DH wants me to stay home as he has covid

[ericaandfamily]

DH tested positive for covid yesterday after 4 days of symptoms (he self isolated from the day he had symptoms).

I am office based and double jabbed. I have a work event in London today and then I am meant to be seeing friends after (friends I haven't seen in 2 years).

If we are double jabbed, work are not allowing us to work at home - they want everyone in the office.

DH has a temperature and says he aches, has been sleeping on the sofa with a duvet. I am out of the house from 7-7 this week at work so I've been avoiding him (in a nice way) as I get in from work, shower and then have been watching TV in the bedroom as he is sleeping a lot. Apart from handing him paracetamol, making him dinner and drinks of course.

He says I should go to work then stay in tonight, he is 30, healthy, double jabbed. Yes, he is poorly but is able to shower/move about etc.

We don't have any children.

He has now got the complete ump because I still want to go tonight, my friends are aware of his positive covid test, I am wearing a mask in public still and using antibac lots and have done throughout the pandemic. Touch wood, I haven't had it.

Am I unfair for leaving him on his own today? He has bottles of water, I made him breakfast, he has paracetamol and cold patches for his head. I feel like a shit wife for wanting to go out because he said it's selfish and now I don't know what to do!

If he was unable to move/breathless then yes I would absolutely stay in but I have my phone on me, I am not drinking, he's 5 days in with symptoms.

Any thoughts? Fully prepared to be told I'm unfair.

Wondering whether your friends know your partner has Covid: they need to make an informed decision, too.

(Ie: I wouldn’t want to meet you because my husband is CEV)

[quote marykitty]@DamnUserName21
If I were sick and wanted my DH to stay in with me, I would be happy to hear that he stays, that's it. Of course i am not judging the OP is she does not want to "babysit" (curious choice of word) her DH, she asked WWYD and I gave my answer.[/quote]
'Happy to hear' is a bit different to being called 'selfish' and, essentially, guilt-tripped into staying in.

I think people are conflating the fact that the OP has close contact with covid and is still planning to go out socialising - where she could still spread it, despite being double jabbed with the fact her DH wants her to “look after him”.

So for me, it’s a YANBU for wanting to go out but YABU because you’ve been in close contact with someone who has covid. The NHS website says being double jabbed means you don’t have to isolate but it does say to limit the number of people you meet and meet outside where possible….

@MrsSkylerWhite

Wondering whether your friends know your partner has Covid: they need to make an informed decision, too.

She says in the OP that they know

SoupDragon

“She says in the OP that they know“

Thanks, missed that. Coffee needed

@MrsSkylerWhite

SoupDragon

“She says in the OP that they know“

Thanks, missed that. Coffee needed

I'm one coffee and a tea ahead of you 😂

I'd go to work but at least warn my friends and choose somewhere outdoors or quiet.

You’re in the office, you’re testing negative, I’d go! Well done for Keelung your distance from him!

*keeping

Since when did guidance replace common sense and common decency?

Strikes me that all too often because something suddenly becomes guidance people treat it as if it’s mandatory, rather than exercising common sense and doing what is right compared to just what they want.

Going to work when someone in your house has tested positive for COVID is unavoidable. But going out when you are in a house where someone has tested positive for COVID is monumentally selfish because you can merrily be spreading COVID to all manner of people.

If your DH is actually self isolating then that’s one thing, but he isn’t. No, he’s not leaving the house, but he should be confined to one room with you leaving meals etc on a tray. You should be having 0 contact with him, but as things stand you are knowingly coming into contact with COVID every day and then heading out to spread it around.

A one off PCR test isn’t enough if you’re exposing yourself to COVID every single day.

But seems that a lot of people don’t realise what self isolation actually means.

The dh might not need looking after but we do see plenty of posts on here from OP’s who say they’re ill and don’t want their DH to go out on. Piss-up with their mates after having been at work all day because they just don’t want to be on their own any more, and the response is generally that the DH should stay home.

Definitely go. He’s approving of you going to work but not to see friends that you haven’t seen for two years.
He’s being incredibly selfish. Also you said he’s sleeping a lot. So what does he want you to do? Watch him sleep.
Go go go and enjoy yourself.

OP isn’t keeping her distance from him though is she/ He’s on the couch, so in a communal part of the house.

Unless he’s actually sleeping there every night then OP is likely also still sharing a bed with him at night.

YANBU, he wants you to baby him. Go enjoy your night out.

I wouldn’t personally leave my dh feeling shit. Unless he was insistent he could cope then I’d go with phone on at all times.
Depends on your relationship dynamics. What would you want him to do if the roles were reversed???

@TwoMuchTwoYoung

Definitely go. He’s approving of you going to work but not to see friends that you haven’t seen for two years. He’s being incredibly selfish. Also you said he’s sleeping a lot. So what does he want you to do? Watch him sleep. Go go go and enjoy yourself.

He's approving of you going to work but not to see friends that you haven’t seen for two years.

This is why I'd go.

Personally I wouldn’t go out on the night and would stay with DH if he had covid. That’s just what I would do though, not to say you would be wrong to go out

I wouldn’t go. Not because of your dh though.

Because you’ve been in contact with your husband who has covid and just because your pcr was negative it doesn’t mean you won’t test positive in a couple of days and go out tonight and spread it.

Work is unavoidable but going out into public I just wouldn’t risk it.

I wouldn't be going out thought in that situation. By asking your friends, who know you still want to go, you've put them in a difficult situation. Just do the right thing.

Plus, presumably you love DH and he's feeling poorly, spending a lot of time on his own, why wouldn't you choose to be there when you can? Its horrible feeling abandoned when you feel so ill.

I wouldn’t personally go but I think it’s bonkers the whole household no longer needs to isolate when a member tests positive personally.

Have you at least told your friends, and given them the option to not go?
I know that guidance states that if you are double jabbed, you don't need to self-isolate etc, and so you have every right to go out.
However, as some who is deemed CEV, I would hope my friends had the decency to tell me if they've been in close contact, and we were due to meet up. Personally, I would thank me for telling me, and then politely decline to go myself. Obviously, would have no objection to rest of my friends, meeting up without me, as they had originally planned!

I also completely understand if many others in my situation (who are also CEV) still chose to go out. It's all personal choice, but I would hope my friend would tell me and allow me to make that choice.

You have to work, so that's fair enough.

In all fairness to him, he's feeling grotty and probably a bit concerned if it's going to get any worse, so would just appreciate and enjoy you being around the house.

Also, I have to say I wouldn't meet my friends, as I genuinely wouldn't want to risk passing it onto them and all that that involves. I guess you can wear masks at work and do your best to distance, but if you're seeing friends are you going to be distanced and wearing a face mask?

Go out the longer you are away from him, the less chance of catching it from him. 😉

I’m disabled and chronically ill so never well. If I was like that, my Dh would have zero life.

The advice is literally to limit contacts. Work isn't an option. Socialising is. Please don't put others at risk for a night out. It isn't worth it.