Which is harder, being a stay at home parent or working full time?

[guac]

I know this will probably vary dependent on the number of children and the type of job. Let's assume the hours of the job and SAHP are Mon to Fri 9-5. Not trying to bash either role by the way, just interested in peoples opinions

Haven't read the full thread, but I'm a self employed SAHM and my gosh, it's hard. I've got two kids; 2 years and 6 months.
When my eldest was born, I didn't work at all and I was mind numbingly bored, lonely and it was relentless.
I decided I would resume work earlier with my 6 month old, my mental health is better, but it is hard. My husband is wfh, so there are some perks to being able to pop out to the shops when they're both napping without them and I have found the difference that makes incredible.
When I do get to go and do aspects of my work that are outside the house and leave the kids with DH, I find that I have so much more patience and actually enjoy them more.
I haven't tried working FT as a parent, but I'm pretty sure I'd find that hard too, leaving them at nursery between 8 Great 6 everyday.
I agree with those that have said being a parent and in my experience, particularly a mother is bloody hard. Great, wouldn't ever trade it, but it is hard.

For me, definitely being at home with dc when small, I found it isolating, gruelling, mentally and emotionally challenging as well as obviously also being all of the positive things.
My experience and life would have been so much easier by out sourcing care all day, meals etc.
Even when I went back to work and dc had three meals a week at an after school club.. That was an enormous help to me. Just for three night not having to worry about what to do feed them so yes it would have been amazing and a totally different experience.

But my circumstances were little ££, massive budget and cut backs on everything, and zero family support at all so it really was me 100% of the time and only nursery when they hit the free hours at 3.

Again just to have some hours from 2 at nursery would have been a huge massive help.

Sugar, yes it is incredible just to have that help of another body to watch them. One of the hardest things for me was that total loss of freedom to nip or pop anywhere.

Most families I know with two earners buy in all the help they need and can afford meals out at weekends/ takeaways holidays etc so no not all working parents have to come home and then do all the chores.

We both work ft (DH is self employed and regularly works 6 days a week.) We dont buy in any help around the house and have meals out or take aways once every few months - certainly not enough to lighten the everyday load. We prob could afford a cleaner but everyone talks about "clearing up for the cleaner" and I sometimes think I would find that more stressful than doing it myself...and I would worry the cleaner was judging how messy we are.
However lots of families where we are do all the things you list - both working parents and SAHM. The most frequent request on the local fb page is for a cleaner (seems I am in the minority!)

It so depends on personal circumstances. My job (which I love) is very demanding and high pressure. My children were easy going as babies and toddlers. I am very thankful for my career and love it, but my maternity leaves were an absolute breeze in comparison to working.

Sahp was harder for me and I was only ever home with 1. I WFH full time now and it is amazing.

Could someone please tell me specifically which job is easier than being a SAHM?

Could someone please tell me specifically which job is easier than being a SAHM?

I saw on some bizarre tv programme featured on gogglebox, a lady who filmed herself farting (for some kind of sexual fetish website) .....she got paid quite well for it.?🤣🤣🤣

Could someone please tell me specifically which job is easier than being a SAHM?

Well it depends entirely but I am a senior litigation lawyer and I find that easier than being a SAHM 🤷🏻‍♀️

@TeachesOfPeaches

Could someone please tell me specifically which job is easier than being a SAHM?

Well surely that depends on the person? I've got friends who have found working working retail and offices easier than being SAHMs. They desperately needed adult contact and hated toddler groups, soft play and constantly having to amuse toddlers.

Personally I found being at home easier than anything I'd done previously or since. But retail or office work are my idea of hell. Id much rather be playing small world games, doing craft, baking etc etc.

Joking aside I think there is a big difference in being at home with a newborn and maybe 1 or 2 pre school /primary aged kids when the childcare aspect is full on, and you have barely time for the loo, and being at home with tweens/teens who can walk themselves to and from school and entertain themselves, make food etc.

I'm both. It's very full on but I wouldn't have it any other way. Feel very fulfilled.

I don't think - in normal circumstances - working full time or being a SAHP is particularly difficult, unless there are underlying issues. It's only difficult in the sense of being busy and tiring. What is very difficult is being a lone parent and working full time. All of the housework, all if the responsibility to provide financially, all of the responsibility for your children's wellbeing and nobody to help even when you are really unwell.

Might have been said already but being solely responsible for the family income is burden like no other.

I hated full t. No time for anything. Had to keep changing kids apts as couldnt get to them. Depends on your help too. My colleague coped great with FT but grandad gave a good digout if needed. Im part T now school hours its mucheasier on household

I've done both. Stay at home parent when on maternity leave. I was part time for a while. Now children are older, since youngest was 8 I'm working full time.

For me, staying at home was a million times easier. I have 3 children. Working full time, arranging the childcare, being in a crazily busy job plus all the housework jobs that dh and I have to get done after work.

Waking up and doing whatever you like for the day while someone else foots the bill is as easy as it can get.

From doing both, and even with working full time doing a 40/50 hour week in hospitality on my feet all day with no breaks, staying at home was still a million times harder!

I should probably add though that I had a cleaner once a fortnight for a couple of hours which definitely helped a lot! I also got my shopping delivered. I think I actually had more quality time with my kids whilst working full time.

Working full time and then coming home to do all the housework, shopping, homework etc.

@TeachesOfPeaches

Waking up and doing whatever you like for the day while someone else foots the bill is as easy as it can get.

But it isn't.

It's being woken up against your will and at the mercy of a small dictator all day. It's grim and something I'd only do if forced to.

@AICM

Might have been said already but being solely responsible for the family income is burden like no other.

I agree. I think this is often underestimated.

I'm a single parent ( two children) , and work full time managing a mental health young peoples home. My life is relentless right now 😂

It’s not as simple as that. Does the hypothetical person have regular, dependable childcare on tap? (Supportive family nearby etc?) Because then working full time becomes much easier.

If you have to sort all of your own shit out, school runs, half term breaks etc, then FT work is much tougher.

SAHP is so damn hard because it’s unappreciated drudgery. The beginning is nice but it looms on and on and people think you’re just doing nothing.

@JoborPlay so when you go to work you aren't answerable to anyone?

I worked full time as a single parent from when my son was 8 months old and it was horrific. Any SAHM saying sitting at home is harder is delusional.