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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Puppy jumping on exercising man

320 replies

disculpe · 02/10/2021 16:26

Perfectly happy to be told I'm being U but I don't think I am. Took my 10 month old puppy (German shepherd) out for a walk this morning with my DS. As most puppies that age are, she is naturally cheeky and pushes the boundaries at times. She is pretty much always walked on a leash because most of the time it's too busy and if she sees another dog she will go mad and try to play as well as jump up on them, so we are careful to make sure she's not able to play with dogs who don't want to play, and so she doesn't knock children over in her excitement.
There is a field near us where we often take the dog on Sat and Sun mornings. It's always quiet on weekend mornings, not many dogs there, and we have been letting her off the lead to play ball there and teach her to come back to us without having to worry about other people or dogs. Was all going well this morning - she was fetching the ball nicely and when people walked past us along the path she completely ignored them and carried on being well behaved. Then a man on a bike stopped about 15 feet from us. He could clearly see us as he kept looking over. Then he started exercising, even though this field is huge and he could have exercised literally anywhere else, a lot further away from a woman, young child and unpredictable puppy. My dog ignored him, carried on playing fetch so I didn't put her on her leash because she was behaving. After about 10 minutes this man started doing push ups and something about that movement excited my dog and she ran over to him, putting her face in his and running around him trying to play. I'm not defending her behavior, I would never want her doing that to anyone and completely understand that German shepherds are big and can look intimidating, and not everyone wants a dog in their face. He started screaming and shouting at me about how I should control my dog, I managed to get her back on her leash and then shouted back at him that of all the places he chose to exercise was within a few feet of me when there was a huge area with no dogs in it that he could have chosen instead. Got my dog back on the lead and walked home with my son. When I got home I realized just how intimidating his behavior was - what sort of person chooses to encroach on someone's space like that? Especially a strange man getting uncomfortably close to a lone woman and child. I know I could have put my dog on her leash and found another spot to play ball as soon as he turned up but the stubborn bitch in me was like "I was here first" and I assumed that as he'd chosen to be there he wasn't too concerned about my dog. I messaged my husband (he's working away) the second I got back and he said no decent man would get that close to an unknown woman in a field when there was ample space elsewhere because decent men don't want to make women feel uncomfortable. So, AIBU for getting angry with him and for not putting my dog on a leash the second he pitched up next to us or was he BU?

OP posts:
RoastChicory · 02/10/2021 16:46

YABVU - a pretty much fully grown German Shephard is a very intimidating dog. Having a strange dog like that stand over you and run around you when doing push-ups must be absolutely petrifying.

He was shouting out of fear.

Fubitch · 02/10/2021 16:46

Yabu. I'd have gone mad. Shit like this happens all the time and I rarely walk alone now. Fucking dog owners.

Blackkoala · 02/10/2021 16:47

Yanbu, he sounds like an arsehole!

AnnaSW1 · 02/10/2021 16:48

I think YABU. You need to keep control of your dog

MarleneDietrichsSmile · 02/10/2021 16:48

Sorry but you were unreasonable, you both were.

bizboz · 02/10/2021 16:48

You were unreasonable because your dog should always be under your control. It might have been preferable if he had exercised further away and there was no need to be so aggressive in his response to you, but it is his right to exercise wherever he likes in a public space without being approached by a dog.

DogFoodPie · 02/10/2021 16:48

FFS is there now a set distance that men must stand away from women and children?
I think it's just good manners not to get too close to people when you are both doing activities in a large field with hardly anyone else in it.

LaikO · 02/10/2021 16:49

I think you were being very unreasonable, sorry. You don't know who's scared of dogs, or simply doesn't like them. I like dogs and have owned them, but I can completely understand his reaction and annoyance, and to be honest I wouldn't want someone else's puppy in my face, I would voice my displeasure too (although not by shouting, unless it ran up to my kids).

Blackkoala · 02/10/2021 16:49

@seaandsandcastles

YABVU.

Why on Earth should he think that exercising near you would make you uncomfortable? Why does doing so mean he’s not decent? Confused

Humans gravitate towards each other. Hence why you find people sitting next to you on the bus despite seats everywhere, or clusters of people on a beach. It’s human nature.

Anyone who sits next to you on a bus when there are double seats available is a certifiable weirdo.
PileOfBooks · 02/10/2021 16:49

Yabvvu . I'd scream if a dog jumped on me. I think of they dont have brilliant recall and someone starts doing something near you you put back on the lead.

