Royal Mail delivery man just warned DH I'm spending his money!!

[VitalsStable]

I know not a huge issue in the grand scheme of things but just had a parcel delivered. DH opened door as I was busy heeding the call of nature.

The delivery man handed over the parcel to my husband and then mentioned in a strange voice that it had my name on it and he needed warning that I'm spending his money.

DH was a bit WTF and didn't say anything but was quite cross when he shut the door and said it was completely inappropriate.

The delivery was Christmas presents which I actually paid for from money I earned and although DH is the higher earner in our household the bloody Royal Mail guy wasn't aware of that. DH could have been my brother, a SAHD or had bought something on an account with my name on, I could be the higher earner and DH could be blowing my hard earned cash on frivolities.

Gggrrrr, sad that this idea of women still prevails in 2021.

Very annoying. Id report it.

I would report it then not think about it.

@Blankspace4

This would annoy me too (just like BA sending all booking confirmations to “MR Blank” - even when I have booked and paid for the flights)

This drives me bananas! My credit card, me doing all the admin, my email address, me as lead passenger- fucking BA still send the email to ‘Dear Mr Doesn’t-even-Share-My-Surname’.

My friend (who has recently come into money) was rudely ignored at a car showroom recently, even after she’d asked for assistance twice. All the assistants were male. She left and ripped them to shreds on social media.

It’s not harmless in any way.

Isn’t it? Describe the damage.

Yeah, Royal Mail do parcel only deliveries on Sundays here. Started a few months ago, get around £14 an hour for it.

You could have simply googled ‘Royal Mail, Sunday’ instead of making a dick of yourself.

@Blossomtoes

It’s not harmless in any way.

Isn’t it? Describe the damage.

It perpetuates the narrative of the gold digger and the poor fleeced husband.

When i left my x i was broke for over a decade while he had everythingvand his freedom. Yet he still bought in to that established narrative that he was the victim. It was "all about money" with me apparently 🙄🤔

@CherryHug

Where are you that RM delivers on a Sunday?

That's what I was thinking.

People are so snow flakey theses day no one can take even a little joke. We will all be waking around with blank faces soon
With no sense of humour what do ever incase we offend anyone with the slightest thing said. I don't even know what your DH told you

** DrRamsesEmerson

Blankspace4
This would annoy me too (just like BA sending all booking confirmations to “MR Blank” - even when I have booked and paid for the flights)
This drives me bananas! My credit card, me doing all the admin, my email address, me as lead passenger- fucking BA still send the email to ‘Dear Mr Doesn’t-even-Share-My-Surname’.

Bollox they do

They lift it from the lead passenger email. Simple as that.

It perpetuates the narrative of the gold digger and the poor fleeced husband.

It actually does the opposite because it’s ironic, ie a joke.

Id be livid. The other day, i was in a furniture shop, answering a work email on my phone. Salesman comes over. Asks if i need help. No thanks, i said. Then he looks wt my phone and asks if im texting for permission. Wtf?

So for those who think it is nothing what are your thoughts about the salesmen who only speak to men, same attitude about who earns the money?

And schools teach DC that this attitude is not okay, so we should be teaching them it’s not ok either. And it’s not just about money, it’s the belief that males are superior to women.

@forinborin

I had someone to come from a well known home renovation company to give a quote (for a window replacement) and demanded to talk to the head of the family to ensure they are OK with it. I am single (a single parent too). Then I got - ahhh, aren't you lucky to be able to have all this (abstract hand waving). No, not lucky, just worked hard.

I am a single mum on benefits, when I wasnt single my ex was a none physical domestic abuser. thankfully he left by his own volition after deeming us not the family he wanted and lining up a new victim, so we live in the same property we did when I was with my ex.

anyway the point is I found the attitude of the handy man who works for the landlord completely changed towards me after the ex left he became less polite and more blase about actually doing anything.

Can you imagine a man getting his pants in a twist if a postie said to him as he handed over a parcel to his wife

“You’re under her thumb aren’t you?!”

Would fake a smile and forget it

Well a Hermes delivery man recently said to me in a very bitter way “They must be paying you well at [my place of work]” to which I replied to say that I actually have two jobs and that one is actually my part- time job. Idiot.

I don’t know who these people think they are to make comments (and sexist one in your case) about people they don’t know!

Why did your husband not deal with the comment then and there? Why tell you what the man said, what was the point of that.

@toomuchlaundry

So for those who think it is nothing what are your thoughts about the salesmen who only speak to men, same attitude about who earns the money?

And schools teach DC that this attitude is not okay, so we should be teaching them it’s not ok either. And it’s not just about money, it’s the belief that males are superior to women.

@toomuchlaundry When buying our car, the salesman spoke to my husband as it was my husband asking the questions as he knows about cars, I do not.

My husband earns the most money. Whenever people joke about me spending his money, I laugh it off as its a joke and people having a sense of humour.

Only on Mumsnet do you see women so hyped up about men allegedly being superior to women...

Very touchy, it was probably a joke. I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at this 🤷‍♀️

I think you have been very lucky in workplaces etc if you have never experienced men thinking they are superior to women @StarfishDish

FWIW I’m the higher earner in the household by 28k - I’d still find it lighthearted humour 🤷‍♀️

@Saladovercrispsanyday

Can you imagine a man getting his pants in a twist if a postie said to him as he handed over a parcel to his wife

“You’re under her thumb aren’t you?!”

Would fake a smile and forget it

If men routinely and systematically experienced sexism every day of their lives you would have a point. As it stands, you don't.

@toomuchlaundry

I think you have been very lucky in workplaces etc if you have never experienced men thinking they are superior to women *@StarfishDish*

@toomuchlaundry Clearly I have The only problem in the workplace I've had was with a woman who thought she was much better than I was and treat me appallingly.

@Saladovercrispsanyday

** DrRamsesEmerson

Blankspace4
This would annoy me too (just like BA sending all booking confirmations to “MR Blank” - even when I have booked and paid for the flights)
This drives me bananas! My credit card, me doing all the admin, my email address, me as lead passenger- fucking BA still send the email to ‘Dear Mr Doesn’t-even-Share-My-Surname’.

Bollox they do

They lift it from the lead passenger email. Simple as that.

They send it to my email account, but addressed to him.

I don’t think “ironic” sexism is funny and I’m not going to laugh it off. It doesn’t mean I have no sense of humour, it just means I don’t find tired old sexism funny. Oh, wommenz be shopping? Haha. So original.

It’s annoying.

What about jokes about women’s work and how they should be the ones doing housework, parenting? Are they ok?

See plenty of examples on here where men think it is fine for women to do everything in the home. Is that a funny joke?