To say there are some decent men

[Poppyscone]

I know there are many threads about how shit men are. It may be a shit partner not helping, abused by a stranger, sexism etc etc etc.

But to say some men are decent. My DH said this morning re the policemen just sentenced “we men are mostly basically shit aren’t we”
I told him he was one of the good ones and the good ones need to carry on trying to challenging these men who basically hate women
My DH had challenged many men over their behaviour towards women including dropping friendships.

I have epilepsy and DH had always had my back and supported me. Done more then his fare share with kids including most night feeds as well as working full time which I can do. Letting me sleep and recover after a seizure and taking charge without complaining.

He always make me feel good about myself, never pesters for sex and is a good dad.

Yep sure he had his faults he is a bit disorganised and he seems to think dirty clothes belong on the bedroom floor (but does pick them up when asked)
He snores like a machine gun and I have to wear earplug but on the whole he is a decent bloke and I am sure there are many more out there. I would just like to here about them

@SuperstarDog

Another one telling is their husband is a good one. We don’t fucking care!

This.

@LukeEvansWife

Everyone thinks their husbands/sons/brothers are the "good ones". Clearly some people are wrong.

Mrs Couzens thought her husband was one of the good ones too, apparently. www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/sarah-everard-murder-trial-wayne-couzens-wife-b945028.html%3famp

Men need to sort this the fuck out, not women, MEN.

I don't know of one fucking man I know personally who hasnt turned out to be a shit in some way, not fucking one.

Even if it's just laughing at rape jokes, or leaving his partner to do all the life work, or housework, or childcare.

NOT. FUCKING. ONE.

One of the supposedly "best fathers ever!" is into prostitutes, his wife has no fucking idea, he's the head of his church ffs.

I only know cos of the bar work I was doing at the time.

My ex used to literally turn his head and stare at girls who were clearly younger than his daughters until I pointed out how sick that was.

It's the constant drip drip of it.

Bet the wife of the ice cream man didn't think he was going round making creepy comments to fucking 9 year olds, but he was.

Save this Not All Men chat for another fucking week.

I'm so tired.

I know I'm banging on but I am so so fucking angry at men right now.

So. Fucking. Angry.

They fucking deserve the anger, even the supposedly nice guys just don't fucking step up when it's needed.

Fuck them all.

They don't want to be tarred with this brush, then fucking sort yourselves out.

They don't want to be tarred with this brush, then fucking sort yourselves out.

Preach.

@RozHuntleysLeftHand Couldn't have said it better myself

True translation of this thread:

Poor menz feel attacked and have hurt feelings because a man killed a woman.

It should be:

Men feel appalled and disgusted that a man brutally kidnapped, raped and murdered a young woman.

The vast majority of men I know are decent. So of course YANBU. But I think it's fair to focus on the ones that aren't decent though in light of current events.

There is a very obvious male violence problem that should be addressed and focused on to see what can be done to make women and children safer.

@RozHuntleysLeftHand

I know I'm banging on but I am so so fucking angry at men right now.

So. Fucking. Angry.

They fucking deserve the anger, even the supposedly nice guys just don't fucking step up when it's needed.

Fuck them all.

They don't want to be tarred with this brush, then fucking sort yourselves out.

Could not agree with this more. And, if your immediate reaction to today’s sentencing for an absolute scum of the earth bastard rapist and murderer is to come on here to bleat about how good your partner is and how not all men are bad, then you are pathetic and need to have a good fucking look at yourself.

RIP Sarah.

[quote IfImLyingImDying]@Feelingoktoday you’re missing the big glaring obvious point

“What goes on a stag stays on a stag” and men not challenging their friend’s banter is why 97% of young women are abused. It’s exactly that culture that needs to change.

We need men to stand up against this behaviour. If they don’t, they are just helping towards making VAWAG continue.[/quote]
I’m not missing the point at all. I agree we NEED men to challenge their friends etc. BUT they are not going to. There is such loyalty to their mates. Us mums can bring up lovely boys but when they get out with their mates most are not lovely. They will not stand up against their mates.

One guy committing a heinous crime doesn't warrant an overall judgment of men. I am not saying you are judging. I think you love your husband so dearly and want to express in this forum how great he is.

But we all know there are good and bad apples in everything... men and women.

@RozHuntleysLeftHand

Men need to sort this the fuck out, not women, MEN.

I don't know of one fucking man I know personally who hasnt turned out to be a shit in some way, not fucking one.

Even if it's just laughing at rape jokes, or leaving his partner to do all the life work, or housework, or childcare.

NOT. FUCKING. ONE.

One of the supposedly "best fathers ever!" is into prostitutes, his wife has no fucking idea, he's the head of his church ffs.

I only know cos of the bar work I was doing at the time.

