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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Puppy jumping on exercising man

320 replies

disculpe · 02/10/2021 16:26

Perfectly happy to be told I'm being U but I don't think I am. Took my 10 month old puppy (German shepherd) out for a walk this morning with my DS. As most puppies that age are, she is naturally cheeky and pushes the boundaries at times. She is pretty much always walked on a leash because most of the time it's too busy and if she sees another dog she will go mad and try to play as well as jump up on them, so we are careful to make sure she's not able to play with dogs who don't want to play, and so she doesn't knock children over in her excitement.
There is a field near us where we often take the dog on Sat and Sun mornings. It's always quiet on weekend mornings, not many dogs there, and we have been letting her off the lead to play ball there and teach her to come back to us without having to worry about other people or dogs. Was all going well this morning - she was fetching the ball nicely and when people walked past us along the path she completely ignored them and carried on being well behaved. Then a man on a bike stopped about 15 feet from us. He could clearly see us as he kept looking over. Then he started exercising, even though this field is huge and he could have exercised literally anywhere else, a lot further away from a woman, young child and unpredictable puppy. My dog ignored him, carried on playing fetch so I didn't put her on her leash because she was behaving. After about 10 minutes this man started doing push ups and something about that movement excited my dog and she ran over to him, putting her face in his and running around him trying to play. I'm not defending her behavior, I would never want her doing that to anyone and completely understand that German shepherds are big and can look intimidating, and not everyone wants a dog in their face. He started screaming and shouting at me about how I should control my dog, I managed to get her back on her leash and then shouted back at him that of all the places he chose to exercise was within a few feet of me when there was a huge area with no dogs in it that he could have chosen instead. Got my dog back on the lead and walked home with my son. When I got home I realized just how intimidating his behavior was - what sort of person chooses to encroach on someone's space like that? Especially a strange man getting uncomfortably close to a lone woman and child. I know I could have put my dog on her leash and found another spot to play ball as soon as he turned up but the stubborn bitch in me was like "I was here first" and I assumed that as he'd chosen to be there he wasn't too concerned about my dog. I messaged my husband (he's working away) the second I got back and he said no decent man would get that close to an unknown woman in a field when there was ample space elsewhere because decent men don't want to make women feel uncomfortable. So, AIBU for getting angry with him and for not putting my dog on a leash the second he pitched up next to us or was he BU?

OP posts:
StillWeRise · 02/10/2021 17:29

he wasn't 'encroaching on your space'
you were making some public space unusable by having an out of control dog in it
you say your dog is 'bouncy'- I say you are minimising

Tresal · 02/10/2021 17:29

Your dog went up and harassed him. Was he asking for it? Should he not exercise in a public space because it might excite any dogs in the area? Should he alter his behaviour because dog owners can’t control their dogs very well? Do you think he should stay indoors and leave the public spaces to dog owners?

Of course you are being very unreasonable OP! Your dog’s behaviour is your responsibility, not his.

Lorw · 02/10/2021 17:30

OP. You need a longline 😁

Untrained dogs are unpredictable so you should have put him back on his lead, I can imagine you’d have felt awful if he decided to bite this man, stranger things have happened and you should be in control of your dog at all times while in a public space.

TrollsAreSaddos · 02/10/2021 17:30

YABU. You shouldn’t let you dog off unless you can control it. I absolutely hate it when dogs run up to me. I’ve been knocked off my feet twice in the last year by ‘bouncy’ dogs. One ran into the back of my legs, I hadnt even seen it. The owner apologised but didn’t even bother putting the dog on a lead afterwards.

Thatsplentyjack · 02/10/2021 17:31

Nope I don't buy any of this, you should have moved bullshit. Plenty of dogs that don't have perfect recall out there, if you go and stand next tk a dog you're taking the risk of that dog being one of them.
OPs dog didn't go and rip the tosser limb from limb, it went and had a sniff at him because he was basically lying down on the ground flexing.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 02/10/2021 17:31

yanbu,
there was no need for it,
otoh, there is no need to have an argument

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 02/10/2021 17:34

Oh I'd have told him to fuck himself. With vigour.

She's a puppy, they're impulsive just like human children. He should have gone somewhere else.

You have to make some allowances for babies, of any species. Twat.

Echobelly · 02/10/2021 17:34

I do think you probably should have put dog on a lead if possible when the guy stopped nearby. I think that is a more reasonable ask than saying to someone 'Can you move somewhere else please?' Maybe he always stops there, perhaps it's a good point to lean/lock up his bike?

I can say my husband hates being approached by 'bouncy' dogs when running as he is quite scared of them, and I'd say he's being a bit over-the-top, but then I'm not scared of dogs. People who are upset or frightened by dogs may come over as BU, but that's probably because they are scared and upset and it can be hard for people who aren't worried about dogs or who know their dog to appreciate that.

I think some people here are being overly harsh on both you and the bloke - it's kind of a crossed-lines situation with two people who may find it hard to understand one another's feelings in the moment and be a bit on edge.

EarthSight · 02/10/2021 17:34

I wonder if he would have shouted at your husband like that.

