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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think high heels look a bit silly?

310 replies

postingfortraffichere · 21/09/2021 21:06

I'm a sucker for them (or used to be) but the more time goes by I'm starting to feel they have very little place in my wardrobe.

I feel overdressed and try to hard in them. I think it's hard to pull off the effortless look in heels. But I also feel like something is missing when I don't wear them on a night out for example.

I feel like it's yet another pointless trend for women to continue following - that are really uncomfortable and serve no real purpose.

I've also noticed younger women rarely wear them - have they seen the light?!

Or AIBU for feeling this way

OP posts:
ThePotatoCroquette · 21/09/2021 21:28

I remember when Lily Allen came out and was wearing trainers with a dress it was really unusual and edgy. Now everyone does it. I think it's great. To be having fun, wearing really feminine fashions, but also be really comfortable in flat shoes, boots or trainers. I'm sure the fashion tides will turn again but I won't be changing my ways! Flats for life now!

LobsterNapkin · 21/09/2021 21:28

I think they are less in style at the moment than they have been at other times.

It can be hard though when you switch something like shoe styles, or give up on skinny jeans say, because all of a sudden the ways you used to coordinate your outfit don't work.

I find the best way to compensate is look out for other women who have a style similar to your own, or which you like, and make a point of noticing their shoes and how they fit together with the rest of the outfit.

CityDweller · 21/09/2021 21:28

I rarely wore them anyway and just spent a satisfying half hour chucking all my old, dusty pairs into a bag to take to charity. I just looked at them and thought ‘I’m never going to wear you again’. I wear brogues to work to be smart, haven’t been to a wedding in years and would wear sparkly flats, funky trainers or brogues on a night out.

FairlyOddmother · 21/09/2021 21:30

Haven't worn 'smart' non trainer-esque shoes in over 2 years. Looked at Schuh online for interview shoes and was delighted to find only 4 pairs of heels in my size vs around 50 flat styles. Bought some lovely loafers, happy to be comfy and, apparently, stylish!

5128gap · 21/09/2021 21:32

@LexMitior

I think they are ageing; most women around here have abandoned them.

It looks odd in the office - I don't see anyone wearing them. If someone does, it all looks a bit "Private Dancer", which isn't a work look!

It depends on the wearer I think, and the shoe. Certain types of white trainer, especially when worn with a midi dress, have become very much associated with middle age. And some flat shoes can make the wearer look dumpy, which isn't a youthful look.
Meruem · 21/09/2021 21:34

I’m tall anyway, plus I have large fat feet! So heels never really worked for me. I used to see pictures of women in little high heeled strappy sandals, with their dainty feet, and feel so jealous! I think that also I used to stoop a bit when I did wear heels as I was so self conscious of my height. So I am beyond happy that it’s now fashionable to wear flats on a night out. Of course I am now of an age where I don’t have many nights out and if I do, fashion isn’t a priority, so it’s not like it matters that much! But I am glad to see them become not as popular. I know for a fact I will never put a pair on these trotters again!

Mycatismadeofstringcheese · 21/09/2021 21:35

I walk like new-born foal in them, so no heels ever for me.

Love my flats and trainers.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 21/09/2021 21:35

And some flat shoes can make the wearer look dumpy, which isn't a youthful look

I could wear 6 inch stilettoes and I'd still look older and dumpy - I'd just be older and dumpy on stilts (when not toppling over with a broken ankle).

x2boys · 21/09/2021 21:35

Personal choice surely?
I used to wear heels in my clubbing days, but find them very uncomfortable, i prefer flats
But some people like them.

annacondom · 21/09/2021 21:36

Yanbu - I have always thought they are just designed to make women look more vulnerable, curvy and wobbly, and therefore more attractive to men. Flats with a skirt/dress just don't feel the same, don't feel as dressy, but it's an awfully long time since I last wore heels. Even my favourite boots are flats.

BuffySummersReportingforSanity · 21/09/2021 21:38

I am very happy that they are so thoroughly out of fashion. I enjoyed wearing them in my younger days, but haven't had them on since my first pregnancy and don't miss them. They look a bit... dated and try-hard to me in general at the moment.

Pissinthepottyplease · 21/09/2021 21:41

The latest You’re Dead to me podcast (think horrible histories for grown ups) is all about the history of high heels. Apparently they were originally worn by men.

CatKittyCatCatKittyCatCat · 21/09/2021 21:41

I’ll never go back to them. I’ve kept one pair of wedges for nostalgia but that’s it .

