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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Puppy jumping on exercising man

320 replies

disculpe · 02/10/2021 16:26

Perfectly happy to be told I'm being U but I don't think I am. Took my 10 month old puppy (German shepherd) out for a walk this morning with my DS. As most puppies that age are, she is naturally cheeky and pushes the boundaries at times. She is pretty much always walked on a leash because most of the time it's too busy and if she sees another dog she will go mad and try to play as well as jump up on them, so we are careful to make sure she's not able to play with dogs who don't want to play, and so she doesn't knock children over in her excitement.
There is a field near us where we often take the dog on Sat and Sun mornings. It's always quiet on weekend mornings, not many dogs there, and we have been letting her off the lead to play ball there and teach her to come back to us without having to worry about other people or dogs. Was all going well this morning - she was fetching the ball nicely and when people walked past us along the path she completely ignored them and carried on being well behaved. Then a man on a bike stopped about 15 feet from us. He could clearly see us as he kept looking over. Then he started exercising, even though this field is huge and he could have exercised literally anywhere else, a lot further away from a woman, young child and unpredictable puppy. My dog ignored him, carried on playing fetch so I didn't put her on her leash because she was behaving. After about 10 minutes this man started doing push ups and something about that movement excited my dog and she ran over to him, putting her face in his and running around him trying to play. I'm not defending her behavior, I would never want her doing that to anyone and completely understand that German shepherds are big and can look intimidating, and not everyone wants a dog in their face. He started screaming and shouting at me about how I should control my dog, I managed to get her back on her leash and then shouted back at him that of all the places he chose to exercise was within a few feet of me when there was a huge area with no dogs in it that he could have chosen instead. Got my dog back on the lead and walked home with my son. When I got home I realized just how intimidating his behavior was - what sort of person chooses to encroach on someone's space like that? Especially a strange man getting uncomfortably close to a lone woman and child. I know I could have put my dog on her leash and found another spot to play ball as soon as he turned up but the stubborn bitch in me was like "I was here first" and I assumed that as he'd chosen to be there he wasn't too concerned about my dog. I messaged my husband (he's working away) the second I got back and he said no decent man would get that close to an unknown woman in a field when there was ample space elsewhere because decent men don't want to make women feel uncomfortable. So, AIBU for getting angry with him and for not putting my dog on a leash the second he pitched up next to us or was he BU?

OP posts:
Newmum29 · 03/10/2021 10:56

What are you talking about? A woman alone? You had your child and a massive dog with you. Don’t try and turn the “current climate” to make you the victim when you were clearly in the wrong.

BrickingIt44 · 03/10/2021 11:08

YANBU sounds like he was looking for a confrontation.

girlmom21 · 03/10/2021 11:18

@SirChenjins

You really have to ask that? They could take them to a dog only area, or to training classes, or book a dog field, or if they can’t do that they can keep them on the lead.
My dog is brilliant off lead but would hardly participate in dog training classes because he's no nervous of other dogs.

If we'd have tried to only train him at the classes we'd never have gotten anywhere. He'd probably be terrified of leaving the house.

He won't bother anyone else but backs off if someone (dog or human) bothers him.

ModerateOven · 03/10/2021 11:20

Press ups in a field isnt weird. We see it a lot!
Yes I do too. Also seen a couple of people walking backwards a distance and then forward again. Looks odd to start with but I guess they're exercising alternate muscles. Maybe somebody here knows?

LaikO · 03/10/2021 11:21

@Moonface123

Do yourself a favour and never ever post on here about a dog being unleashed. This is an anti dog forum.
I'm sure a few people said the same as me - that they like dogs and are/have been dog owners. OP was irresponsible, not her dog's fault.
SirChenjins · 03/10/2021 11:24

@girlmom21 - so basically your dog is under control in that it doesn’t bother anyone and backs off if anyone comes near it? Sounds like it’s well under control and can be off the lead around people, unlike the OPs dog (and many others), and hopefully didn’t jump on anyone when you were training it.

MorganKitten · 03/10/2021 11:26

Maybe look at puppy training classes and control your dog.

sunglassesonthetable · 03/10/2021 11:54

oh get off your high horses.

The OP has totally acknowledged she should have put her dog straight back on the lead as she couldn't totally trust it.

In fact I don't think I've seen many OPs as acknowledging of responsibility as this one.

But I still agree it's very off to park yourself up some feet away from someone with a dog running around in a massive field.
I don't think is playing the victim card she hasn't said she felt threatened. But you can't deny we're hyper aware of that sort of thing right now.

Porcupineintherough · 03/10/2021 11:58

Sometimes I think it would be helpful if people coud be less extreme. The OP made a small mistake which she acknowledged ages ago. The dog is not an untrained monster, it's all part trained young dog. The man had the right to exercise but was unwise to choose the location he did and could have been calmer.

It would be nice to think that everyone could come out of this a little wiser. I dont see the need for character annihilation.

girlmom21 · 03/10/2021 12:22

[quote SirChenjins]@girlmom21 - so basically your dog is under control in that it doesn’t bother anyone and backs off if anyone comes near it? Sounds like it’s well under control and can be off the lead around people, unlike the OPs dog (and many others), and hopefully didn’t jump on anyone when you were training it.[/quote]
Yeah he's absolutely under control but my point is that he wouldn't have been well trained if we'd stuck to the usual dog training methods because they weren't suitable.

