Royal Mail delivery man just warned DH I'm spending his money!!

[VitalsStable]

I know not a huge issue in the grand scheme of things but just had a parcel delivered. DH opened door as I was busy heeding the call of nature.

The delivery man handed over the parcel to my husband and then mentioned in a strange voice that it had my name on it and he needed warning that I'm spending his money.

DH was a bit WTF and didn't say anything but was quite cross when he shut the door and said it was completely inappropriate.

The delivery was Christmas presents which I actually paid for from money I earned and although DH is the higher earner in our household the bloody Royal Mail guy wasn't aware of that. DH could have been my brother, a SAHD or had bought something on an account with my name on, I could be the higher earner and DH could be blowing my hard earned cash on frivolities.

Gggrrrr, sad that this idea of women still prevails in 2021.

@CherryHug

Where are you that RM delivers on a Sunday?

Ours have been delivering on a Sunday throughout the pandemic

[quote Annabellerina]@caramelchaos I work in a school and I insist on addressing all school letters to "mrs and mr" and also calling dad first when poorly kid needs to go home/has forgotten PE kit. My daily acts of micro rebellion make me feel better![/quote]
Fabulous! The calling dad first when a child is sick is brilliant. This still seems so rare.

@CherryHug

Where are you that RM delivers on a Sunday?

They do it round here when they are short of drivers and they have to give people alternate day deliveries.

[quote Annabellerina]@caramelchaos I work in a school and I insist on addressing all school letters to "mrs and mr" and also calling dad first when poorly kid needs to go home/has forgotten PE kit. My daily acts of micro rebellion make me feel better![/quote]
Then my DH would have to phone me to pick up our ill daughter/drop something off. I work less than one mile away, he works 35 miles away!

[quote Seeline]@Trinacham get ready to grow a thick skin! You will be on the receiving end of so many comments like this and worse. And sadly not just from men.[/quote]
😟

Oh I've seen this so often, it's not noteworthy any more.

I had 3 builders come out to quote for an extension to MY house, DP was here as interested. One guy talked at DP the whole time; if I asked a question, he paused just long enough to make the point that he's ignoring me, then answered to DP.
Seen it with car sales too.
Window salesmen - ask to come at a time when the 'whole family' (ie the MAN) is home.

It's my house, my decision and my money.

@Annabellerina That is why I'm also first on the priority list

Oh I once had a very "right-on" head when ds was in nursery steaming furious because they hadn't been able to contact me all day. 1998 so a bit before everyone had mobiles. I asked why, if it had been such an issue, they hadn't called my husband. She said she didn't know she could. His number was on the form. Bizarre.

@VitalsStable

I'm not overly angry. Just peeved. So what if I was spending his money (I do that too, just not on this occasion) and he doesn't care in the slightest.

DH said it most certainly wasn't said in a jokey way. He was just so shocked at the inappropriateness of it that he was speechless.

DH was a bit WTF and didn't say anything but was quite cross when he shut the door and said it was completely inappropriate.

DH said it most certainly wasn't said in a jokey way. He was just so shocked at the inappropriateness of it that he was speechless.

Yeah see this is a massive part of the problem.

All the men who are either unwilling to simply say, "No mate, she's spending her own money", or are apparently too 'shocked and speechless', are definitely adding to the problem.

In fact turning a blind eye to anything whether it's sexism, racism, disablism or anything else, makes us part of the problem.

Perhaps next time he'll say something.

A car salesman told me to come back with my dh.
I told him I was buying a car for myself thanks and knew what I wanted.
I didn't go back obviously.

I work for Royal Mail … I experience sexism daily in the workplace . It is a horrible atmosphere to work in .

A courier said this to my DH, he said: "actually I'm spending hers".

@forinborin

I had someone to come from a well known home renovation company to give a quote (for a window replacement) and demanded to talk to the head of the family to ensure they are OK with it. I am single (a single parent too). Then I got - ahhh, aren't you lucky to be able to have all this (abstract hand waving). No, not lucky, just worked hard.

I had this a couple of years ago when I got someone in to quote for windows and a new door.

Him ‘’We will need to speak to your husband, is he here?”

Me. “I bloody hope not, he’s been dead for a year!’’

I walked out of a garage when I was looking at buying a new car and they only talked to DH

Oh, so the Royal Mail deliver on Sundays where you are, do they?

Fancy that.

@lorca

Oh I've seen this so often, it's not noteworthy any more.

I had 3 builders come out to quote for an extension to MY house, DP was here as interested. One guy talked at DP the whole time; if I asked a question, he paused just long enough to make the point that he's ignoring me, then answered to DP.
Seen it with car sales too.
Window salesmen - ask to come at a time when the 'whole family' (ie the MAN) is home.

It's my house, my decision and my money.

And your DP immediately said, "Don't tell me, mate. This is her house, her decision and her money".

Right?

I think this is a "postie joke" because we have had the same and I assume we don't all have the same postie. It didn't bother me. Even though I'm the high earner we sometimes still joke with each other over a parcel delivery saying things like "sorry sending your money on harpic again or whatever.

If we let comments like this pass unchallenged, it is as good as agreeing with them.

No it’s not as good as agreeing with them. And why am I obligated to call out sexism when it happens to me? Surely it is my choice if I have the mental energy to address on the spot or not?

@blacksax

Oh, so the Royal Mail deliver on Sundays where you are, do they?

Fancy that.

My thoughts exactly. 😉

A Tesco check out assistant asked if my husband (now ex) was “under the thumb” at home too

There’s sexist expressions and conceptions on both sides but generally ignore when it’s negative against men

I can sort of get it with blue collar workers but what really pisses me off are outpatient departments where the men are called Mr Jones and the women Mary Jones. I get the Ms/Miss/Mrs thing and not wanting to offend but why not call the men Fred Jones rather than Mr Fred Jones. I think it's called equality and you would think they could understand it not least when a Brighton hospital has replaced references to breastfeeding feeding with chest feeding

@blacksax

Oh, so the Royal Mail deliver on Sundays where you are, do they?

Fancy that.

There's always one 🙄

@blacksax

Oh, so the Royal Mail deliver on Sundays where you are, do they?

Fancy that.

They do and have been in some areas throughout the pandemic. Especially when large numbers of staff are sick. Or at christmas when everyone was shopping online. We often get deliveries every 2 days and if they do that they do a Sunday delivery

I don’t know why people get worked up with this! He was obviously joking!

I would have laughed! Bigger things in life to get worked up about .

Royal Mail deliver everywhere on a Sunday only specific products .