MakingM · 02/10/2021 17:35

If your DS wants to get involved in training your dog, my DD loves Easy Peasy Awesome Pawsome Dog Training for Kids by Steve Mann.

Puppy will soon be old enough.

bargelights · 02/10/2021 17:35

Kudos to you for admitting you were unreasonable. Very rarely happens on MN (or IRL for that matter!).

I do think it was a bit odd for him to exercise so close to you. However, you were definitely in the wrong for not controlling your dog in an open space. I’m a dog owner of many years, currently have a young puppy. Far too many dog owners overestimate their dogs’ recall. In fact, the only one who wasn’t unreasonable in this situation was your dog. She was just behaving as dogs do. Smile After (a lot) more training, she’ll be ready to go off lead in the right circumstances.

KingsleyShacklebolt · 02/10/2021 17:35

What you should be learning @disculpe is that you might love your animal very much, but nobody else gives a single shiny shit about it. It is YOUR dog and your responsibility to train it, and keep it out of other people's personal space.

Just as on the other thread today about the runner chased by dogs the owners couldn't control, it's the owners' fault that they cannot/will not train their dog to come to them when called. If your dog cannot do that, then you use a lead.

What really grinds my gears is this whole "oh they wouldn't hurt you, it's just a puppy, it's so friendly, it's such a sweet dog". I couldn't care if your dog is the nicest, loveliest dog on the entire planet. I do not want it anywhere near me.

bakingdemon · 02/10/2021 17:36

Your "cheeky and pushes boundaries" = someone else's "terrifying"

SirChenjins · 02/10/2021 17:37

Agree @KingsleyShacklebolt A dog doesn’t need to be sweet or friendly in public - it just needs to be under control.

Goldbar · 02/10/2021 17:38

YABU. Your dog jumped on him. Enough said.

It doesn't matter how irritating he was being. Sometimes people are irritating in public spaces. Doesn't mean it's ok for large dogs to jump on them.

What if it had been a child running around?

Blondeshavemorefun · 02/10/2021 17:38

Yes you should have put on a lead when he got near you

Equally it was a big field

He should have stayed further away

rwalker · 02/10/2021 17:38

Your dog wasn't under control simple as that .

RoastChicory · 02/10/2021 17:39

An out of control 10 month old German Shepherd is capable of killing people. If you are getting such a breed, you have to make sure it is under control at all times.

It goes without saying for all dogs, but a German Shepherd jumping round you and barking is absolutely terrifying. Even for a man. It is not like a little cockapoo puppy.

EmbarrassingAdmissions · 02/10/2021 17:39

My DH was bitten by a dog that ran up to him. The owner denied the dog had done any harm and repeated the 'He's just being playful' line even as the blood bloomed through the area that had been bitten. (Groin. It was traumatic for us all and I shall not be re-visiting the topic at this time.)

MakingM · 02/10/2021 17:40

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut

Oh I'd have told him to fuck himself. With vigour.

She's a puppy, they're impulsive just like human children. He should have gone somewhere else.

You have to make some allowances for babies, of any species. Twat.

A baby is somewhat unlikely to bite a exercising stranger. What would the baby do - crawl over slowly and gum him? Nonsense.

Seriously, dog licences need to come back or something else. People are buying these large aggressive dogs, not training them and causing inconvenience to other users of public spaces on a regular basis.

And they never apologise. It’s just ignorant.

SickAndTiredAgain · 02/10/2021 17:40

Dog owners who describe their dogs as cheeky and pushing boundaries are like parents who describe their children like this when they get in trouble as school.

The dog or the child are probably a nightmare.

icedcoffees · 02/10/2021 17:41

He’s either a complete plonker to exercise so near to you when he had a huge open space fo choose from, or he was deliberately trying to make you feel uncomfortable.

Or he just went to where he usually exercised and OP happened to be in his way.

It doesn't matter why he chose that particular spot - OP has to, by law, have her dog under control. She knew it had dodgy recall and kept it off the lead anyway - if the dog had bitten him she would be in real trouble.

FleasAndKeef · 02/10/2021 17:42

I don't think you are being unreasonable here, he sounds like a prize nob and had it coming.

BUT

The dangerous dogs act is vague and people can press charges under this law if they felt threatened by a dog, whether or not the dog actually caused harm. So for my own dog's safety (I have a large breed dog too) I would probably put them back in the lead and move somewhere else to play, or go home.

Your dog sounds like they are doing really well for 10 months though OP, keep up the hard work :-)

MarshaBradyo · 02/10/2021 17:42

@SickAndTiredAgain

Dog owners who describe their dogs as cheeky and pushing boundaries are like parents who describe their children like this when they get in trouble as school.

The dog or the child are probably a nightmare.

I agree but think it’s worse with dogs. Esp big bouncy ones
cjpark · 02/10/2021 17:44

I think he was a bit of a twat for coming that close to you tbh. With a whole empty field he chose to do press up's 15 feet from you? I think he was either trying to impress you with his physical prowess or very insensitive to the fact you were a lone woman. I would have felt a bit on edge with his proximity and moved along.