To be honest he's about 22kg smaller than the current size of OP's dog, at a guess, so wouldn't have had the same reaction from exercising man if he was out of control Grin

ChamberofSecrets69 · 03/10/2021 12:29

@Porcupineintherough

Sometimes I think it would be helpful if people coud be less extreme. The OP made a small mistake which she acknowledged ages ago. The dog is not an untrained monster, it's all part trained young dog. The man had the right to exercise but was unwise to choose the location he did and could have been calmer.

It would be nice to think that everyone could come out of this a little wiser. I dont see the need for character annihilation.

Could not have put it better myself @Porcupineintherough
SirChenjins · 03/10/2021 12:54

So quite a difference there @girlmom21!

I did say upthread that he probably shouldn’t exercise right beside another person but it’s reasonable for people using a public space to believe that a dog off lead is off because it’s under control - unless dog owners genuinely believe that we should all think that an off lead dog is actually in training and therefore not under control, and allow them a their own wide berth at all times in a public space. I don’t believe for a second reasonable, responsible dog owners do think that though.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 03/10/2021 12:55

@rwalker. Actually my dogs are both very well behaved. They are well trained and do not approach strangers. This training does take time though and puppies, like children, take time to mature. I'm sure you don't consider yourself an entitled parent when your toddler tantrums in public?

They are very young and the very young do not always go as they are told.

Georgewontsleepnow · 03/10/2021 13:03

Yabu.

I've had well/trained dogs pissing on our clothes pile on the beach, joining picnics, jumping at my paddling toddler- fell over and had to be rescued. Each owner was apologetic and said they were playful. Yeah right.

sunglassesonthetable · 03/10/2021 13:09

I did say upthread that he probably shouldn’t exercise right beside another person but it’s reasonable for people using a public space to believe that a dog off lead is off because it’s under control - unless dog owners genuinely believe that we should all think that an off lead dog is actually in training and therefore not under control, and allow them a their own wide berth at all times in a public space. I don’t believe for a second reasonable, responsible dog owners do think that though.

Yeah but in a massive field give people some space. 🤷‍♀️Not re writing the rule book of training dogs etc

Whatiswrongwithmyknee · 03/10/2021 13:43

The bottom line is you were not in control of a dog which bothered someone else. That is never OK so YABU. Him shouting was not great, but given the number of entitled dog owner I can see how he could have got very frustrated. It may be that the ground where he stopped was better for exercising. It's not OK to think 'I was here first' if you can't control your dog.

SirChenjins · 03/10/2021 13:45

Absolutely - give them some space, it’s common sense, but if you know your dog isn’t under control then get it on a lead, which is also common sense.

Just for the avoidance of doubt - how much space do dog owners believe they should have to themselves in public spaces to enable them to exercise and train their dogs in “real life” situations? 15feet? 40 feet? 70? More?

FirewomanSam · 03/10/2021 13:59

  • Sometimes I think it would be helpful if people coud be less extreme. The OP made a small mistake which she acknowledged ages ago. The dog is not an untrained monster, it's all part trained young dog. The man had the right to exercise but was unwise to choose the location he did and could have been calmer.

It would be nice to think that everyone could come out of this a little wiser. I dont see the need for character annihilation.*

YABU for posting such a fair reasonable and reasonable assessment of the situation on MN @PorcupineintheroughGrin

rwalker · 03/10/2021 14:35

@Moonface123
Do yourself a favour and never ever post on here about a dog being unleashed.
This is an anti dog forum

The only dogs people are anti is uncontrolled ones .

sunglassesonthetable · 03/10/2021 16:04

Just for the avoidance of doubt - how much space do dog owners believe they should have to themselves in public spaces to enable them to exercise and train their dogs in “real life” situations? 15feet? 40 feet? 70? More?

Are you just looking for confrontation?

sunglassesonthetable · 03/10/2021 16:11

@SirChenjins OP agrees with you! she said she should have put her dog straight back onto the lead. She said she made an error of judgment.

And here you are demanding to know how many feet "dog owners believe they should have to themselves "

What are you talking about? Go out and get some fresh air fgs.

Rosebel · 03/10/2021 16:25

I think you were unreasonable. He could have exercised elsewhere but you could have moved. Just because you were there first doesn't mean you own that part of the field.
Tbh I can't bear people who can't control their dogs. As you know your dog is just learning and as you also know puppies can be unpredictable so you should have put a lead on straight away.
He wasn't unreasonable to be annoyed about your dog jumping over him and were you really intimidated when you had a not very small dog with you?

SirChenjins · 03/10/2021 16:31

[quote sunglassesonthetable]**@SirChenjins* OP agrees with you! she said she should have put her dog straight back onto the lead. She said she made an error of judgment.*

And here you are demanding to know how many feet "dog owners believe they should have to themselves "

What are you talking about? Go out and get some fresh air fgs.
[/quote]

  1. No demanding or confrontation
  2. Read my previous posts instead of jumping in and making yourself sound like an idiot with your fresh air comment
  3. Exactly how much space should a dog owner be allowed in a public space? Just so the rest of us know.
NoNotMeNoSiree · 03/10/2021 16:32

You say yourself your puppy is unpredictable.
YABU.
Keep your bloody dog under control.

NoNotMeNoSiree · 03/10/2021 16:33

@Whatiswrongwithmyknee

The bottom line is you were not in control of a dog which bothered someone else. That is never OK so YABU. Him shouting was not great, but given the number of entitled dog owner I can see how he could have got very frustrated. It may be that the ground where he stopped was better for exercising. It's not OK to think 'I was here first' if you can't control your dog.
Yes, this
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