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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think high heels look a bit silly?

310 replies

postingfortraffichere · 21/09/2021 21:06

I'm a sucker for them (or used to be) but the more time goes by I'm starting to feel they have very little place in my wardrobe.

I feel overdressed and try to hard in them. I think it's hard to pull off the effortless look in heels. But I also feel like something is missing when I don't wear them on a night out for example.

I feel like it's yet another pointless trend for women to continue following - that are really uncomfortable and serve no real purpose.

I've also noticed younger women rarely wear them - have they seen the light?!

Or AIBU for feeling this way

OP posts:
JasonMomoasgirlfriend · 22/09/2021 08:46

@Ansjovis

From some of the replies in this thread it's a good job I do not care about what's in fashion. I like wearing heels and don't find them particularly uncomfortable, given that I wear and dance in 8 inch platform heels 4 inches seems like nothing to me.
Oh god I feel sorry for future you! Fingers crossed you aren't affected badly.
Icenii · 22/09/2021 08:49

As an aside from the issue of heels, why are some people stating no younger people would be seen dead in them as if its something we must all aspire to? To look like a younger person? How is that anymore liberating? It's still stating a women must look good, younger!

HappydaysArehere · 22/09/2021 08:50

If you want trouble free feet in later life than abandon high heels. I had to because of back trouble and I regretted it then but now I am the only bunion free eighty year old in my family.

EarringsandLipstick · 22/09/2021 08:54

@olidora63

Our manager late 50s who is same age as me and very skinny wears very high heels …she actually looks really common..no not jealous but think she looks very unprofessional …sorry!
Fuck's sake.

Why do you think this is ok to say?

God, women on women is the worst sometimes. 🤬

Macncheeseballs · 22/09/2021 08:55

Jadonmoma, so are my slippers OK Hmm, bare feet? My feet are in excellent nick, compared to some of my high heel wearing friends, not a bunion or mis-shape in sight, not sure about the ballet pump theory

IfNot · 22/09/2021 08:56

I remember when Lily Allen came out and was wearing trainers with a dress it was really unusual and edgy.
Well since I was wearing cocktail dresses with converse in 1990 I didn’t really! I live heels and miss them, tho I always wore chunky ones. I HATE the snide comments about “ only middle aged women”. So what??? I wear my high heeled chunky shoes with a slight platform sole and I can stride about in them. I grew up watching fabulous 40s movie stars and always thought that’s what being grown up should be like!

Cryalot2 · 22/09/2021 09:03

I used to love them but they were never practical. But as time has went on and arthritis kicked in at 30 I had to wear them less.
To me the best thing about current fashion is good thick soled trainers with dresses and everything. Bought some gorgeous ones with palm design from fitflop and whilst expensive I have worn them no end .I still have a couple of pairs of heels which I would like to wear again although lockdown and covid have changed life, so who knows .

JasonMomoasgirlfriend · 22/09/2021 09:03

@Macncheeseballs well you can do your own research. I'd say I would choose a ballet pump over a heel any day of the week. But ballet pumps and basically shoes that just don't offer support are not good for you. Just because you don't feel the affects now....you may regret your footwear choice in later years.

To think high heels look a bit silly?
3scape · 22/09/2021 09:04

They are an older fashion, some think they are classic, some think they're just trashy. It's a matter of taste for some. A matter of reality for me and entirely abelist of the company I worked for that considered them required business dress. So I didn't get through the probation period.

There are some nice ones, but I just laugh at the idea. I've never been ok in them. I've always been too ugly to pull somethi g like that off.

WaterBottle123 · 22/09/2021 09:09

@JasonMomoasgirlfriend

Shoes don't need to offer support. Our feet are perfectly evolved to walk without support. Shoes are a pretty recent invention you know Grin

WingingItSince1973 · 22/09/2021 09:09

I am 48 and have always worn chunky style shoes and boots. I just can't get on with high heels. My sis in law has gorgeous slim feet and looks fab and a midi heel. But for me nope. Never. I love dresses etc but have always worn chunky flats. I do like to be comfy too x

TheKeatingFive · 22/09/2021 09:11

Shoes don't need to offer support. Our feet are perfectly evolved to walk without support. Shoes are a pretty recent invention you know

Our feet aren’t perfectly evolved to walk in shoes and ballet pumps offer no support to the arch. They’re not great for feet at all. I thought that was common knowledge?

Cryalot2 · 22/09/2021 09:14

In saying that i must add I never wear flats, I was told they are bad for you. My slippers are a pair of fitflop slip on mules/loafers bought specially for the purpose of slippers.
I suppose I am one of those people who mostly only wear fitflops. I bought my first pair to tone my legs ( they promised that when they first came out) and yes I have great legs . Shame about the rest of me. I just found the brand so comfortable that over the years thats all I wear most of the time.

brokenbiscuitsx · 22/09/2021 09:14

[quote WaterBottle123]@JasonMomoasgirlfriend

Shoes don't need to offer support. Our feet are perfectly evolved to walk without support. Shoes are a pretty recent invention you know Grin[/quote]
This is what I don’t understand. I hear it often that the best support for our feet and back are slight heels but surely walking barefoot is fine, with it being how we’ve evolved and all.

sansucre · 22/09/2021 09:17

When worn with a short, tight body con dress, then yes, high heels do look dated, but then to my mind, that whole mode of dressing has been dated for a long time.

