To get in touch with distant famous relative?

[Cookingrice]

I have a very famous distant relative. Through lockdown she’s cropped up a lot in quizzes. The family spread across the country a generation back, no bad feelings. I thought how nice it might be just to make contact, just to say hi, but would that be weird? I don’t want anything from her at all (except maybe a signed photo for the children 🤣). I’ve found their official web page with contact email, obviously not them but might be starting point.

Is it weird? If not what should I say?

For context, she’s my grandma’s great niece.

Thank you - welcome your thoughts!

@Frostine

I'm a very distant cousin to a man who's wife is a member of our royal family . I wouldn't contact him .

@Frostine - are you related to Mike Tyndall?

lottiegarbanzo Your Grandma's great niece. So your second cousin?

Thanks I was struggling but just getting to this conclusion thanks for confirming

If the cousins knew each other and grandparents then yes old photos would be a good starting point. If not then I wouldn’t contact

@SpeakingFranglais

If she wasnt famous would you be as keen? Have you contacted her siblings or equally distant equivalent relatives?

Of course not, it’s weird.

This. ^ It's very odd. And as you say - would the OP be as keen if this 'second cousin' wasn't 'famous?'

@Cookingrice Knock yourself out and contact her if you want. You're deluded if you think she will respond though. You have never met, and you're clearly out to meet her because she's famous. She will have enough hangers-on and sycophants in her life. Why do you think she will be interested in you?

Cookingrice

most of you have understood my motives.

What ARE your motives? You've not actually said.

@maffhew

Is your grandmas great niece even classed as a relation?

Second cousin I think

I would leave it. People underestimate the upset they can cause doing this sort of thing

Definitely get in touch. Why wouldn't you?

@GoodbyePorpoiseSpit

I’m close to my second cousins! We even live near each other. I say do it!

But you know them/have known them all your life.

This 'celebrity' the OP claims she is related to has never met the OP. Why the hell would she think this woman will be remotely interested?

I think I would, it would be in the vein of adding to family history, does she have any info wrt your other relatives, not just her, but obvs easier to find a way to contact her than any of the others. Can she add anything? For info, then tell her your dad's just died, and what siblings, children you've got. Not too chatty, mainly factual. I think a letter along those lines is likely to be passed on to her by her underlings (!); the relationship can develop from there is you both want it to.

@Jux

I think I would, it would be in the vein of adding to family history, does she have any info wrt your other relatives, not just her, but obvs easier to find a way to contact her than any of the others. Can she add anything? For info, then tell her your dad's just died, and what siblings, children you've got. Not too chatty, mainly factual. I think a letter along those lines is likely to be passed on to her by her underlings (!); the relationship can develop from there is you both want it to.

I think this is a good approach.

She is likely to think you are after something anyway

Second cousins is not a distant relative at all. I would definitely do it OP.

@Cookingrice

Thank you *@Noeuf* - that’s exactly it, second cousins!

"That’s a second cousin? I grew up quite close to my second cousins. Their grandma was my great-aunt and my grandma was their great-aunt and our parents were first cousins so we holidayed etc together."

Second cousin isn't really a 'distant relative' as OP describes it. I also knew my second cousins on the maternal side very well when I was growing up, but on my father's side I've never even met them nor do I know their names...

Do it OP! Just tell her who you are, your parents and grandparents and that your grandma and hers were siblings. If she values family she'll reply. If not, you haven't lost anything. You have nothing to lose!

I know loads of my second cousions have them on FB etc - it’s not strange at all! But then again my grandparents’ siblings are still alive and I see them too

It's weird the way you said in your OP "She's my grandma's great niece". Why didn't you just say she was your second cousin? Second cousins are quite close relatives, I know quite a few of mine. Nothing wrong with you contacting yours. If you just drop her a friendly message I can't see it causing any "grief" unless there's been some big family fall-out you haven't mentioned. She might be pleased to hear from you, she might decide to ignore you. No big deal either way.

"What's a great neice? Is it your siblings grandchild?"

Of course. Which part do you find difficult? Your niece is a sibling's daughter, so a great niece is a generation down. The only issue might be that some could argue that you should say grandniece.

I feel second cousins are pretty close. Some of mine I texted this morning, others I've never met, purely through circumstance. I do find it odd though that first cousins don't contact her as they feel she's in a different stratosphere. First cousins have the same nan and grandad, how can they not feel close if there is no estrangement?

One of my grandparents is one of 11, scattered across the globe. I've only met the second cousins via the sibling that also came to England, and of the one who remained in the family home on our one visit back. Yet my sister rocked up on our great aunts doorstep when she was on holiday in Australia and had a lovely afternoon.

If I were famous and a second cousin via that grandparent contacted me I would totally welcome it and politely reply, even if I had to ask my dad/uncle who exactly they were. It's not distant.

I think if you were really interested in family you wouldn’t start at the most famous member.
Yes it’s weird, it’s not a nice position to put this person in.

Go for it! What have you got to lose? I think it would be a lovely thing to do.

"First cousins have the same nan and grandad, how can they not feel close if there is no estrangement?"

I barely know some of my first cousins (same branch of the family where I know the second cousins well!). It happens.

No, that sort of ‘distant’ puts it outside of the relative ballpark. They will just assume you are a dame chaser.

*fame

This is a relative that’s easy to contact as they’re famous, the rest are much harder to find.

Family connections have taken on new meaning but only if they are easy to find? Looking for family is easier than ever now with the internet at your fingertips.

I barely know some of my first cousins (same branch of the family where I know the second cousins well!). It happens.

Same. I have 18 of them. I could pass some of them in the street and not know them.

I want to know who she is 😀😀