School keeps taking away my daughter's shoe

[Dryrobeandnoknickers]

This week my Year 7 dd's school is running some baseline tests for them and on Friday we received a message from the school to let us know about these tests and ask that they bring in some headphones.

Neither dd or I own any headphones that would work with the laptop and I completely forgot to borrow some over the weekend.

On Monday during the first test she explained to the invigilator that she didn't have any, but luckily they had spares. She was told that she could borrow them in exchange for one of her shoes so "that she didn't steal them". This happened for several of the tests so she had to sit in the hall for several hours without a shoe and feels like she was being treated like a thief, and that it was humiliating.

She has now borrowed a pair of headphones for the rest of the week from a family member but chatting with some other parents this seems like a commonly used approach at the school.

I asked the school for their side of it and have just received a response saying "in the past we have loaned headphones to students and they have forgotten to return them and this has cost the school a substantial amount of money to replace them. We feel we have taken a light-hearted approach to loaning headphones to students who have forgotten to bring their own into school."

I'm pretty annoyed about how this was handled - my daughter felt it was degrading and that it not pitched in a light-hearted way but she was treated as though she might be a thief.

If I asked a colleague at the school I work at if I could borrow a pair of headphones and they asked me to give them my shoe in exchange I'd feel pretty frustrated about being treated like that too.

AIBU and this just how things work at secondary school and I'm being too precious and naïve about how to manage these things?

I know that its not the biggest of issues in the greater scheme of things but it has really grated on me and I really want to raise it with the school. Surely they'll get more out of the kids by treating them in a respectful way (which their behaviour policy states they should) and if/when there are any issues and they don't treat the school property with respect then they should be given a consequence and the parents should pay to replace them. Why not simply count out the 10 sets of headphones at the start of the test then count them back in at the end?

AIBU to challenge them on how they do this? I'm guessing an email from me isn't likely to change things but really feel I should say my piece.

I can sympathise with the school but I think what they are doing is risky. In the event of a fire.

Also - sharing headphones? I haven’t seen anyone mentioning Covid but there must be some risk of spreading with headphones.

Better and more hygienic if it were a phone or a bag but don't see it as a big deal... tbh I'd be miffed at myself for forgetting.

Simple solution...do as the school ask and buy her a pair of headphones like they ask. While you are at it make sure she a a pencil case full of pens, a scientific calculator. Ruler protector correct P.E kit and follows the school uniform rules. This will free up what precious little time her teachers have to actually teach.

This is crazy.

To everyone who says that it's a good way to deal with equipment, I would point out that it is humiliating, and if in other circumstances a person would have a choice (to stay without a shoe and get something or not to be subjected to the humiliation and cope without), the OP's daughter did not have a choice, it was forced humiliation.

And don't get me started on why every pupil's family is supposed to have (spare) headphones.

Also - sharing headphones? I haven’t seen anyone mentioning Covid but there must be some risk of spreading with headphones.
That's probably why they were told to bring in their own; they are less easy to clean than a keyboard due to being made of soft material.

Plenty the of schools do this otherwise kids forget to return borrowed equipment. Your DD needs to remember her equipment or stop being so high maintenance

@itsgettingwierd

They may think it's lighthearted and it doesn't appear to be harmful.

But actually it concerns me a lot. There will be students who come from poverished households who cannot afford headphones. Or from unsupported parents who wouldn't buy or course them.

They pupils are then punished in effect for their parental circumstances.

If they don't trust students to return them then either sit them in a separate room where they can keep an eye more closely or do the same but in the hall.

Although amusing, yes, this strategy is a big No under poverty proofing.

Many schools are having to poverty proof now. This is a way of making sure those children who qualify for free school meals and whose parents can't afford the latest gadgets or expensive presents and trips away aren't identified through school practises.

So eg, don't set the first price of writing in January as a write up what you got for Xmas, don't allow fit bits worn in school, don't allow the children who get fsm to be identified through the register call, don't hold endless money raisers / Xmas jumper day that require 1. Fancy costumes/ jumpers to be bought and 2. Lots of cash to be donated.

Yeah it's dull to rain on the shoe strategy parade but yeah sadly it's life.

@Sprocket1

For a child whose parents are struggling financially and can not afford headphones I think it singled them out and I would be annoyed too

Absolutely.

