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Original poster

Royal Mail delivery man just warned DH I'm spending his money!!

384 replies

VitalsStable · 26/09/2021 10:42

I know not a huge issue in the grand scheme of things but just had a parcel delivered. DH opened door as I was busy heeding the call of nature.

The delivery man handed over the parcel to my husband and then mentioned in a strange voice that it had my name on it and he needed warning that I'm spending his money.

DH was a bit WTF and didn't say anything but was quite cross when he shut the door and said it was completely inappropriate.

The delivery was Christmas presents which I actually paid for from money I earned and although DH is the higher earner in our household the bloody Royal Mail guy wasn't aware of that. DH could have been my brother, a SAHD or had bought something on an account with my name on, I could be the higher earner and DH could be blowing my hard earned cash on frivolities.

Gggrrrr, sad that this idea of women still prevails in 2021.

OP posts:
Strawbsaturno · 26/09/2021 10:46

This happened to me as well!!! He Handed the parcel over to DH, winked and said ‘she’s spending your money again mate!’
I was livid… I work FT and pay for my own bloody stuff.

Jaxhog · 26/09/2021 10:48

Micro sexism. Sadly common.

DrManhattan · 26/09/2021 10:48

It sounds dated. Can't see any of the young people today saying something like that. Good!

girlmom21 · 26/09/2021 10:50

What a knobhead!

hulahooper2 · 26/09/2021 10:50

I’m sure it was a jocular comment , you are overthinking this

nyktipolos · 26/09/2021 10:51

I think they are trying to be funny. Not be insulting. But it is really shit.

We had the same from a tiler this week. He was asking some questions about the floor. I made the decision, because I own the house and I am doing it up to sell in a few years. I out earn dp by alot and I I paying for it all. There was a 'oh your money but her decision eh? Hahhahaaa' I just looked at him.

Dp laughed and said 'are you kidding mate?...she earns tons more than me. Its her money, her decision'

I am guessing because I am at home in my joggers all week, it must has escaped his tiny little mind that I was wfh, because he was here. 🙄

goawayalcg · 26/09/2021 10:51

Absolutely not overthinking. U less we start overthinking a bit, this crap will never stop. It permeates the minds of the children of people who say this stuff. It needs to be addressed.

BarbaraofSeville · 26/09/2021 10:52

Everyday sexism and so so tiresome.

Some time ago, I bumped into DPs uncle while out in town and he made a similar comment. My eyes rolled so far back into my head, I saw my own brain.

In my experience it's usually men who spend too much on gadgets and other non essentials, or hobbies, while women are the ones making sure the bills get paid and there's money saved for a rainy day.

Ivy48 · 26/09/2021 10:52

Oh god this has happened a few times recently! I think as I’m WFH they think I’ve no money of my own and spending his. I was infuriated too! Annoying thing is half the items were bits he’d asked me to order for him! Beside the point anyway, no one should comment on what you’re spending unless it impacts them directly. Also so sexist I was annoyed

EdithGrantham · 26/09/2021 10:52

What an idiot, have experienced similar when I scraped my car on a gate post, driving instructor in a parked car on the other side of the road got out to say "Your husband's not going to be very happy" Hmm

OrangeJuiceAndNoodles · 26/09/2021 10:52

I couldn't get wound up by this. I get why it's annoying though.

It's amazing that people are still out there thinking all women are SAHMs.

Sexnotgender · 26/09/2021 10:54

What a tool. Everyday sexism is so pervasive.

grapewine · 26/09/2021 10:54

This would piss me off. Your husband should have said something. It's not OK.

Dinoroaraus · 26/09/2021 10:58

@hulahooper2

I’m sure it was a jocular comment , you are overthinking this
No, you're underthinking it.
grapewine · 26/09/2021 10:58

@nyktipolos

I think they are trying to be funny. Not be insulting. But it is really shit.

We had the same from a tiler this week. He was asking some questions about the floor. I made the decision, because I own the house and I am doing it up to sell in a few years. I out earn dp by alot and I I paying for it all. There was a 'oh your money but her decision eh? Hahhahaaa' I just looked at him.

Dp laughed and said 'are you kidding mate?...she earns tons more than me. Its her money, her decision'

I am guessing because I am at home in my joggers all week, it must has escaped his tiny little mind that I was wfh, because he was here. 🙄

Did the tiler react to your DP's response?

What a twat, the tiler, thinking he was funny.

PlanDeRaccordement · 26/09/2021 10:58

This also would not upset me in the moment but not because it is ok. More because I’ve heard sexist jokes like that all my life so am desensitised to it. I think of water off a duck and don’t let it get me down.

ThreeLittleDots · 26/09/2021 10:58

He thought it was funny but it's not..

I hated being told to 'smile' when a courier wanted a photo of my delivery on doorstep

tttigress · 26/09/2021 10:58

It's annoying, don't know what to suggest though.

ItsNotMeAnymore · 26/09/2021 10:59

This wouldn’t bother me, it’s mildly annoying but just a joke.

BunnytheFriendlyDragon · 26/09/2021 10:59

It's inappropriate in this day but it's also funny that you say Dh could have been a SAHD but is actually the high earner. I don't know why that made me laugh.

He should realise women don't just spend their husbands' money these days.

But I order lots of things with my own money and I am the higher earner in our household. The delivery person is a woman...

HuhWhatNow · 26/09/2021 11:00

This would not make me upset.

Until later when I think back and gat angry with myself for following my conditioning of being nice, smiling and not calling out sexist pricks like this.

Roominmyhouse · 26/09/2021 11:00

Next time call him out on it!

Sarcobaleno · 26/09/2021 11:01

We all need to call these micro-sexisms out, men as well. I'm sure your postie didn't mean to offend at all but comments like that betray how far society has to go.

AuralSpecs · 26/09/2021 11:02

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Giggorata · 26/09/2021 11:02

@goawayalcg

Absolutely not overthinking. U less we start overthinking a bit, this crap will never stop. It permeates the minds of the children of people who say this stuff. It needs to be addressed.
I agree with the above. If we let comments like this pass unchallenged, it is as good as agreeing with them.