While I don't wear heels all the time, I do like to wear them, often with a midi-skirt or midi-dress. I particularly like high heeled ankle boots and jeans too. I think it's more what you're wearing them with that stops them from looking silly. Most pertinently, if you don't like or enjoy wearing heels, don't wear them - it's a personal choice, not something mandatory.

I tend to wear them I want to feel more put together, or to steal a revolting fashion term 'to elevate my look'. Heels add a certain je ne sais quoi to an outfit that flats do not.

sansucre · 22/09/2021 09:23

@Sommernacht89

High heels ruin your feet and look naff and old fashionend.it is usually women with horrid lipfiller,fake tan and caked on make up,who wears high heels.yuk!!
WOW. That's a sweeping statement and a half.

I don't wear make-up and am free from filler, Botox and fake tan and I like to wear heels. I most certainly do not look naff of old-fashioned and neither are my feet ruined.

BoredZelda · 22/09/2021 09:23

As an aside from the issue of heels, why are some people stating no younger people would be seen dead in them as if its something we must all aspire to? To look like a younger person?

It says that young people, who aren't shackled by 50 years of tradition or social convention, are choosing to do things differently, making a different choice which suits people better. It has nothing to do with looking like a young person.

Shoes don't need to offer support. Our feet are perfectly evolved to walk without support. Shoes are a pretty recent invention you know

Other things that are pretty recent inventions, sanitation, indoor plumbing, central heating, anti-biotics. Just because we didn't have them for a very long time, doesn't mean we don't need them now.

Sure, when we died forty years younger and our only concern was not being eaten by predators, shoes were the least of our worries, but take a look at the feet of someone who hasn't had decent shoes before you decide good support isn't necessary.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 22/09/2021 09:25

Shoes don't need to offer support. Our feet are perfectly evolved to walk without support. Shoes are a pretty recent invention you know grin
This is what I don’t understand. I hear it often that the best support for our feet and back are slight heels but surely walking barefoot is fine, with it being how we’ve evolved and all.

I think if we are going to wear shoes we need support as we’re carrying the shoe on our feet. Having to grip a shoe in by tensing your feet - like a court shoe or ballet slipper - is a problem.

JustLyra · 22/09/2021 09:26

@Macncheeseballs

Justlyra - how can a ballet pump be just as bad for you as a high heel, I've only ever had blisters or pain from the latter
Because most of them are completely lacking in arch support.

Especially cheap ones - they are a one way street to plantar fasciitis and posture issues

arield · 22/09/2021 09:30

@PyongyangKipperbang

If they give you blisters and aching feet then you have the wrong size or fit. I have bought flats that I have worn a handful of times because of the horrible blisters, I think that they were too narrow. However I have pairs of heels that I know I can wear to walk to my local and back (about 3 miles total) and still feel fine.

And yes it is judgemental to say "They are aging/dated/secretarial (wtf?!) silly" instead of "I dont like them, I dont wear them but dont give a thought to anyone else who chooses to wear them".

Heels make your feet ache because of the awful positioning of the foot. Don't try and say otherwise
arield · 22/09/2021 09:32

@Downton57

Why do high heels need to be part of 'formal wear' though? Why do we need to damage our feet to look smart? Men wouldn't. It certainly doesn't make sense from a safety or comfort angle .
Exactly.

A few women have come on here to say they like heels because they're 'senior' and need the height. Well, why?

Another poster said she didn't like heels because they are 'sexy' but liked them because they lengthen her legs. Why do you want your legs to look lengthened if not to look 'sexy'?

arield · 22/09/2021 09:33

Men do nothing from a fashion perspective or rarely do that's uncomfortable or risks their health.

A lot of men take steroids for bigger muscles etc, so they do do risky things for trends

Beefcurtains79 · 22/09/2021 09:33

These threads always turn sneery and nasty, posters who prefer flat shoes always seem to get jibes in about what try hard, unfashionable losers women who wear heels are.
Meanwhile Amina Muaddi shoes are selling out like hotcakes.

Dancingonmoonlight · 22/09/2021 09:36

but take a look at the feet of someone who hasn't had decent shoes before you decide good support isn't necessary

This is very true. I know an eighty something year old whose feet are deformed from wearing badly fitting shoes.
They are shocking to see.

arield · 22/09/2021 09:37

@Libraryghost

I am surprised by some of the strong reactions. If women want to wear heels and they will again once fashions change - then it’s their choice. All this patriarchy shit makes me laugh. Women dress for themselves and to outshine other women. Nobody forces young women to put fillers in their lips, men actively say they hate it but girls still do it!
And why do women want to outshine other women?