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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Puppy jumping on exercising man

320 replies

disculpe · 02/10/2021 16:26

Perfectly happy to be told I'm being U but I don't think I am. Took my 10 month old puppy (German shepherd) out for a walk this morning with my DS. As most puppies that age are, she is naturally cheeky and pushes the boundaries at times. She is pretty much always walked on a leash because most of the time it's too busy and if she sees another dog she will go mad and try to play as well as jump up on them, so we are careful to make sure she's not able to play with dogs who don't want to play, and so she doesn't knock children over in her excitement.
There is a field near us where we often take the dog on Sat and Sun mornings. It's always quiet on weekend mornings, not many dogs there, and we have been letting her off the lead to play ball there and teach her to come back to us without having to worry about other people or dogs. Was all going well this morning - she was fetching the ball nicely and when people walked past us along the path she completely ignored them and carried on being well behaved. Then a man on a bike stopped about 15 feet from us. He could clearly see us as he kept looking over. Then he started exercising, even though this field is huge and he could have exercised literally anywhere else, a lot further away from a woman, young child and unpredictable puppy. My dog ignored him, carried on playing fetch so I didn't put her on her leash because she was behaving. After about 10 minutes this man started doing push ups and something about that movement excited my dog and she ran over to him, putting her face in his and running around him trying to play. I'm not defending her behavior, I would never want her doing that to anyone and completely understand that German shepherds are big and can look intimidating, and not everyone wants a dog in their face. He started screaming and shouting at me about how I should control my dog, I managed to get her back on her leash and then shouted back at him that of all the places he chose to exercise was within a few feet of me when there was a huge area with no dogs in it that he could have chosen instead. Got my dog back on the lead and walked home with my son. When I got home I realized just how intimidating his behavior was - what sort of person chooses to encroach on someone's space like that? Especially a strange man getting uncomfortably close to a lone woman and child. I know I could have put my dog on her leash and found another spot to play ball as soon as he turned up but the stubborn bitch in me was like "I was here first" and I assumed that as he'd chosen to be there he wasn't too concerned about my dog. I messaged my husband (he's working away) the second I got back and he said no decent man would get that close to an unknown woman in a field when there was ample space elsewhere because decent men don't want to make women feel uncomfortable. So, AIBU for getting angry with him and for not putting my dog on a leash the second he pitched up next to us or was he BU?

OP posts:
Meloncurse · 02/10/2021 16:57

And I think you are also unreasonable to use the word puppy to describe your 10 month old GSD - 'puppy' downplays the situation massively. Far more accurate to describe your dog as an unruly teenager

DaisyWaldron · 02/10/2021 16:59

If I were going for a walk by myself in a field, I would be more wary of a 10 month old off-lead German Shepherd puppy than I would of a single man doing exercises. I think that some don't realise that behaviour can be seen as frightening and dangerous, just as some men don't. Your perception of yourself was "vulnerable woman". My perception of you would have been "person with an uncontrolled dog of the same breed that mauled my 4 year old cousin".

RoastChicory · 02/10/2021 16:59

Two different perspectives.

OP - an excited puppy, jumping round a man wanting to play

Him - an out of control Alsatian barking at him when he was on the ground.

No wonder he was terrified.

EmeraldShamrock · 02/10/2021 17:00

Yabu.
A 10 month un-trained large breed dog with ineffective recall should not be off the lead around people.
Personally I think all large breeds should wear a muzzle in public areas.

FlorenciaFlora · 02/10/2021 17:01

Choosing to exercise 15 foot away from you in a large field is very strange behaviour.

I would have left immediately.

smallybells · 02/10/2021 17:02

YABU. Doesn't matter what he was doing or where - your dog with bad recall was the issue.

sirfredfredgeorge · 02/10/2021 17:02

How do you expect people to train their dogs if they are never allowed to let them off the lead when people are nearby

www.dogparksnearme.co.uk/

Many councils also provide appropriately fenced off areas for exercising of dogs, if yours doesn't ask them, it's a pretty cheap service (requiring nothing but fences and signs) and is popular as it removes the conflict.

Mantlemoose · 02/10/2021 17:02

As a dog owner myself I get very annoyed with untrained dogs and normally I would say you should have put dog on a lead. However in a massive field where you were there first, he should have exercised further away. I actually think its worrying he didn't tbh.

Thatsplentyjack · 02/10/2021 17:02

How very dare you not remove your dog from this MANS space OP. You may very well have been there first, and yes maybe he did come into your space where you and your child were throwing a ball for your young dog, but you should have immediately retreated and let HIM have the space he needed. No wonder he was screaming at you, you have no right to exercise your dog in HIS field!!

MarshaBradyo · 02/10/2021 17:03

@Thatsplentyjack

How very dare you not remove your dog from this MANS space OP. You may very well have been there first, and yes maybe he did come into your space where you and your child were throwing a ball for your young dog, but you should have immediately retreated and let HIM have the space he needed. No wonder he was screaming at you, you have no right to exercise your dog in HIS field!!
Can’t two people use a field without a dog jumping over the second?
Hardbackwriter · 02/10/2021 17:04

I think if he deliberately chose to exercise near you for absolutely no reason then he was being inconsiderate. But I'd stick a small amount of money on it that that's he picked that spot for a reason that isn't to do with you - drier ground, more sheltered, even ground, etc. I was once told off by a dog walker for running too close to her dog - she thought I should have used the other side of the path but that wasn't suitable for running (it's too uneven underfoot). She thought I was being pointlessly intrusive but there was actually a good reason I wanted to go there that was nothing to do with her and her dog, who didn't actually own the space as she appeared to think.

