People who claim to be empaths are narcissists

[Justreadingtheforum3]

I know a couple of people who claim to be empaths. They say things like "I was crying I feel their pain so deeply". This is normally in response to someone telling them their problem. Everything has to be about them and their feelings.

I'm pretty sure everyone is empathetic bar a few sociopaths, but other people don't have to make other peoples trauma about them?! In fact I think its insulting to the person experiencing the trauma to have person who believes they feel their problems deeper than them.

I'm assuming we all know at least one of these "empaths".

Are people claiming to empaths narcissist?

Yabu no they're not

Yanbu they are

I don’t know about ‘narcissists’, but certainly attention seekers.

@Darkstar4855

YABU to generalise so much. Some people who claim to be clever aren’t clever, that doesn’t mean all people who say they’re clever aren’t clever.

Clever is a thing that exists. "An Empath" is not a thing that exists. See the difference?

Whilst the extent to which we feel empathy varies, it is never about the “I” surely. It’s insight into how someone else feels and being able to respond to their emotions not have your own take over.

Of course, someone else’s grief might trigger strong emotions in oneself. But that’s not necessarily empathy. Because you aren’t seeing or responding the other person pain. Just your own. And we don’t feel other people’s pain. Empathy means we understand it and can relate to it. But you don’t feel their pain. We feel concerned or sad for them and we offer appropriate emotional responses.

The people regularly on here screaming narcissism to me are the narcissists. Some of them are genuinely frightening and must make the lives of people around them horrible. And yes quite a few have claimed to be empathy.

I wouldn't call myself an empath but I do sort of "take" people's feelings on. I try not to let it show though, I hope it makes me a more understanding friend.

Yes, probably. "Empaths" also all seem to be under 30.... (and woke)...

@Bluntness100

This site is obsessed with narcissists. Apparently every other person is one.

This.

Ah @StinkingCold I am in my late 50s and I have an "Empath" in my life she's 69 a total narc. Constantly posts on facebook about how she feels things so deeply

Not necessarily narcissists (agree this word is too readily thrown around on here and it diminishes the true clinical meaning of the term), but the empath thing has definitely become yet another buzz term used by people who feel the need to announce their own specialness in some way or other.

Usually meaning at the very least they’re totally lacking in self-awareness. The other day I actually heard someone say “of course little old empath me couldn’t help myself” and it truly made me want to break something. Does that mean I’m a different kind of special?

"This site is obsessed with narcissists. Apparently every other person is one.

This."

And not just this site !! Practically every friend of mine (including me!!!! so not claiming any high ground here!!!!) claims to have a narcisstic parent ...

Interestingly enough when my ex and I split, his brother (also thinks of himself as spritual and an empath) began posting on social media articles about how empaths are usually attracted to narcissists, and gave strong indications that his brother is an empath and I'm a narcissist 😂 and often empaths think narcassists are their 'twin flames' but they aren't, they are false flames that the empath has to suffer to reach a higher level of understanding.

I was just glad I could be of help 😂😂

@ComDummings

I wouldn’t say they’re all narcissists, but people who claim to be empaths are generally arseholes at the very least.

This. I have an attachment disorder due to shitty parenting and I spent my entire life masking neurodivergencies that my mum denied and shamed me for.

My mum's hair-trigger temper had us all walking on eggshells so I now sense the smallest shift in atmosphere and feel compelled to "fix" people's moods because I feel that any negative energy is my fault.

I'm not an empath, it's a trauma response.

I don't think people who are very empathetic tend to think of themselves like that let alone describe it and advertise it. Whereas highly narcissistic people are keen to attach sentimental labels to themselves.

No doubt empathic people are prime targets for narcissistic people who begin a relationship by pretending to be caring and just like them. Another narcissist would be aware of the possibility of this being a scam where an empathic person will be too busy feeling for the person as a result of their awful previous relationships etc.

I'm autistic, but lots of people think I'm an empath because, contrary to the general view that autistic people are incapable of empathy, I absorb the emotions of those around me.

That's just my weird brain, I've never thought of it being anything magical or anything. I certainly don't announce 'I AM AN EMPATH' to all and sundry on social media and such. Weird behaviour.

@MotherofPoodles

I think empaths are more likely to be hyper vigilant which is usually caused by trauma.

Whoops - this is what I meant to quote with my post!

Hyper vigilant but not hyper attentive, apparently...

The narcissist who ruined my life doesn't claim to be an empath, she claims to be autistic.

@cloudacious

I don't think people who are very empathetic tend to think of themselves like that let alone describe it and advertise it. Whereas highly narcissistic people are keen to attach sentimental labels to themselves.

Quite. I saw a counsellor who told me I was an empath. I told a friend afterwards because I think she is too, so it might help her understand more easily why she gets unsettled often, but beyond that (and this post!), I've not talked to anyone about it, and certainly wouldn't allow my own feelings to encroach on a situation when somebody else was upset or was in need of my support.

I don't see the point in saying it to people. Those you get close to know your sensitivities anyway, whatever they are. They don't need a label, except when it comes to self understanding/awareness.

I agree with you OP. They are like vultures waiting to latch on to someone else's misfortune.
There is being nice and helping someone in need. And then there are the virtue signaling brigade that like to help just to get the likes on whatever social media platforms they use.

Very insecure shallow people is what they are.

Empathy is an emotional state that most people experience in n day to day life. It is not a personality type.

Empathy means being able to put yourself in the position of someone else and see how things feel from their perspective. A person might do something that you wouldn’t do but empathy means being able to understand why they acted that way.

It does not mean feeling everything as if it was happening to you. Surely this is the exact opposite of empathy.

Sympathy and understanding are preferable to empathy in my opinion. "Putting your self in someone else's shoes" - depending on the person - doesn't leave enough room for the original wearer. It is so often turned around for the empathetic person to become the main topic, which is not how it should work.

It should be perfectly possible to see another person's point of view without displacing theirs - and that can be a narcissistic trait.

I was a therapist, so had to have empathy. I wouldn’t be weeping though!

@Cactu

Empathy means being able to put yourself in the position of someone else and see how things feel from their perspective. A person might do something that you wouldn’t do but empathy means being able to understand why they acted that way.

It does not mean feeling everything as if it was happening to you. Surely this is the exact opposite of empathy.

I think some people interpret it literally as in they feel like it is actually happening to them. Which I imagine some people possibly do, but not because they are psychic or magic, just because they are more attuned to picking up on subtle hints in body language etc.

Some people are just emotional vampires. They aren’t really empathic - just sooking up the drama.

There were a few threads on here the other week where people claimed to be empathic. To me it sounded like the new "anxiety" on here.