My ex used to literally turn his head and stare at girls who were clearly younger than his daughters until I pointed out how sick that was.

It's the constant drip drip of it.

Bet the wife of the ice cream man didn't think he was going round making creepy comments to fucking 9 year olds, but he was.

Exactly this.

I find this being angry with men because of one man so weird.

Are you angry with ‘women’ when you hear one went off and partied while their baby starved to death? Or dogs, when one dog attacks a child. What happened to individual responsibility?

There seems to be a lot of anger with men voiced, but the vote is, thankfully. a lot more even.

Do you think Wayne Couzens wife thought he was one of the 'good men' when she married him?

This is in very taste

RIP Sarah
My only thoughts today are with her family

@TheReluctantPhoenix

I find this being angry with men because of one man so weird.

Are you angry with ‘women’ when you hear one went off and partied while their baby starved to death? Or dogs, when one dog attacks a child. What happened to individual responsibility?

There seems to be a lot of anger with men voiced, but the vote is, thankfully. a lot more even.

Its not one man though.

Its multiple men, every fucking day.

@TheReluctantPhoenix
Did anyone start a thread saying NOT ALL WOMEN. After that woman left her kid to die.
Nope. Didn’t think so, because we just know it’s rare. Sadly male violence isn’t

@TheVanguardSix

Everyone thinks their brothers/fathers/sons/partners are the decent ones though

Yep! Currently- and this'll bring some sunshine to the day- my SIL, my daughter's godfather, and a close male family friend have all rallied around my STBXH as he cries 'poor me! After 30 years of being an upstanding GP, I got caught sexually abusing my own daughter. Nobody knew for 4 years and now I'm in big trouble because I got caught. Boo hoo! Poor widdle me!'

As for my abused daughter, not a soul on her father's side of the family is supporting her. He's a 'good brother' they keep saying... a good uncle... a good man. He has a good side!! He's not all bad. This sexual abuse is a bad part of him but the whole of him is good. Yada fucking yada yada yada.
I want to stab myself in the eyes!
Where's that Lee Evans 'talking shit, talking shit, talking shit' meme when I need it?

Same position my ex has also been arrested for raping his ex fiance but his family say he is such a kindhearted man people take advantage of him its really not his fault

So she forced you to pin her up the wall by her throat aye?

@LateDecemberBackInLowB12,

Well, not murdering it isn’t.

And what proportion allows you to treat men as a class, but not neglectful women or vicious dogs?

Personally, I take each person as an individual, woman or man, and judge them on how they are. And yes, I would cross the road if there were a large group of men, but that would not make me assume they were bad as individuals. The two are not the same.

[quote TheReluctantPhoenix]@LateDecemberBackInLowB12,

Well, not murdering it isn’t.

And what proportion allows you to treat men as a class, but not neglectful women or vicious dogs?

Personally, I take each person as an individual, woman or man, and judge them on how they are. And yes, I would cross the road if there were a large group of men, but that would not make me assume they were bad as individuals. The two are not the same.[/quote]
Sorry, what? Would you cross the road for a large group of women?

I watched a man reading about this murder in the paper and wondered how it would feel to be a man at this time. Whether they dissociate from it, whether they are on edge or have altered their behaviour etc

@TheReluctantPhoenix

I find this being angry with men because of one man so weird.

Are you angry with ‘women’ when you hear one went off and partied while their baby starved to death? Or dogs, when one dog attacks a child. What happened to individual responsibility?

There seems to be a lot of anger with men voiced, but the vote is, thankfully. a lot more even.

Nah I'm sorry but this is bullshit.

Read my posts.

Tell me again how most blokes are decent.

There can't be a tiny amount of men leering at school girls, wanking on the tube, making rape jokes, sulking when they don't get sex, pressuring for sex, or simply leaving their partner to do all the work, there just can't.
It doesn't make sense.
It doesn't have to be rape and murder.

Do you really think all the guys who expose themselves/grab the barmaids arse/make cimments/leer at school girls are a tiny subset of men??!

Look at the fucking stats.

Really?!

These are husbands/fathers/brothers.

Even if a bloke just let's a rape joke go by, or a dodgy comment, he's a shit, sorry.

Here come the men with hurt feelings and their Not My Nigels to tell us to get back on script about bad apples. Fuck that noise. They called him the rapist. He had three allegations of indecent exposure. He was allowed to carry on working. He still had a warrant card.

Well, not murdering it isn’t

Your standards may be that low, but mine certainly aren't.

Is that where your bar is? "Men don't murder women every day." I absolutely despair, in England and Wales alone a woman is murdered by her partner every 3-4 days.

Assaults and rapes are a daily occourance, multiple times every day.

Sexual harrassment is probably every minute.

You are either deluded, or your sitting there hoping for a wee pat on the head from your man for defending him in the internet against all these silly women who think men are big bullies.