I’m a teacher in a secondary school and I do this sometimes. It’s not accusatory or accusing that individual of theft. It’s a way of them remembering to bring the piece of equipment back to me before the end of a lesson. I normally take a tie though. It works. We all laugh. I make sure it’s not anyone vulnerable or who genuinely doesn’t have access to the right equipment. I know my pupils. I know what works and this is seen as pretty standard.

YABU and need to get a life!

Let's hope nothing gets dropped on the pupils feet. It is completely inappropriate and could be dangerous

@ArblemarchTFruitbat

"in the past we have loaned headphones to students and they have forgotten to return them and this has cost the school a substantial amount of money to replace them. We feel we have taken a light-hearted approach to loaning headphones to students who have forgotten to bring their own into school.

How about they manage the issue in an adult way rather than taking this silly approach? If they must ask for something, make it a cash deposit.

If the children aren't able to supply their own headphones I highly doubt the child will just happen to have a cash deposit on them

I think you are overreacting. I can understand why they do it and it's only a shoe for heavens sake. Your daughter probably feels humiliated and as though she thinks people might think of her as a thief because someone told her that's how she ought to feel instead of taking as what it was, just a way of making sure she didn't forget the headphones needed to be handed back. Why do people have to get upset over the slightest thing these days? Talk about snowflakes.

I like this idea. Mine is a perpetual loser of things. And yes he forgot his headphones I placed in his bag

It's had to come to this because so many walk away with them not realising. Shoes do seem a bit of a strange deposit but I suppose they don't have much else in tests. Not really a big deal but should get them back straight after.

sashh

There is a huge difference between all students using some equipment and having 1/2 the class use school equipment and 1/2 using their own.

In which case it's not a good idea to ask students to bring their own equipment in. (Though I remember my own school managing this fine in maths with calculators, no chaos or Othering involved).

I think it’s quite clever actually! It’s basically a deposit, there’s no way anyone is going to forget to return them when they’re missing a shoe.

If they don't trust students to return them then either sit them in a separate room where they can keep an eye more closely or do the same but in the hall.

And you think making them sit in a separate room or putting them under strict surveillance is less obvious?

In answer to the OP from a teacher asking what other workplaces expect you to provide from your own money - (some only applying to last 12 months for some people but not those of us in public sector jobs that have always been partially remote).
Central heating on in daytime.
Fast fibre Broadband installation and fees
Office furniture
A laptop stand
A suitable chair
Electricity
A printer and paper.
Lunches and drinks with any kind of clients
Expenses for carrying out work duties such as visiting clients over and above an expenses policy that is out of date with inflation (e.g lunch has to be £5 only when travelling away).
Evenings/mornings of own time when required to travel and not allowed time back.
Wear and tear on car. In 1 year i did 15,000 miles in my own car. Mileage allowance did not cover depreciation or parts.
Notebooks pens and similar (haven't worked anywhere with stationery for years)

A lot of us volunteers for youth groups or activities and we pay for so many things from our own pocket. Guide leaders don't get their petrol money or even money for all the bits they buy for meetings.

And yes a lot of people work evenings and Sundays on reports and presentations etc for which they don't get paid. Me and DH do at least once a week. Neither of us have high paid jobs.

Yes teachers work hard. I've never met anyone who thinks otherwise (perhaps a couple of idiots who have opinions on loads of things) . But also the pay at later stages is quite good compared to other public sector jobs. It really is. Should it be more. Probably.

@Remainanonymous2

Simple solution...do as the school ask and buy her a pair of headphones like they ask. While you are at it make sure she a a pencil case full of pens, a scientific calculator. Ruler protector correct P.E kit and follows the school uniform rules. This will free up what precious little time her teachers have to actually teach.

Good advice - if the parents can afford it. Sadly, not all can.

I'm an exams invigilator. Students/pupils are expected to turn up with the right equipment and no mobile phones. I am expected to look after mobile phones if they have been brought it. I also have a reasonable supply of spare equipment to loan out. I would be challenged if I took a 'deposit' and I would refuse to do so. Never had any problems.

At least they're not asking for her knickers!

@Hesma

Plenty the of schools do this otherwise kids forget to return borrowed equipment. Your DD needs to remember her equipment or stop being so high maintenance

The daughter didn't "forget" anything. She didn't have the equipment.

Calling a child who doesn't have access to headphones "high maintenance" is pretty appalling.

This is YOUR fault, not the schools. Stop passing the buck and ensure your child has what she needs for school

If they need pupils to use headphones, they should supply them. This sort of humiliation should not be used on pupils. It is a breach of your child's human rights and a formal complaint should be raised with the Head teacher.