% means the baby being in there. Go and talk with him. You have jumped to a massive conclusion here. It is not the kind of comment made if one has had an affair. Surely if he had, he wouldn't be making any reference to it given he would want it to be a secret... Calm down and go and talk!
Yep i agree with this!
YukoandHiro · 03/10/2021 17:28

The stallion comment isn't my bag either but you're all being a bit harsh to OP. The details of other people's sex lives are always quite cringey and grim.

TheChip · 03/10/2021 17:29

Well it could mean anything or nothing. Nobody here knows. The only person who does, is him. We can continue guessing but that's all it is.

Have a proper conversation, using proper words so that you can both make sense of what you both actually mean.

lynntheyresexpeople · 03/10/2021 17:29

I don't have a clue what he meant, but I absolutely don't think it's what you're assuming it is. I think it's possibly reference to the baby not being there, as In it freaked him out that he was releasing sperm near to where the baby was.
The terms you've used on this thread are disgusting op, and you haven't come off well either. In fact you both sound grim.

shivermetimbers77 · 03/10/2021 17:29

What did he say he meant OP? It’s such a weird and confusing statement that surely he must have tried to add more to explain what he meant.

Butterflyfluff · 03/10/2021 17:30

I do understand what you mean now you’ve explained it better but the bigger question is - how do you feel about your husband shagging someone else whilst he didn’t get what he wanted from you?

It doesn’t sound like that’s a big deal to you, only how he phrased it

aConcernedPrude · 03/10/2021 17:30

The terms you've used on this thread are disgusting op, and you haven't come off well either. In fact you both sound grim.

Couldn't have put it better.

Standrewsschool · 03/10/2021 17:30

I took it to mean that, as you are not trying for a baby now, he can’t ‘release’ into you. Ie. Withdrawal contraception. Stretching that comment to a mistress is a bit of a stretch.

Ginger1982 · 03/10/2021 17:30

I think you've completed misjudged this. Besides, if he was having an affair whilst you were pregnant, and gotten away with it, chances are it would still be going on.

TheGrumpyGoat · 03/10/2021 17:31

@Ginger1982

I think you've completed misjudged this. Besides, if he was having an affair whilst you were pregnant, and gotten away with it, chances are it would still be going on.
Exactly this. Why would he have suddenly stopped sleeping with her?
Soubriquet · 03/10/2021 17:31

Sharon…is that you again?

ghostyslovesheets · 03/10/2021 17:31

rent a virgina , Stallion, release into - it's like a Jackie Collins in here

Hankunamatata · 03/10/2021 17:32

I take it was he was worried about his sperm hitting the baby?

Snoofox02 · 03/10/2021 17:33

I think it means he doesn’t have anything left to release as there isn’t a build up anymore

SpiceRat · 03/10/2021 17:33

it’s like he’s talking derogatory about some slag and now he’s back with his wife.
Why are you jumping to these assumptions? Because he didn’t fancy pregnant sex (which happens to a lot of people) that automatically means he’s cheating on you? Are you historically insecure or has he cheated on you in the past, as it’s frankly a bit bonkers to jump to such an assumption.

How do you also know this woman is a “slag” or “rent-a-vagina” as you so eloquently put it? If your husband is such a scumbag he would cheat on his pregnant wife why are you not directing your vile words to him? And your happy to still shag him too. He could easily have told this imaginary woman he was single.

You need to communicate properly with your partner and address the trust issues, you’re bringing your daughter into a very unhealthy situation from the sounds of it.

diddl · 03/10/2021 17:33

@BeepingBB

I think his comment meant he's now not spunking on the baby?
OMG!

If that's what he thought no wonder he didn't want sex!

TuftyMarmoset · 03/10/2021 17:34

I would take it as being about the baby no longer being in there.

arcof · 03/10/2021 17:34

You're way off the mark! And you'll never know what he meant unless and until you talk to him about it. Only now he's had time to think of something given you're ignoring him.

If he had had a bit on the side the fact that you're no longer pregnant isn't a reason to stop seeing her is jt? So your conclusion makes zero sense

I have no idea what he meant but I'm just as baffled as to why you didn't ask him.

Normal people
"Well I've nothing to release it Into now"
"What does that mean?"

You
"Well I've got nothing to release it into now"

toocold54 · 03/10/2021 17:34

OP you’re overthinking things way too much! If you think he was cheating on you then that is one thing but there’s no way I’d jump to that conclusion because of what he said.

Instead of not speaking to him and being disgusted - why not just ask him what he meant?
The relationship doesn’t sound great to be honest.

HermannlovesPauline · 03/10/2021 17:35

So you think he means that he is all over you for sex because he hasn’t got a mistress to release it into.

WTF - Has he had a mistress?! If you thought that in your pregnancy didn’t you confront him?

Original poster
WhatAPickledOnion · 03/10/2021 17:36

@Butterflyfluff

I do understand what you mean now you’ve explained it better but the bigger question is - how do you feel about your husband shagging someone else whilst he didn’t get what he wanted from you?

It doesn’t sound like that’s a big deal to you, only how he phrased it

Please reread HE was the one who never wanted it during pregnancy! That’s what’s causing the red flags.

I think he’s used the excuse me being pregnant as a free pass and now playing the martyr by finishing it with the mistress and coming back.

However, I am quick to jump to conclusions and extremely needy/high maintenance.

OP posts:
5BlackDoors · 03/10/2021 17:36

hang on you are assuming he had a rent a vagina with some slag? (Your terms).

why are you with him?

why are you speaking about other women (real or imagined) like that?

anon12345678901 · 03/10/2021 17:36

@lynntheyresexpeople

I don't have a clue what he meant, but I absolutely don't think it's what you're assuming it is. I think it's possibly reference to the baby not being there, as In it freaked him out that he was releasing sperm near to where the baby was. The terms you've used on this thread are disgusting op, and you haven't come off well either. In fact you both sound grim.
I agree. I can't see anything in what he said suggesting a mistress or as you so nicely put it, a slag.
BritWifeInUSA · 03/10/2021 17:37

Ask him what he means.

And, no, he is not gaslighting. It may be an unkind comment or one without thought but that’s not gaslighting. Not even close. Stop trivializing mental abuse and torture.