To think 36 isn’t that old for a first baby

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Old school friend has told me that people are saying she’s too old to be pregnant.

People have babies at all sorts of ages for all sorts of reasons. Personally as a 37 year old with a 14 and 11 year old I couldn't imagine just starting with the baby years at my age but lots of people do.

Had my first at 36, second at 43.

I'm 35 and consider myself too old to have a first child. It's personal choice.

In biological terms it kinda is but it's also perfectly normal. I was 36 when I had DD and all bar one of our NCT group are very similar ages (+/- 3 years). A few of them are now on baby number 2 at a couple of years older than that.

It’s a generational thing. I’m late 50s, and most of my peers had our pfbs in our late twenties.

Our adult kids who are now late 20s are nowhere near that stage yet. Are the people saying that to your friend in her parents’ age group?

To me that's old and I couldn't imagine having a baby at that age. But I had my first at 20. It's all a matter of personal opinion.

36 is perfectly fine.
It depends on where you live, the age of first time mums varies hugely. Round here it would be on the older side, but I've heard that in other areas it would be considered normal if not on the younger side.

It’s older than average for a first baby, but that’s not the same as being too old.

36 is not too old for you first baby. Your friend will be anxious enough without people making silly comments like this.

Biologically it is pretty old but it’s very much the norm now.

No, it isn't too old. I was 32 when I had mine, but lots of educated, professional women are waiting longer these days. The only slight issue is that fertility does begin to decline as you get older, so there are some minor risks. But it definitely isn't too old and I know many women who have started families later than this.

36 isn’t unusual where I am (south east). I had DS1 at 27 and amongst my friends I was the first to have a baby. Some of them are nowhere near that point in their lives still.

I had my ds at 45. He's a teen now but so far no problems. We are both happy, healthy, I'm as involved in his life as every other mum in the class is with their child. And incidentally, I'm not the oldest mum in the year.

Tell your friend that she needs to think sensibly about keeping herself fit and healthy, so she can always keep up, but otherwise to ignore the ageism and bigotry. It's nonsense.

I was 36 having DS, I don't think it's too old but i do think that it's never a 'right time' to start a family and everyone is different.

I was 36 and worried I was too old. I mentioned it to my midwife, who just snorted and said "nonsense".

Mine is an only child though. I might have had more if I'd started younger, but that's just how things worked out for us.

Biologically it’s old for a first baby.
Socially, it’s more and more normal. We have advanced healthcare and are healthier than our ancestors. If she wants a baby, she should crack on.

Well obviously it's old by any objective physical measure. It's culturally normal for middle class women in some countries including the UK. But that doesn't make one's eggs/heart/joints/other organs young.

I don’t think it’s ‘too’ old but I’d be surprised if a 36 year old I knew was having a first baby

Had my two boys at 35 and 39.
I was lucky and didn't have any issues conceiving which is part of the risk of leaving things late.
I'm 60 next year and wondering what age I might be if/when I get to be a grandmother.
My sister had her kids young and is now a great grandmother (she turned 70 this year)
Don't think either of us have any regrets

What? I am 59 now and: me: first at 41 then 43; friend: first at 46; cousin: first at 45; another friend: first at 41; another: first at 42…. And there are tons who had seconds and thirds in their 40s.
My mother was born in 1925 and had her first (of three) at 35.
People should mind their own business and keep their opinions to themselves - how is it helping her, already pregnant, to say she is too old?

Of course she’s not too old for a first baby! How bizarre!

@Kindertonguehappierlife

I don’t think it’s ‘too’ old but I’d be surprised if a 36 year old I knew was having a first baby

It would be perfectly normal in my circles. However, most people I know would probably be surprised about someone having a baby before 30.

I should as all but one of the above was conceived naturally and all mums (and dads, if they are around) are active and healthy.

Biologically it is but plenty of women do so it's become the norm now in our society

It depends largely on your socioeconomic norm which I suspect the OP knows, to be honest.

There is a strong correlation between the education levels of the mother and the age she is at having her first child.

And I know. I know you have a PHD and first baby aged sixteen while your cousins best friends next door neighbours sister left school at 16 without any gcses and just had her first baby aged 42. I’m referring to general trends.