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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I nasty?

155 replies

hettysfeathers · 27/09/2021 11:11

DP and I live 100 miles apart. Last night on the phone, he asked me to text him today.

I posted a photo for my friend's birthday at 9am, he then text me calling me a dick head for not texting him and telling me to go away when I replied.

He then said he didn't want to speak to me and I said "ok, don't expect me to reply when you've finished having a tantrum".

He said that he was doing the healthy thing and that I was punishing him for not wanting to talk either. I said, no, I wasn't punishing him, I just wasn't marching to the beat of his drum.

He has now said "I think I'll go for the unhealthy route in future, laugh at what you say and tell you to fuck off". This is what he does a lot during arguments, which he knows is a problem and upsets me.

He has said I am being unreasonable and nasty.

AIBU?!

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/09/2021 11:13

That’s the end of that relationship then!

TheChip · 27/09/2021 11:14

No. He is being an absolute dick. Tell him to take the fuck off route, and when he gets there to fuck off some more. Then block him

Original poster
hettysfeathers · 27/09/2021 11:14

I should also add, I was going to text him. We don't text each other right when we wake up.

OP posts:
Stuckhere2021 · 27/09/2021 11:14

YABU even to even ask OP. This sounds like the sort of drama my DC got involved in in their teens. I could not accept this in my life from anyone.

Noshowwithoutpunch · 27/09/2021 11:14

Yabu giving this guy any headspace.
He's a complete idiot.
Delete him, block him and move on up.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/09/2021 11:15

Because he’s been an absolute dickhead, if that wasn’t clear.

Red flags all over the place!

Brollywasntneededafterall · 27/09/2021 11:15

Yabu to even still have him in your contacts...

Imcatmum · 27/09/2021 11:17

Jeez, I couldn't be in a relationship with someone so petty and huffy.

MrsRobbieHart · 27/09/2021 11:21

How juvenile and exhausting. Why even bother asking about this Op? It’s nonsense. He is nonsense. Don’t waste your time. Dump and move on.

MrsRobbieHart · 27/09/2021 11:22

And btw you see this “text me in the morning” crap?? Fuck that off for starters. If he wants to interact with you then he can text you. He doesn’t get to dictate that you contact him. That’s all about control.

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/09/2021 11:22

Is that how he usually speaks to you? Do you realise it’s not normal or okay?

HollowTalk · 27/09/2021 11:24

Thank god it's long distance. You'll never have to see this particular prick again.

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 27/09/2021 11:25

I mean come on, OP. He’s being an absolute prick. Why in the world would you do anything other than end this immediately?

Winniewonka · 27/09/2021 11:27

You know you deserve better than this. If you ask someone to contact you and I noticed you used the word 'told' which sounds like an instruction to me for starters, then you don't get to dictate the time that they contact you. It should be at their convenience, otherwise you ring the person!
Do you really want a relationship with someone who behaves like a giant baby?

Original poster
hettysfeathers · 27/09/2021 11:35

Thank you for your responses. He's adamant I'm in the wrong, I don't want to end things with him but if he can't even see that he's wrong I don't know what I can do

OP posts:
Xiaoxiong · 27/09/2021 11:35

His reaction is outrageous. I'd text and say "this isn't working, I think we should go our separate ways. All the best for your future, hettys" and block him.

TheChip · 27/09/2021 11:37

Why do you want to stay with somebody like that?
Someone who says that in the future they're going to just laugh at what you say and tell you to fuck off?

Xiaoxiong · 27/09/2021 11:39

You don't live together, you don't even live close by, you argue a lot, he picks fights, he behaves like an immature prick and intentionally upsets you. I can't think of any reason why you wouldn't end things with him immediately. You don't deserve to be treated this way.

MrsRobbieHart · 27/09/2021 11:40

I don't want to end things with him

Why the hell not? Confused he isn’t nice to you. That’s a bare minimum expectation for anyone who you choose to spend time with.

JorisBonson · 27/09/2021 11:41

Is he 12?

NotYourCupOfTea · 27/09/2021 11:41

Why on earth do you not want to end things, how can a relationship like this possibly make you happy Confused

NotYourCupOfTea · 27/09/2021 11:42

He sounds utterly vile imagine if you actually lived with him!

Auroreforet · 27/09/2021 11:42

He's jealous of you saying happy birthday to a friend before texting him?
Immature prick. You can do better.

Regularsizedrudy · 27/09/2021 11:43

Jesus if someone can be this annoying from 100 miles away I dread to think what they are like in person. What exactly do you get from this dickhead?

Shoxfordian · 27/09/2021 11:45

Just block him