So many people when they get a dog do the whole "oh hes harmless" or "hes friendly" routine when most people really do not want a strange dog in their face/picnic/ children

Meloncurse · 02/10/2021 16:49

The thing is, if people do become unwitting participants in your failed puppy training, the thing to do is apologise, not try and blame them for being int the wrong place/doing the wrong thing.

25+kg of 'puppy' in your face is going to be intimidating for most people.

PileOfBooks · 02/10/2021 16:49

Melon you posted as I did but absolutely. The response is to apologise!!

Stellaris22 · 02/10/2021 16:51

Dogs aren't machines and need training, being in different situations so owners can learn their dogs triggers and behaviours. They need to be off lead for this to happen, and an open field is ideal for training.

It's definitely very odd to exercise so close with so much space available. If he was so uncomfortable around dogs then he should be further away. If I see someone exercising I choose to walk my dog in a different direction, he shouldn't have been so close by choice.

MrsColon · 02/10/2021 16:52

@Saucery

FGS, who drops and does push-ups with a puppy obviously being exercised nearby? He sounds a knob, I’m with your DH.
This. He is either very dim, very entitled, or a creep.
MarshaBradyo · 02/10/2021 16:53

Yabu it’s not your space really to say no one can use it

And the dog sounds like it would be very annoying

Meloncurse · 02/10/2021 16:54

who drops and does push-ups with a puppy

The uninitiated will not see a 10 month old GSD and think it's a puppy

SickAndTiredAgain · 02/10/2021 16:54

It's definitely very odd to exercise so close with so much space available. If he was so uncomfortable around dogs then he should be further away. If I see someone exercising I choose to walk my dog in a different direction, he shouldn't have been so close by choice.

I agree. But him being stupid doesn’t mean that OP no longer has responsibility to keep her dog under control.

bizboz · 02/10/2021 16:55

I have never been known to do a push up in a filed (or anywhere else!) but it wouldn't occur to me that this was an activity that would excite a nearby dog.

bizboz · 02/10/2021 16:55

field

lechatnoir · 02/10/2021 16:55

YABVU to have a dog off the lead that you can't control in the vicinity of other people. I would been really pissed off if your dog come sniffing me while I was doing press ups & probably would have shouted at you as well (and yes I am a dog lover)

The fact that he chose to exercise where he did is neither here nor there (for all you know he could be pissed off with you for taking his regular spot) and talking being a lone female & his inappropriateness in the current climate is absolute bollocks and sounds like you trying to deflect the blame.

Dogs are like children - we all love our own but nobody else is interested in them and certainly won't want to be pestered by them.

copernicium · 02/10/2021 16:56

I had stopped by the side of a lake recently, no path, just a massive field. Dog on lead. Lady walks past eating a sandwich, close enough for dog to start jumping to get to her, not touch her. She suddenly starts screaming at me to get my dog away from her and her food, even though she had walked right up to us, dog was on a lead and didn't touch her. She just had to walk around us.
I've given up trying to understand people. If you don't like dogs, don't stop by a dog.

TrivialSoul · 02/10/2021 16:56

I'm a dog owner, and have no fear of dogs at all but I would not like a strangers dog up in my face or running in circles round me. If I stopped to exercise and saw you with your dog off the lead I would assume that the dog was under your control so wouldn't feel the need to move to a different area.
YABVU to put the blame on the man when you failed to control your animal. He would not have had cause to shout if you had controlled you pup.

Saucery · 02/10/2021 16:56

@Meloncurse

who drops and does push-ups with a puppy

The uninitiated will not see a 10 month old GSD and think it's a puppy

You’d have to be even more stupid to drop and do push-ups with a fully grown large breed running around, then. Some men are like that when women and children are using public spaces, though. They can’t stand it, have to alter the dynamic if they possibly can.
MrsTerryPratchett · 02/10/2021 16:57

Why on Earth should he think that exercising near you would make you uncomfortable? Why does doing so mean he’s not decent? Confused

Men kill two women a week in the UK. German Shepherds, maybe one a decade. With recent news I'd say leash and muzzle the bloke (only partly facetious). If anyone should be worried about anything, it's not him of the dog.

FWIW I do leash my dog near exercisers, particularly if there's a bike because I know he's bouncy around them. However men are a bigger risk than dogs and if he doesn't like one in his face, he shouldn't get in yours.

disculpe · 02/10/2021 16:57

Ok, IWBU, fair enough. Today's incident was a one off, we are very responsible dog owners but today was a misstep. In future once someone has stopped near us I will put her back on her lead and find somewhere else. I still maintain that the guy was an idiot and could have been more considerate in where he exercised (I'm not complaining about him exercising outside but just so close to me) but accept that he may have been scared. Thanks for your comments, both for and against me!

OP posts:
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