Either way lead should have gone straight on.

seaandsandcastles · 02/10/2021 17:05

(I'm not complaining about him exercising outside but just so close to me)

Why is it wrong to exercise close to someone, OP? Confused

Libertaire · 02/10/2021 17:05

YABU, and you are the sort of dog owner who gives the rest of us who control our dogs properly a bad name. Train your dog. Control your dog. Stop letting it interfere with other people, unless they are clearly inviting the interaction.

The man may have overreacted, but he is entitled to exercise wherever he wants in a public park and he has the right not to be accosted by other people’s out of control dogs.

CoalCraft · 02/10/2021 17:05

I misread that your dog was ten weeks at first and thought that the guy's reaction was over the top, then I realised it was ten months! At ten months a dog is pretty much fully grown and the average person is not going to realise it's young. No wonder the guy freaked out.

YABU. You should have leashed your dog and moved away with her (and if the guy had moved to be near you again THEN you'd have reason to think he's a creep, but not just for choosing to exercise in your vicinity fgs Maybe he always exercises in that spot)

Thatsplentyjack · 02/10/2021 17:06

Many councils also provide appropriately fenced off areas for exercising of dogs, if yours doesn't ask them, it's a pretty cheap service (requiring nothing but fences and signs) and is popular as it removes the conflict.

Well we can't even get the council to let the kids have an area to play football in, so good luck getting them to let dogs have an area, and we live in a place full of fields, parks, green spaces.

BoofTheFloof · 02/10/2021 17:07

We had something similar.... 6 month old lab being walked in summer through what looked like an empty field. We had her off lead doing recall training and throwing a ball. There were a couple (completely invisible) lying down in the very long grass. They were very angry at being "interrupted" 😳 by an overexcited Labrador but I still feel I wasn't in the wrong as I couldn't see them initially. They then made it worse by jumping up and down and flapping items of clothing at her which made it almost impossible to get her back. Frankly we all looked like a Benny Hill sketch from the 1970s. I didnt have full control of the dog- but you can't ever get control unless you train them and we thought we were in an empty field!

2020in2020 · 02/10/2021 17:07

I’m with you OP. Some men are incapable of doing things without an audience, the dog was off lead when he arrived, if he was nervous of dogs he could have gone elsewhere. I wonder where you live? On holiday in Cornwall this summer we and another, separate family were enjoying the beach and both our dogs were off lead (we specifically chose the beach due to this being allowed, before people start) and the dogs were both behaving brilliantly. A man arrived and chose to take his top off and do push ups about 10 feet from two groups of families, huffing and puffing. There was a whole stretch of unoccupied beach. They just can’t help themselves.

deeni · 02/10/2021 17:08

Sorry but you're the dog owner. It's always 100% on you to control it. If you can't you shouldn't own one.

Saucery · 02/10/2021 17:08

@BoofTheFloof

We had something similar.... 6 month old lab being walked in summer through what looked like an empty field. We had her off lead doing recall training and throwing a ball. There were a couple (completely invisible) lying down in the very long grass. They were very angry at being "interrupted" 😳 by an overexcited Labrador but I still feel I wasn't in the wrong as I couldn't see them initially. They then made it worse by jumping up and down and flapping items of clothing at her which made it almost impossible to get her back. Frankly we all looked like a Benny Hill sketch from the 1970s. I didnt have full control of the dog- but you can't ever get control unless you train them and we thought we were in an empty field!
Grin Grin
Thatsplentyjack · 02/10/2021 17:10

YABU. You should have leashed your dog and moved away with her (and if the guy had moved to be near you again THEN you'd have reason to think he's a creep, but not just for choosing to exercise in your vicinity fgs Maybe he always exercises in that spot)

So he owns the spot? It's a fucking field! Why should OP have to move because he decided to get uncomfortably close. That's his problem. He took that risk when he got som close.

easterndreaming · 02/10/2021 17:11

I understand your apprehension about a man choosing to exercise too near for comfort when he could have moved further away, but that doesn't change the fact that you were in the wrong with your dog in that it could have been anybody exercising, another woman a teenager etc. The dog needs to be on lead until trained. It is your responsibility to find the best way to do this without causing distress to others, whether that be in your own garden or at a dog park, training class etc.

MarshaBradyo · 02/10/2021 17:12

@Thatsplentyjack

YABU. You should have leashed your dog and moved away with her (and if the guy had moved to be near you again THEN you'd have reason to think he's a creep, but not just for choosing to exercise in your vicinity fgs Maybe he always exercises in that spot)

So he owns the spot? It's a fucking field! Why should OP have to move because he decided to get uncomfortably close. That's his problem. He took that risk when he got som close.

Neither own the field. Just control the dog instead.
Wideawakeandconfused · 02/10/2021 17:12

Of course you were at fault!! What if that had been a child. Have a word with yourself. Train on a long lead until you’ve got 100% control of your puppy. If someone comes too close, you move elsewhere - how the heck are they to know you don’t have full control of your puppy. Learn from your mistake.

WorraLiberty · 02/10/2021 17:12

I know I could have put my dog on her leash and found another spot to play ball as soon as he turned up but the stubborn bitch in me was like "I was here first" and I assumed that as he'd chosen to be there he wasn't too concerned about my dog.

This ^^ is the sort of attitude and behaviour that gives dog owners a bad name.

YABVU.

Also, how close to you was he that you think he was encroaching on your space?

Thatsplentyjack · 02/10/2021 17:13

@seaandsandcastles

(I'm not complaining about him exercising outside but just so close to me)

Why is it wrong to exercise close to someone, OP? Confused

Well when you've got a whole field why would you stand right next to someone to exercise? What an odd thing to do. Could if be that it was done on purpose maybe...hmm....
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