People who claim to be empaths are narcissists

[Justreadingtheforum3]

I know a couple of people who claim to be empaths. They say things like "I was crying I feel their pain so deeply". This is normally in response to someone telling them their problem. Everything has to be about them and their feelings.

I'm pretty sure everyone is empathetic bar a few sociopaths, but other people don't have to make other peoples trauma about them?! In fact I think its insulting to the person experiencing the trauma to have person who believes they feel their problems deeper than them.

I'm assuming we all know at least one of these "empaths".

Are people claiming to empaths narcissist?

Yabu no they're not

Yanbu they are

Some are I’m sure. The two in my life are definitely “just” empaths.

This site is obsessed with narcissists. Apparently every other person is one.

I had an ex who claimed to be an empath.

Every time I was upset about something, he would be "feeling it too" so I would somehow end up comforting him.

He spent a lot of time talking about how empathetic and spiritual he was. In reality it was just an excuse to be an egotistical knob under the guise of being guided by a higher power.

I've never heard anyone say it in real life. Anytime I see it written I assume they are self obsessed and lack insight into this.

I don't know anyone like that but it sounds like arseholery to me. Sure, other people's pain can affect people deeply, but if there's a risk it's going to turn into the injured person having to comfort the "empath" they need to pull themselves together a bit.

I've met a couple of people who claimed to be Empaths. Some of the absolute worst specimens of humanity you could ever meet and wouldn't know actual empathy if it punched them in the face. Which is what most people they talked at wanted to do to them after 5 minutes in their company.

My cousin believes that her son is a “star seed” because he is so special. She’s also an antivaxxer and seriously narcissistic. A prolific social media poster who lives her life on Facebook and Insta. I think she is an unhappy soul constantly looking for affirmation and attention. She also is an amazing empathy.

*empath

Empathy does exist on a spectrum. Even between my three kids I can see it. But yes, these people you describe exist and yes, you're right they're probably narcisists or have some other underlying issue.

Not sure about narcissist but I do think anyone claiming to be an "empath" or even declaring themselves empathiv are projecting their feelings onto others and not understanding differences.

@Bluntness100

This site is obsessed with narcissists. Apparently every other person is one.

Yes quite, its annoying when people throw it round, it starts to lose its meaning.

Every person who is empathetic I have met doesn't claim to be an empath, it's just normal to them and so I suppose doesn't stick out.

Empath? Isn’t that some Star Trek thing?
I’ve clearly missed this particular new line of self congratulatory wank. Assume it’s something to do with being affected by people’s moods? Surely most people would feel some level of empathy, that’s what stops us being cold hearted sociopaths. Sounds like a way of making everyone’s issues about themselves and also not able to give proper help and assistance because they might feel it too much.

I think that empaths definitely do exist, but I don't know whether the people you say are calling themselves empaths are or not.

It's funny how empathy has replaced compassion as the supreme virtue.

I'm sure that there are people who have a visceral response to others' suffering, some of whom profess to being an empath (and indeed use each opportunity to declare how "special" they are), and others who quietly get on with their lives and attempt to downplay their response.

I’m definitely an empath!

Ie, compassion means you are motivated to do something to help, unlike empathy.

@CounsellorTroi

I’m definitely an empath!

Someone I know had a girlfriend who claimed to be an empath. She was SO MUCH, especially on Facebook- but I’m not going to lie, it was entertaining. She also wouldn’t shut up whenever “Mercury is in retrograde” or whatever. They broke up and that blew up all over Facebook too.

I do consider myself an empathetic person, though I think a lot of that is just because I’ve got anxiety so I tend to overthink, but I wouldn’t call myself an empath and I don’t think it’s particularly unique or special.

I think empaths are more likely to be hyper vigilant which is usually caused by trauma.

I wouldn’t say they’re all narcissists, but people who claim to be empaths are generally arseholes at the very least.

YABU to generalise so much. Some people who claim to be clever aren’t clever, that doesn’t mean all people who say they’re clever aren’t clever.

The biggest narc I know goes around telling everyone what a kind and empathetic guy he is . You are not wrong

I think it's more a case of 'Some narcissists have found that they can play the 'empath' trick'

Just like they find they can play the 'kindness' trick and the 'victim' trick.

Everybody who is kind isn't a narcissist.
Everybody who claims to be a victim of something isn't a narcissist.
Everybody who claims to be an empath isn't a narcissist.

Narcissists play tricks, genuine empaths won't.

A term I saw used on MN for an empath was ‘a grief thief’. Someone who claims to be as bereaved as the close relatives in order to gain attention in rl and online.
It is really uncomfortable to see it in action.
I’ve recently been diagnosed with cancer and have deliberately not told the family members who would use it to gain attention for themselves.
In fact I told very few people because the go to reaction is sympathy which suggests they are already working out what to wear at your funeral.
Empathy is spontaneous and uncontrollable. It is a knee jerk reaction to a situation. It is not about feeling someone’s pain but all about being unable to take that pain away.