Ionlydomassiveones · 21/09/2021 21:41

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

JayDot500 · 21/09/2021 21:41

What will we all say when heels 'come back' into fashion?

When I was midteen (early 00s), I wore those platform trainers and I was the odd one. I'm now older and I only really wear heels when dressing up for parties etc, but I don't think they age a person the way some of you are alluding to. I think the way people place clothing/attire in 'in' or 'out' fashion boxes is dated.

MoiraRose4 · 21/09/2021 21:41

Or… we could all wear what we like and are comfortable in?? Rather than calling things ‘ageing’, ‘dumpy’, ‘ridiculous’ etc.

thistimelastweek · 21/09/2021 21:42

High heels look fab.

They don't feel fab if you're wearing them for any length of time.

Either way, nothing looks better than a woman striding out comfortably and strongly.

OnTheBoardwalk · 21/09/2021 21:48

@FortunaMajor

I've just read a book about 9/11. One of the first emergency workers on scene talks about being really confused by the sheer number of abandoned shoes until he realised they were high heels kicked off in and around the buildings as women fled for their lives and couldn't in the shoes they had on. Makes you think.
Yeah on one of the recent documentaries a women said her boss 'screamed in her face to take off her heels and run'

I don’t wear heels but pre Covid I was involved in a fire drill that made me have to walk down 18 flights of stairs. I was good in my block boots but a lot of women were struggling in heels

RicherThanYew · 21/09/2021 21:48

I miss wearing mine, disability and balance shot to shit means the likelihood of me wearing them again is slim but I can't bring myself to donate yet.

5128gap · 21/09/2021 21:48

@NeverDropYourMooncup

And some flat shoes can make the wearer look dumpy, which isn't a youthful look

I could wear 6 inch stilettoes and I'd still look older and dumpy - I'd just be older and dumpy on stilts (when not toppling over with a broken ankle).

It was just a response to all the heel hate really. Which is fine if you hate them for you, but it always seems to turn into how daft/old/dated/try hard women who do wear heels look, and how cool the flats wearers are by comparison. When in fact different styles look and feel good on different people.
olidora63 · 21/09/2021 21:50

I am wearing only short heels to a wedding very soon and am dreading it …am feeling old even contemplating it ! Had a massive fall two years ago wearing sensible shoes walking the dog in broad daylight!! Dislocated shoulder and broken arm ..am now really scared wearing any kind of heel 😳

2018SoFarSoGreat · 21/09/2021 21:53

I have had a longstanding love of heels, and the way I look in them. However, I have not been able to actually wear them since a back injury, alas. I covet them, and have kept several pairs in the hope that the day shall arise when I can wear them again.

Now? I actually found myself thinking a woman I saw teetering about on stilettoes looked actually silly. Glamourous if she stood still, but moving? Nope. Just silly. That shocked me, and I did a retake. On consideration, I feel the same - and angry that someone made us love such ridiculous torture vehicles!

If you can walk in them, and not teeter, wear them and love it! I shall be jealous and silently sad. For me, flats win.

WaterTheGrass · 21/09/2021 21:54

I haven’t worn heels since before the first lockdown. Before that, heeled ankle boots were my staple work footwear, but they suddenly feel incredibly dated and I just can’t stand the constricted m, uncomfortable feeling of heels any more.

It’s hard to find a perfect alternative, though. I never feel as ‘dressed’ in flats, despite definitely not needing the extra height (5’11!)…but I think it’s a transition for me and I’m having to find a whole different style of dressing smartly to fit with my new comfy, flat footwear.

Hoping I’m more fashionable, at least, as here in London I don’t think I’ve seen a single bright young thing wearing heels in a few years. They seem to have totally gone out of fashion.

Wiredforsound · 21/09/2021 21:55

I think they look quite dated now. You don’t really see anyone wearing them, even at night. I guess it’s a mixture of women not feeling the need to look sexually available to men any more, combined with a ‘relaxing’ of mainly self imposed rules because of COVID. You’re also hobbling yourself and putting yourself at a disadvantage (as someone mentioned above) in an emergency. I have some lovely brogues, a pair of DM loafers and a few pairs of trainers, and that’s me now.

ArianaG · 21/09/2021 21:55

I think they look unfashionable and are ageing. Most younger women wear trainers, chunky boots or DMS, it's the middle age women that wear them nowadays it seems.