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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get in touch with distant famous relative?

207 replies

Cookingrice · 02/10/2021 20:31

I have a very famous distant relative. Through lockdown she’s cropped up a lot in quizzes. The family spread across the country a generation back, no bad feelings. I thought how nice it might be just to make contact, just to say hi, but would that be weird? I don’t want anything from her at all (except maybe a signed photo for the children 🤣). I’ve found their official web page with contact email, obviously not them but might be starting point.

Is it weird? If not what should I say?

For context, she’s my grandma’s great niece.

Thank you - welcome your thoughts!

OP posts:
Standrewsschool · 02/10/2021 20:34

Does she know who you are? Would she believe you if you say you’re related?

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 02/10/2021 20:36

Have you ever met?

Thehouseofmarvels · 02/10/2021 20:36

Are are of your parents and one of her parents first cousins ?

Feelslikealot · 02/10/2021 20:38

Of course it's fucking weird. Leave the woman alone.

CleopatrasBeautifulNose · 02/10/2021 20:38

You aren't getting in touch with all your distant relatives though are you? Only the famous one. So basically you are using your tenuous connection to bother this stranger in the hope that you'll get something (albeit) minor out of it.
What is she going to get out of this contact? Not a lot? Weirded out? The hassle of politely declining your interest in striking up a conversation?

Crunchymum · 02/10/2021 20:39

Who is she?

Marlena1 · 02/10/2021 20:39

I don't think that's odd at all. She might be delighted to hear from you. If not you've lost nothing.

Pinkchocolate · 02/10/2021 20:39

It depends if you’ve ever had contact before. A relative you’ve occasionally spoken to would be fine (don’t ask for the signed photo straight away) but if you’ve never had contact then yes it’s weird.

Riada · 02/10/2021 20:39

Surely she’s unlikely to know who you are?

BurntO · 02/10/2021 20:40

Your grandmas great niece? No I would not get in touch unless you could do so through family. You’ll look like a weirdo. Do you get in touch with all your grandmas distant relatives? Confused

Original poster
Cookingrice · 02/10/2021 20:40

Thank you for replying. No she won’t know me - she’s on another stratosphere as so famous! I recently lost my father and so family relationships / connections seem to have taken on more significance. If I made contact it would be out of the blue, but I know my family would all be touched. But there are the questions (I) is it weird, (II) will they think I want something, (iii) what would I even say?!

OP posts:
Backtoblack1 · 02/10/2021 20:41

Who is she? Give us a clue x

TheVolturi · 02/10/2021 20:41

You can only try, she can ignore you if she wants!

Kanaloa · 02/10/2021 20:42

Would you make contact if she wasn’t famous and presumably rich? I would imagine not.

It’s one of the things DH and I always talk about when you play the ‘if I win the lottery’ game. I imagine all my second cousins and aunties/uncles who haven’t bothered with me I all my life would come crawling out of the woodwork.

Original poster
Cookingrice · 02/10/2021 20:45

Thank you all. Like I said I really don’t want anything. This is a relative that’s easy to contact as they’re famous, the rest are much harder to find. The family moved all over the country a generation back. I’m a normal mum and really wouldn’t want to come across as weird, and I wouldn’t want anything from them at all. I’m having a moment of madness, I’ll leave it. Wouldn’t want anyone to feel hassled or weirded out x

OP posts:
WhenISnappedAndFarted · 02/10/2021 20:45

I've got a similar situation but he's my second cousin. I've not got in touch because I think he'll think that we're only getting in touch because of his status.

maffhew · 02/10/2021 20:45

Is your grandmas great niece even classed as a relation?

Whitecushion · 02/10/2021 20:46

Say you are researching your family tree. That makes it ok!

thinkbiglittleone · 02/10/2021 20:46

Are you getting in touch with all your other very very distant relatives or just this famous one?

Who is the closest member of the family to you, that is on contact with them?

Do you know what, it won't do any harm, but don't expect a limo pulling up outside for you.

mintandlime · 02/10/2021 20:48

If my great aunties granddaughter contacted me because she wanted to get connected to relations! I'd be delighted! I love all that stuff

But as she's famous she could perceive it differently.

Nothing lost nothing gained is what I say!

Backtoblack1 · 02/10/2021 20:49

Why not anyway??? We are only human - all of us x

Disfordarkchocolate · 02/10/2021 20:50

I probably share more DNA with you than they do!

Original poster
Cookingrice · 02/10/2021 20:50

I hope I’ve made it clear - I don’t want a bloomin’ limo 🤦‍♀️. It’s not about any of that - I couldn’t care less about that side of things and I wouldn’t want anything from them. It’s not just for me, family members closer to them have been talking about her (first cousins) and I wondered whether it would be fun to make a connection, particularly since recent family bereavements. I couldn’t give a fig about wealth or getting anything financial from it, that’s not what it’s about at all. But you’ve all put me in my place - I won’t try and make contact for fear of causing offence or looking weird 🤣

OP posts:
Frostine · 02/10/2021 20:52

I'm a very distant cousin to a man who's wife is a member of our royal family . I wouldn't contact him .

Noeuf · 02/10/2021 20:52

According to this she’s your second cousin
www.devonfhs.org.uk/pdfs/tools/eichhorn-rlationship-chart.pdf

If you want to , go with the ‘you’ve come up a lot in quizzes and I thought it would be fun to ask for a phot lo for the kids as we are distantly related - something for show and tell haha’ type email.